no,i'm actually not a mean guy at all!i earned my "nick name" it was given to me by my friends...i didn't make it up myself nor did i like the nickname at first either...but i am what i am!....i am a hippie..
have been since before str8!where in the "rule book" does it state that i can't be mad for the crap that happened to me in that place?....yes i am mad....
mad as hell at a lot of shit that happened to me during and after str8.....i've never done a mean thing to anybody that didn't have it coming....
6 months ago,after keeping my chin up and trying to move on after all these yrs,i came to realise just how much crap i was "brainwashed" into accepting....how much unnessary crap was done to me while i was involved in there....how much crap f-ed soooo many other ppl in there before or after my own "tenure" in that dispicable place! i didn't deserve the crap stoughton str8 did to me..
shit if they had said don't come up,that would've been ok.....but the crap they did to me up there was an all time low to me......it messed my "brainwashed head" up really bad.....after that,all the illusions that that place was a good place just simply disappeared.....oh,i know,AA/str8 would say that i didn't "work my program",thats why i didn't stay "sober".....no,in my case that just simply not true.....i lost my belief in that place...
dude or sister,{not sure which}i wasn't even allowed to go to the 7 step meetings....."sylvia" said i'd be arrested if i ever stepped foot on the premises....i have a lot of very bitter,unresolved feelings about what happened to me up there....it was totally unnessesary to do to me...it almost killed me man.....those ppl i mentioned were extremly involved in that witch hunt....whiffed deanie beanies ass for approval and screwed me over....lol...how would you have felt in my shoes? i trusted them! they were my roommates!i tried to just forget what happened to me during and after str8,hell,i didn't even talk
about str8 for 18+ yrs,but it kept on haunting me.....and still affects me daily in life....one
thing i have found out on this or the other sites,is that i'm not alone.....look...read...and
you'll see that i'm right.....i'll tell you this about me,if you were broke down on the side of the road,i'd be the one to help you....rain,snow
etc....it wouldn't matter!i was like that before i went into str8,i was like that after str8,if
what happened to me under the Miller newton experience wasnt enough,stoughton had to do a shitty thing like that to me?i've never forgotten what happened to me up there...it's as if it was yesterday man.....maybe i shouldn't have mentioned names,you might be right....but you'll never see anything that says i was part of f-ing anyone up in there....you'll never hear that i took part in a deliberate scheme to f- somone up in there,you'll never hear ANY of my NEW COMERS SAY THAT I WAS A BRUTAL,MIND F_ING PERSON TO ANY OF THEM! in st pete,i was percieved as "weak" because i never just yelled ,screamed and cussed anyone out just to kiss staffs ass....i wanted to help ppl,i was smart enough to know that kind of approach was stupid.....it used to piss jim sailor off that my approach actually worked with a lot of ppl i did confront.....in fact,when i 7 stepped...many ppl that graduated after me,would thank me for being sincere to them!they became some of my best friends later......i can call ANY
of them and i won't get the phone slammed in my ear!......well,if you want,please send me a private e-mail.....shit, you might find out i'm not that bad a person after all.....hippie