Well, maybe frustrated is the right word, because today I come to you with a wide range of issues that should make me very frustrated and very upset. I find that those problems do not make me frustrated, or angry, or even put me up in a huff. These issues make me feel ever so slightly annoyed, and depressed.
I don't understand the world really. There are good people in the world. I know this. I have seen them. FBI officers, police officers, firemen, soldiers, medics, teachers, people of some sort of faith all over the world. These are good people. I know there are evil people to, but I know, from even my short experience that there are more good people than there are bad people. I really don't understand then why evil still exists in this world. If there are more good people than bad people then shouldn?t the good destroy the evil? Is this not why we have police officers, soldiers, public servants? It hurts to think that evil exists in this world and these people seem to be doing as much as they can, or sometimes maybe not a lot, but still they are working on it, yet still it exists.
People are dieing in far of countries because some warlord disagrees with them. People are getting blown up. Children are dieing every where for stupid reasons, like easily curable sickness, and not enough food. It makes me very sad to see things like this. It used to frustrate me, it really did. I used to want to change the world, I used to want to fix every wrong, stop every evil person, make every one happy, see smiles on children?s faces, and help others. But now, thanks to resent events. I just get sad. I see authority figures that I respect, simply because of their position, and my belief that they are good people, just brush it off. Sure, they say they care, and I know they have saved people. I know they have served people. I know them to be good people, yet they don?t seem to want to stop it. they seem to be beaten down by the world. I don?t see flame in their eyes, I don?t see passion. I see good men that just want to get along and protect their own. I see men and women that are heroes, but not on the worlds stage, where I think they are needed the most.
It makes me sad to see such men just living and doing their jobs, loving their families and such. While all this is good in its self I don?t understand when they have the power to do something, they don?t do something. I have no power and I am passionate about doing something, yet when I have the power I am afraid I will turn into them. I'm afraid I will be a hero to a few, and not the world as I wish now. It really saddens me. I think I'm losing the flame, because with age seems to come experience, with experience wisdom, and sometimes wisdom says not to fight, just go with the flow; and that makes me sad.
This will be my last post for a little while because of some events in my life. I wish I could save every one, I wish I could help every one, but as I get older I see that I really cant, and that depresses me to no end. I suppose you could call me a struggling idealist. See you guys around. You can still get a hold of me through IM if you need me.