Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - MommaDebi

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7
46
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Legal Redress...
« on: August 16, 2002, 04:34:00 PM »
There is actually a board on Yahoo where people are in support of the program??
I am deeply shocked. I will have to seek it out and see what i can do...LOL  :smile:
debi

47
The Seed Discussion Forum / Hello everybody !!!!!!!!!!
« on: August 16, 2002, 04:24:00 PM »
Yes i agree.It is truly a small world.
This site has given me comfort in knowing that I was not alone with my feelings about the emotional abuse that took place in there.
Welcome,
debi

48
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / help me - brother in AARC
« on: August 15, 2002, 07:31:00 PM »
Best of Luck to you.

I think the very best you can do now is be there when he needs you.Anybody that does not follow the party line is considered dangerous and your family may choose to separate from you if you continue to question their decision.

 Following his incarceration in this program, he will have many issues to deal with and you can help validate his feelings.

Best wishes, debi

49
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / The Tampa Screw-Up
« on: August 15, 2002, 07:22:00 PM »
I was in that same building for my incarceration in the "Seed" Straight's parent program. Got damn hot in there....didn't it?
I went by there the other day when I was in St Pete, felt sorta strange to sit outside it and remember those "physical" exercises, those horrible canned meat sandwiches, or pimento loaf ones...
To this day I have never made my son drink KoolAid (he's 18 now :smile: lol)
debi
can't wait for part two...

50
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Legal Redress...
« on: August 15, 2002, 07:15:00 PM »
You are not alone in your feelings about the group experience! :smile:
Personally, although I would like to see them take to task for the damage they did to so many young people, I do believe that they will ultimately pay the price... :smile:
debi

51
The Seed Discussion Forum / The seed tears apart families
« on: August 15, 2002, 07:09:00 PM »
welcome...  :smile:
debi

52
The Seed Discussion Forum / THE SEED SUCKS
« on: August 15, 2002, 07:06:00 PM »
Welcome to the board,

I too was in the st Pete Seed, and learned to play the game once I "Graduated".



Congrats on your wedded bliss! :smile: Grandchildren too!! (envious me) My step children are old enough for children,my son is still too young! Those grandkids are only a twinkle in my eye! LOL

debi

_________________
"...every five years I look back on my life and have a good laugh..." {Indigo Girls~~ "The Watershed"}

[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-08-15 16:06 ]

53
The Seed Discussion Forum / Singing in the Orange Bowl
« on: August 15, 2002, 06:58:00 PM »
Wow.
For some strange reason I just remembered us all being bussed down to Ft Lauderdale to sing in the Orange Bowl. I remember I stayed with a family just outside of Lauderdale.

But much of my memory is gone.For some reason we were there, I think, to sing "American the beautiful" and the "Seed indeed"...is that what we did?

Is there anybody out there that took part in this "Orange Bowl" experience with me? Do you have any details?

I have blanked much of this time in my life, but this board had helped some of it to surface. Thanks to everybody! :smile:
debi

54
The Seed Discussion Forum / Actual Lakewood student comments about the Seed
« on: August 08, 2002, 10:49:00 PM »
How strange it was for me to see the picture again.... I had forgotten what the T-shirts looked like even though I remember hating to wear them.
Thanks so much for posting this.:smile:
 debi

55
The Seed Discussion Forum / The seed tears apart families
« on: August 07, 2002, 04:21:00 PM »
Isn't it strange that in the name of "love","saving the children" and "family harmony" our parents made the decision to place their children in such an emotionally abusive situation???

I believe that this decision harmed many families, in ways that are common to us all. Many parents lost any trust and respect that they might have earned as the child matured.
 
I, myself, did not see my mother for about 10 years following my release. I still do not trust her,as everytime I give her the "benefit of the doubt" she ends up screwing me again. So currently I just stay clear of her. It constantly amazes me that my son still likes me! Seems much more normal to me that children grow up and do not want to be around their families, because that is how I grew up. I have waiting for him to decide he does not like me since he was 13.... :smile:

Many siblings lost the ability to bond with each other as adults.I am happy to hear that at least your sister is willing to go through the difficult process required to rebuild your relationship.

You said"The past several years has seen us grow to understand each other even more, but we were both robbed of each other when each other was all we had. The program wrecks families, and that truly sucks."
 I think somehow the Seed wins...if the damage done to our families is not repaired. I don't want the Seed to beat me any longer.

56
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Caught In The Middle
« on: August 05, 2002, 01:09:00 PM »
OPPS~~ forgot to log in.LOL
I wrote the last post!
debi

[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-08-05 10:12 ]

57
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Caught In The Middle
« on: August 05, 2002, 02:58:00 AM »
"My father and stepmother never showed the slightest interest in my schoolwork, plans for the future or anything. I never once saw a dentist since coming home on second phase. What the hell WAS I to them? I am 39 years old and I still don't understand why my dad even bothered getting me to come live with him."

I am 43 years old and have often felt the same way.
I came home evey day after school, vacumed, set table, started dinner in oven, went to work came home, did the dinner's dishes, did homework and went to bed. Even though I had 2 younger siblings in home. My sterpsister was only 2 years younger, and my brother only 1 year younger.But they had NO Chores!!

I had just moved in with my father right before I turned 13, in the Seed before I turned 14 and at work as soon as program "allowed" me to have the "priviledge". I also got to pay rent $25/week (in '74 it was a lot of my paycheck)
:smile:

58
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / who is still sober
« on: July 31, 2002, 02:22:00 PM »
Truly well spoken Ginger! LOL!

I myself have been sober for about 20 years. Had some health issues crop up in early 20's and in order to have child became substance free.

I stayed that way simply because I did not want to become the hypocrite my father was. He always told me that when I wanted to smoke pot "let me know & I'll get the best and we will smoke it together"!!

The laugh was truly on me because as soon as he caught me smoking the very next day I became an inmate in the Seed!!

He goes off to college in 3 weeks...who knows what might happen to momma then!! I can dream right?!!

59
The Seed Discussion Forum / seed - deaths - deadly marriage
« on: July 31, 2002, 02:13:00 PM »
CW wrote:"I was physcally, emotionally, sexually abused, I had loaded guns held to my head, I have scars and burns on my body, my heart is broken...Who would want a broken soul anyway?....There is more, but I can't go on right now. Someone talk to me... I have been told since 1975 that I needed to grow up. My older brother told me...his hate for my past was stronger than his love of me and my children. He and his family would never come to marriages, christmas, thanksgiving."


My name is debi white, exseedling '73- late 74 or early 75 (my memory is full of holes about this time in my life).

I read your post and it brought up a lot of my past life. I was in the Seed, St pete as soon as they came to town. Greg tells me that this was in Spring '73, I was 14 and tricked into going for a "Sunday family drive"...we had never gone on one before and thought it was strange, but who was I too argue.

I also ended up in an abusive marriage. I did not think I was worth much. Of course it is understandable that after being told for so long by people that "loved me" that I was nothing without them, I subconsciously believed it.

I am happy that you did find the strength to leave that marriage. You should give yourself more credit for having done that.It took alot of courage. You were a mother protecting her children, and although they may not understand, nor should they at their young ages, they ultimately will know that you did the right thing for them.

The judge gave my exhusband "no visitation" rights to my 3month old son, I felt guilty for a long time. Worried about how my son would feel when he found out.Would he be angry? hate me? defend his father?...many fears about that situation.

Well, he just turned 18 and has been looking for him for about 1 year. I felt as though I should tell him,just in case he does find him. Once I explained the situation ["drugs, violence, physical and mental abuse"]
...without going into too many details. I found him to be understanding and glad that I had sought to save him from a potentially bad situation.

I too stayed alone for many years following my divorce. I was not really alone; I had my son and that was enough for me! lol! I finally met a man after 7 years, dated him for 7 years and now have been married to him for almost 5years. My son & he love each other very much and life is good.

It can and will be that good for you given enough time and healing.

I am sorry that your brother is not supportive. I have had to relinquish some family dreams and remake my family within my group of friends. I know it is not easy, but I am in a safer emotional environment by doing that for myself.

I have learned in life that love is not unconditonal, but rather is acceptance. Acceptance of who a person is, their history, their dreams, their shortcomings and their strengths. My bio family is not able to do that for me...but the family I have gathered makes up for it.

I wish you internal peace and acceptance.
debi

60
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Straight alumni with teens today...your perspectives????
« on: July 30, 2002, 01:14:00 AM »
On the other hand, my stepson was placed in a rehab (the ARC of Bradenton) when he was 17 (now 22) by the courts because of his troubles with the law [he stupidly did a B&E on a dealers house, as it was being watched by cops], his truancy, and his admitted drug and alcohol use. It was a very stressful time for all of us. Still is at times.

 1 1/2 years ago had to pay a dealer almost $8,000 to get him out of trouble.

 I have never lived with this child, although I have dated his father (for 7 years, now married almost 5) from the time he was turning 11.

 I can say that I think I know what happened to him. He was always in the way w/mom & men,she's been married three times to violently abusive men since my husband.

I remember how she would go in her room and lock the door when the son was 14-15 and acting out, hitting the walls, throwing things....did not contact his father until this behavior had been occuring regularily for quite some time. She has always put down his father (he is a recovering addict/alcoholic) telling her son "he was just like him". She let him stay home so much from school in the 8th & 9th grade, because he had a headache,renting him videos and stuff to do while she was at work and him home "sick".

 By the time he was in the rehab he had only enough credits to be considered barely a Sophmore and he was turning 18! Yet she demanded he return to school instead of getting GED and going on to some VoTech class.

She would call me and tell me her troubles and ask what I would do. Yet she never did anything I suggested. Even when he cursed her and said "My life sucks", the phone, the TV, the stereo, the car all stayed in his possesion. I would have made his life suck so he would have known the difference!!LOL.

He used to tell me, when he was 12-13, how his mom said that "smoking pot makes your brain bleed" and other nonsense stuff. So of course, when he did smoke it, and nothing happened, he believed the rest of her warnings were bullshit too.

 I went to him and tried to warn him, tried to get him to "play the game" (ie "wait until you are in the car w/buddies before saying what a bitch your Mom is." you know the basic courtesy and respect game goes along way I think)

I thnk it important to treat kids with courtesy and respect and trust. Praising them for their right choices and discussing the rest of it when they are young, so that they have a strong sense of self when they are older.

 I consciously parented my own son with the intent of doing things very differently than my parents did. I was never good enough, a B on a report card was cause for grounding etc.

 Unforunately,She and I parented very differently and we have very different children at the end of it all.
 Of course now he wants to come live here with his father and I....he's 22, no HS diploma/GED..no focus..and lots of anger.UGH!


Oh well. I am sure we can figure out how to manage that transistion too.

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 7