Author Topic: too afraid to leave the house  (Read 1291 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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too afraid to leave the house
« on: December 31, 2007, 02:47:48 PM »
I'm guessing this isn't normal. It's a problem Ive had since I've left program.

Has anyone else had problems like this? Also, insomnia, nightmares, stomach problems, major deppression.....the list could continue, but I'll stop there
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2007, 05:20:24 PM »
I post here a lot but will respond to this as anon...

Before program I loved to go outside, go places, and meet people.  Now, i pretty much keep to myself and stay inside.  When I meet with friends, they usually come over to my place.  You won't see me around large groups of people (as in more than two or three), and you definitely won't see me in a bar or a club (although i loved to go to these places on occasion before program).  In program, groups of people were usually hostile and confrontational... there was nobody I could trust, and so I learned that the only place I could really be safe was alone.

I used to be confident enough to approach girls and ask em out, but not anymore...  Any type of non-program-approved affection was taboo, so I learned to avoid it to the point where the suppression I learned stuck...  That and the fact that i'm just not quite the same anymore, and anybody i would date would have to be tolerant enough to understand the quirks in me as a result of program.  I know all too well that the way I was taught to interact with people in program was not at all normal.  When I came out of program I felt like I was in culture shock...  I'm sure the solution to solving all this is to just "do it" and go out, but whenever I do i'm too nervous, too anxious, too jittery, and it shows.

Insomnia? yes... Nightmares? used to...  Stomach problems? no...  Depression?  yes, but not that bad (perhaps it's the prozac, or perhaps i'm just used to it).

Some say it's permanant damage, some say it gets better in time, but to answer your question simply... Yes...  Many, if not most, people around here have experienced what you describe to some degree or another.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2007, 07:04:36 PM »
the problem with the 'just do it' solution is after trama you lack the capacity as in your body chemistry changes so that quite ltterally you are incapable of 'just doing it'...a little fear is not so bad, you can push yourself through it but when it causes panic attacks thats PTSD and serious...and yes i am as well afaid of large groups and of going outside...thats part of the damage
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Nihilanthic

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2007, 07:25:18 PM »
Go out with friends to 'quieter' things.. it helps.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Froderik

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2007, 07:42:50 PM »
After the program, I found myself wanting to be outside as much as possible. I'd go out to anyplace I thought was remote enough and read a book or something. After being trapped inside four white walls for so long, I couldn't get enough of outside. But that's just me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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hmmm
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2007, 09:01:01 PM »
Agoraphobia caused by panic disorder?
The program apparently has caused this same problem for many people.

A good book to help with this is the anxiety and phobia workbook.

a fellow sufferer
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline seamus

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2007, 09:53:57 PM »
Im with froddy I STILL spend as much time as possible outside, camping,canoeing,mountain biking,skijoring,dogsledding ETC....I went thru the whole nightmare,post-program thing 20+years ago.....still not a fan of any thing remotely like being locked up......I say to a big extent It'll pass....If you let it, keep reminding yourself,that the program doesnt own you,you do,If you were to let those sons-a-bitches keep fucking you up,THEY win,If not YOU win.......I reject the notion of DEAD-INSANE-IN JAIL,and refuse to go that route no matter what just to spite the motherfuckers.........so ?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
It\'d be sad if it wernt so funny,It\'d be funny if it wernt so sad

Offline Anonymous

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too afraid to leave the house
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2008, 11:21:53 AM »
yeah im the same way about groups of people since i left hidden lake. i'm Ok in anonymous crowds, like rock concerts or on a crowded street, but parties, clubs, etc. i just cant handle. I cant do more than 3-4 other people in the room...more than that i start getting sketched out, paranoid, and (if in my house) start running around making sure everything is in it's right place. at parties i just stand in the corner, and talk to one  freinds. i'm completely incapable of social interaction beyond a one-on-one level....if i try having a conversation with more than one person i get disoriented. I also dont leave the house much either. I also had depression...anxiety, panic attacks, and nightmares, all sorts of problems. basically when i graduated i picked up where i left off when i get sent away. I got into drugs..some of which just gave me the illusion that i was better (opiates, coke), others actually did help (psychedelics), but it took years to undo all the psychic damage done by my program, and only then was i able to actually work on my real problems. the way i see it...programs just exacerbate problems, they slow down the true development of the individual. It didnt create new problems for me, just made my old problems much much much worse.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »