For fuck's sake, Beth! Neither I (nor Lisa, I presume) "know anything." I truly hate to see you going through all of this though, I will tell you that. The more that you rehash this "stuff," the more I conclude that most (if not all) of these goings on are the product of your own vivid imagination. Well who knows, maybe someone else is fucking with you, but it sure ain't me. If any of this is true and someone is in fact doing these things that you're talking about, fuck them. I'd like to know who they are so I could give them what for. I really don't like the thought of this stuff happening in your life, whether it's you that's the cause, or someone else.
All of this stuff you talk about reminds me of a bad trip I once had. I took acid and went to a party where I didn't know a lot of the people. I was CONVINCED that there was something "going on" because of my own interpretation of certain things people said and did in my proximity. I started to believe that there were people there that were either fucking with me for fun (which i guess was remotely possible, but not likely) or because they really did have some scheme brewing and they intended to carry it out. It got so bad that I had to isolate myself in my friend's room. I remember at first being freaked out, but then getting angry. I wanted to find out what the fuck was "going on" and why. What I'm saying to you is that I have experienced (in the short term) a taste of what you are going through and I know it isn't pretty. Anyway, there I was in that room spilling my guts to this other friend who had come in to check on me. He gave me some advice that hit home and made sense to me. After I kept insisting that people were deliberately fucking with me and that they must have some fucked-up agenda, he said to me, "Let's assume for a minute that what you are saying is true, and that something really is going on. You can always FIGHT BACK!" Somehow this helped me to realize that I had some sort of *control* in the situation, and that I could take some course of action with them if need be. It made me feel better somehow. I honestly hadn't thought of it myself. My overwhelmed mind hadn't wrapped itself around the situation enough to realize that I could in fact fight back if I had to. Just hearing this calmed me down a bit. I was able to catch some z's and I took off home on my bike the next morning, I can still remember riding back up MLK Blvd that sunny morning.
For the record, I am not playing games with you, and I don't know about anyone playing games with you. I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but it is the truth! You asked, so I'm telling you.
Remember- If you have to, FIGHT BACK. If it makes you feel better, go to Walmart (or someplace more pc) and get yourself a gun or a knife. If someone gives you a reason to use it, then you can use it! You have the right to defend yourself... I hope this helps.