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Facility Question and Answers / Clint Eastwood Youth Program at Community Hospital Monterey
« on: June 22, 2007, 03:28:31 PM »
Know anything about it?
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The Troubled Teen Industry / Okay Dr. Fornits, please prescribe appropriate help
« on: May 05, 2007, 01:52:59 PM »
Thanks again for the helpful suggestions. Covergaard, Denmark sounds like it is miles ahead of the U.S. in treatment methods. Not surprising.
I don't know how to convince myself that this too shall pass. She's being so stupid I'm not convinced she won't accidentally kill herself before this "phase" might pass. Early this week she was hit by a car while drunk. She only has minor abrasions, but my god, it could have been so much worse. Last night I was called by the community Teen Center to pick her up, she'd been found passed out in a bathroom stall. It was either me or the police to come get her. I'm thinking it may have been more "educational" to have the police come for her. Even her "friends" seem to think she's getting a little out there, she parties to excess even by their standards. Two hours later she's insisting that her boyfriend spend the night, incredulous.
I like the foreign exchange student suggestion, though I worry that her emotional problems would be exacerbated. Currently she's refusing to consider it because *I* suggested it.
We could really use a nice Aunt Sally in Bumfuck, Iowa for her to go live with right about now.
I don't know how to convince myself that this too shall pass. She's being so stupid I'm not convinced she won't accidentally kill herself before this "phase" might pass. Early this week she was hit by a car while drunk. She only has minor abrasions, but my god, it could have been so much worse. Last night I was called by the community Teen Center to pick her up, she'd been found passed out in a bathroom stall. It was either me or the police to come get her. I'm thinking it may have been more "educational" to have the police come for her. Even her "friends" seem to think she's getting a little out there, she parties to excess even by their standards. Two hours later she's insisting that her boyfriend spend the night, incredulous.
I like the foreign exchange student suggestion, though I worry that her emotional problems would be exacerbated. Currently she's refusing to consider it because *I* suggested it.
We could really use a nice Aunt Sally in Bumfuck, Iowa for her to go live with right about now.
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The Troubled Teen Industry / Okay Dr. Fornits, please prescribe appropriate help
« on: April 30, 2007, 02:28:22 PM »
"But if she is on the side of less able to tolerate school and even employment - you might have to make some significant changes in your hopes and dreams and standards."
If a child's reported "problem" with school or doing anything productive is that it isn't "fun" and she'd rather be getting high with her friends, wouldn't the parent be irresponsible for not getting help to see that school/eventual employment/self-suffciency is not a hope and dream, but necessary reality? Life isn't only fun. Of course its too soon to jump to conclusions, but how would a parent be expected "adjust expectations" to enable a child to become a 30 or 40 year old unemployed drug user? What's wrong with searching for help to avoid this possible path?
"This might be more the meds than the illness. The mood stabilizers will stabilize mood all right - with a depression that dose not let up."
I know too many people for whom medications have been a lifesaver. Even my daughter reported them somewhat helpful (not a miraculous change, but no longer suicidal and extremely depressed) when she was taking them regularly. Now that she's not taking them regularly, she's medicating with recreational drugs.
If a child's reported "problem" with school or doing anything productive is that it isn't "fun" and she'd rather be getting high with her friends, wouldn't the parent be irresponsible for not getting help to see that school/eventual employment/self-suffciency is not a hope and dream, but necessary reality? Life isn't only fun. Of course its too soon to jump to conclusions, but how would a parent be expected "adjust expectations" to enable a child to become a 30 or 40 year old unemployed drug user? What's wrong with searching for help to avoid this possible path?
"This might be more the meds than the illness. The mood stabilizers will stabilize mood all right - with a depression that dose not let up."
I know too many people for whom medications have been a lifesaver. Even my daughter reported them somewhat helpful (not a miraculous change, but no longer suicidal and extremely depressed) when she was taking them regularly. Now that she's not taking them regularly, she's medicating with recreational drugs.
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The Troubled Teen Industry / Okay Dr. Fornits, please prescribe appropriate help
« on: April 30, 2007, 01:26:20 PM »
Thank you OrdinaryDad, Deborah, etc. I think the assumption is that I'm openly "freaking out" to my daughter, when really I've got to congratulate myself for remaining pretty calm. How can parents trust that it will get better or that our kids will be able to find their way, especially when there is a personality disorder involved? It was recommended that I "adjust my expectations", but that suggests that I have unreasonable standards. Her responsibility at this point is to get an education (and I've jumped through hoops and allowed her to change schools several times to her current school that is very easy on her) and to be reasonably respectful in our home, especially if she expects the same treatment.
So, she is expected to go to school. I need to know where she is, so if she disappears I know where to start looking. It being 4am and not knowing where your child is or if she is dead from alcohol poisoning or some pervert on the street is not an option. Parents should not be asked to endure that sort of thing. If I were to not be home especially in the middle of the night, I'd have the common courtesy to let my kids know where I am and answer my cell phone.
I should have the right to say who comes into my home. I shouldn't have to be a prisoner in my home, checking that my other children, pets, purse/money is safe when she wants to bring lord knows who into the house.
Because her self-esteem seems to be so low, she tolerates behavior (from her "boyfriend" and friends) and takes risks she shouldn't. It doesn't seem she can be trusted to look out for her own basic safety.
Part of the problem for sure is that she has absolutely no interests and isn't passionate about anything right now. She used to dance, write, played a couple of sports. I like the soup kitchen idea and have also been encouraging her to arrange to keep busy working this summer. So far she's blown me off.
So, she is expected to go to school. I need to know where she is, so if she disappears I know where to start looking. It being 4am and not knowing where your child is or if she is dead from alcohol poisoning or some pervert on the street is not an option. Parents should not be asked to endure that sort of thing. If I were to not be home especially in the middle of the night, I'd have the common courtesy to let my kids know where I am and answer my cell phone.
I should have the right to say who comes into my home. I shouldn't have to be a prisoner in my home, checking that my other children, pets, purse/money is safe when she wants to bring lord knows who into the house.
Because her self-esteem seems to be so low, she tolerates behavior (from her "boyfriend" and friends) and takes risks she shouldn't. It doesn't seem she can be trusted to look out for her own basic safety.
Part of the problem for sure is that she has absolutely no interests and isn't passionate about anything right now. She used to dance, write, played a couple of sports. I like the soup kitchen idea and have also been encouraging her to arrange to keep busy working this summer. So far she's blown me off.
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