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Messages - Kerrybear

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Mission Mountain School / Sex and MMS
« on: August 10, 2006, 02:44:45 PM »
Thanks for the support.  And to make it clear, I think MMS was hell.  I was badly treated like all of you and I hated the place.

Mission Mountain School / Lemonade
« on: August 07, 2006, 05:32:15 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""

I believe you meant grammar. I am glad you came out of that school stronger. Tina Turner came away from Ike with some strength once she recovered from the damage. That is one way to look at it.

Maybe I will go cruise the domestic violence courts and turn in my man for one who is going to ' make me strong'.

Dear Anonymous Guest,

Thanks for the spelling correction.  
I believe that the difference lies in the fact that we never CHOSE MMS.
I was sent there, against my will.  
So now that the experience is over, and I cannot change it, I choose to look at it as part of my past.  AND ACCEPT IT.  Not accepting that how I was treated was right, but just accepting that it happened.  I think I would be different if ANY of my past was changed, maybe for better, maybe for worse.
I was not out "cruising" the theraputic boarding schools to see where I could find someone to treat me badly.  But since I was put into the situation, OBVIOUSLY MISTREATED, and now grown up, I can say with integrity that going through that hard time has been a continuing education into my adult years.  Not that I asked for it.
I still think about MMS and cry.  I still have so many painful memories. I'm sure lots of you out there do too. And I hope you know that by sharing my personal story and opinion, I am not attacking yours.
I try to be an empathetic person.  I try not to nitpick but to understand where others are coming from.  Even when I disagree.  
I would appreciate that if you have a future comment for me, that you act respectfully and are no longer condescending. Thanks.
I'm making lemonade out of my lemons.

Mission Mountain School / subjective issues
« on: August 05, 2006, 03:02:13 PM »
To the Guest who asked "Is abuse a subjective issue?"
Yes I think it is.
If you are living in a hut, in a third world country, some of the things that make up your daily life would be considered unsanitary, unfit for people by American standards.
I can tell you that I grew up in a house with parents that loved me and used spanking as a form of punishment.  I don't consider that abuse but some people would.  My parents love me, support me and provided me with a base to gain some self esteem.  I chose to ignore them and push them away.
Some people are in families that do not love and support.  The people who are supposed to be the protectors and caregivers turn on them and treat them badly.  I believe that it is possible to be abused later on and not even realize it because it is better than what you came from. Perhaps, like in the case of mms, what we would consider abusive, some consider helpful.
I do not think that the staff intentionally abused the students.  But depending on where you came from, it could be interpreted differently.
And for the guest who doesn't like my spelling, I'm fucking lucky I graduated from college after MMS.  I'm proud of my accomplishments.  So spelling and grammer don't seem as important to me as being a strong, opinionated, EDUCATED woman. Thanks for the input though.

Mission Mountain School / Targeting each other...
« on: August 05, 2006, 02:50:38 PM »
When did this forum become a place to analyze specifically Betsy??
We all went there.  It was different for all of us.  Having gone there when Betsy was a student, I can honestly say that from hearing where she came from, MMS was probably a better place for her.  With the support that she needed.
Aside from Betsy, I myself did not have a good experience with mms.  I thought that the staff were abusive and cruel.  I had more bad with certain staff and good memories from others.  Overall, my experience has made me who I am today.  That is the one good thing about that time in my life.

I agree that this forum is a good place to vent.  I think unfairly targeting someone just because of their opinion is childish.  Kind of reminds me of MMS.
Though I have my own opinions about MMS, I would hope that since we have all been there, that should be something that links us, not divides us.  We all had some type of trauma or difficult childhoods.  Adolecence for us was not easy.  All of our parents thought this was the best place for us.  And now it is part of ALL of our pasts.  
The best place to direct any residual anger would be towards the people who ran the school, not towards each other.
And for me and Betsy, this was over ten years ago.  We have all grown up and on since then.  Obviously it was a huge part of our lives, but let's accept it and talk about it and support each other people!!!

Mission Mountain School / Guest (last post)
« on: July 30, 2006, 06:02:14 AM »
Guest please chill out everyone is ENTITLED to an opinion.  It is your respose is immature.  To attack someone just because they believe something that you don't, even though they understand and have empathy for the way you feel, AND on top of that she is strong enough to say it and keep saying it.
No need to go on the attack, we will all still read what you write even if you calm down. :o

Mission Mountain School / meds and mms
« on: July 24, 2006, 01:54:56 PM »
I was on several different meds while at mms.  They tried anti anxiety, anti depression, everything like that.  I remember other girls being on wellbutrin or prozac.  We went to missoula to a dr there, but I only remember going twice.  I DO remember girls having birth control prescribed to them, which I thought was weird in an all girls school.  I was told it was to regulate their cycles. (After MMS I was so thin I didn't menstrate for about 3 months.)

On the other topic of sex, I was still promiscous after leaving all of the programs I went to.  I think now I have issues around my sexuality, but I don't think I blame it on John's therapy techniques.  I didn't have an extensive sexual history before mms, but I was told to write one.  When I did, I was told it was too short and I wasn't being honest.  So I wrote that I had slept with a lot of men, which wasn't true at the time.  I guess I think that all women at one point in their lives have sexual issues and abuse.  John's therapy doesn't strike me as ethical or valid, but I don't blame mms for issues around my own sexuality.

Mission Mountain School / sex and staff
« on: July 11, 2006, 11:45:00 AM »
To Kerry
Thank you for writing that.  It mirrors alot of my experiences at mms.  I appreciate hearing your story because now I know that we were misstreated.  Perhaps not textbook abuse, but I still get pretty emotional when I think about that place.  Just glad I didn't have to stay long...
The other Kerry

Mission Mountain School / 94
« on: July 11, 2006, 11:31:00 AM »
Hi everyone!
I was at MMS from june of 94 to christmas eve of 94.  Although I was there a short time, MMS has had huge effects on my life.  I'm not a huge supporter of the school but I understand that it was the right place for some girls, just not me.  
I would like to know how you all are doing...Mostly I was on work crew while I was there but I remember a lot of you still.
Kerry K.

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