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Topics - The Elan Reporter

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Elan School / answer me this artman
« on: June 09, 2007, 07:40:42 AM »
If you despise Ginger and Felice so much, then why the hell do you come here?

I can answer that for you.

You get a paycheck via mail from elan to defend the progam and the evil comrades that run it.

Clearly you don't come here to chat amongst friends. You have none here.

I know artman, draino, blowjobs, blue crystals, row boats that are considered a boat, Such a limited vocabulary you have.

Elan School / Diary of a Mongo-Injun named TCK
« on: May 11, 2007, 07:47:20 AM »
Tribal Chief Kruglic *TCK* is once again on a war path..

TCK has declared Mongo-Indian war with local residents that surround the Elan/Indian Mongoloid compound. TCK who has been noted in the past of trespassing and molesting local farm animals has been recently under the gun for his scrutiny and sad excuse of behavior while working at Elan.
TCK has been in a lull ever since the huge presence of law enforcement trying to resolve the previous incidents of farm animal molestation. Now that everything is once again back to normal and all is quiet, TCK is back at it again.
This time Old man farmer Jed has become the latest victum of molested sheep. Farmer Jed who raises sheep nearby the IMR said that yesterday he noticed 8 of his sheep's behinds were shaven and had a vasoline type resin on them. Farmer Jed believes it is the handy work of one TCK who has a history of molesting farm animals.
There was also some strange writings on his barn wall that appeared to be of Mongo-Injun language which has yet to be translated.
Farmer Jed's youngest son Elliah said it was the Hi-yuh-yuh Man TCK that done this. TCK who is locally known as a child abuser/ farm animal molester is a derranged Mongo-Indian who resides at the IMR compound. His little village inside the IMR has teepees made of young boys underpants and is often spotted dancing around a fire not far from a huge totem pole. Elliah who has said to seen the IMR compound and TCK on numerous occasions actively practicing the fine arts of a Mongo-Injunism was told by his  Father Jed never to go near TCK's IMR compound.
(It's like a bad haven for sick minded people to live in) said Farmer Jed.
The IMR which was not long ago under scrutiny for in 2005 & 2006 has been the subject of attention for local law enforcement but has failed to secure a warrant to enter the compound. TCK has the IMR registered as Indian reservation land which governs itself. TCK who had shamed his tribe in the past was forced to start his own colony and tribe after commiting lewd acts that shamed his tribe.
TCK's former Chief *Big Bear* said that TCK was out of control and was banned for life in being associated with our tribe and TCK can never return. In response to Big Bear TCK told us an incoherent statement which has yet to be translated. ( Me suh Big Bear poppy hole hi-yuh-yuh)

Elan School / Anyone seen A&E's King of cars show yet?
« on: April 12, 2006, 10:36:00 AM »
I watched it for the first time last night, pretty interesting because it shows one how a car sales man life is really like. In the show, it clearly shows how hard a car salesman must work for that commission check. Though their advertising antics are very strange, it was an interesting new show now on A&E. I DVR the series.

Elan School / Look at this fucker?
« on: April 11, 2006, 03:13:00 PM »
Artman just sits on this webpage all day awaiting for my response. What a fuckin lowlife loser you are arthur. Go masterbate to a boys life magizine or something, you sick freak!

Elan School / Be gone Arthur
« on: April 11, 2006, 09:21:00 AM »
Theres no place like AA
Theres no place like AA
Theres no place like AA

Be gone Arthur and let the door hit you in your fat ass on the way out you sick freak!

Elan School / Eliscu2
« on: March 17, 2006, 02:02:00 PM »
Did you get a chance to read my PM's?

Elan School / Why were you sent to Elan ???
« on: March 05, 2006, 07:03:00 PM »
I would like to know why you were sent to elan in the first place. What "wrong turns" in life landed you the displeasure of being sent to Elan?

Truancy was the reason I was sent in the first place. Although Elan saw to it that to have a review of my past and to throw in other excuses which they were famous for.

I had little or no history of drug abuse before going into Elan, yet Elan labled me a person that had a probelm with drugs and or alchol becuase I smoked pot twice when I was 16. Yea, big fuckin deal...

My other peers had a mixed amount of reasons why they landed at Elan. Drugs, alcohol, legal issues, and jail terms were many of the others.

I seen Elan even have a 12 year old sent there and they responsibly held him accountable for adult actions. He was only a kid. The reasons he was there was because he lived with his grand parent and she couldn't control his behavior, and Elan treated him like a adult criminal and abused the hell out of him.

Elan School / Marty + Tatanka
« on: February 23, 2006, 04:40:00 PM »
Living in perfect harmony..

Hi yuh yuh, Hi yuh yuh , Hi yuh yuh yuh.

The man lives for Tatanka and sweat tents, so 19th century.

Elan School / Sat, night shotdowns
« on: February 05, 2006, 08:38:00 AM »
I remember when the shotdowns lost their movie privs and had to GI whent he house was watching a movie. The dining room would be transformed into a lake. We would dump buckets, and buckets of water and soap and run across the floor and slide all over.
Funny thing was, the staff allowed it, I mena we are talking about 1-2 inches of soap and water poured on the floor. I can only imagine how much structural rot had occured becuase of this. The water would flow down the air vents and the staff just didnt give a shit.
In the outcome, the floor would come out so clean looking.

Elan School / So much for the peace and quiet
« on: February 04, 2006, 04:27:00 PM »
Seems like Artie is at it again folks, I guess he got bored with all the positive negative talk we discussed about Elan the past two days. Also think he is upset because Jimmy,Dianne, and myself got along just find.

Oh and here is a threatening PM I received today from Artie.


Posts: 884
 Posted: 2006-02-04 09:37  
 I need to have zero dialogue with you
it is not a level playing field...I may not be right all the time.. But your whacked.
Another private email and you wont like the outcome... Info forthcoming....
Still think Artie doesnt start trouble here?

The guy is a basket case, he will not allow this board to commence with constructive conversations, therefore will stop at nothing in starting up an argument. I have held back these last 2 days and ceased all argumentive actions against him, I have participated in conversations with people I had argued with in the past and  have gotten along with them very well.

This is evident that Art is the problem here, as I pointed out awhile ago. Now I ask you one more time, go back 2 days and read every post. You will find right after Syn requested nobody to argue for one day everyone with the exception of Art, who was mysteriously absent got along.

As of right now, I have come to a conclusion that Art is upset and jealous of me because I am talking with Jimmy and Dianne and getting along with both of them. Art does not want this to happen. Art wants this board back to what it was with me Arguing with him and Jimmy coming to his aid.

This is how I see it, I welcome all opinions except Arts.

Brought to you by The Elan Reporter, the only reliable source for all your up to date Elan happenings.

Author of: "The Way of the Kruglik"
I'm back!!!!!!!!!![ This Message was edited by: The Elan Reporter on 2006-02-04 13:41 ]

Elan School / Jimmy ?
« on: February 02, 2006, 01:33:00 PM »
Who were your directors during your time?

Elan School / Clare Woodmans kids
« on: February 02, 2006, 09:05:00 AM »
I read awhile back that Clare sent both of her kids through Elan, was curious if they received the same mental abuse or were treated differently because they were related to Clare?

Anyone know what years they went through Elan?

Elan School / The small office above the kitchen
« on: February 01, 2006, 09:00:00 AM »
Let us not forget what use to take place up there. Sex, Sex, and more Sex. I heard once a staff at Elan knocked up some resident girl. Marty also went up there from time to time with a stray cat under his arm.

You could hear, " hi yuh yuh yuh, meow! meow! hi yuh yuh yuh" coming behind the closed locked door.

Me suh scalp kitty, me suh also get pussy, hi yuh yuh yuh, hi yuh yuh yuh.

Elan School / Arthurmatics & Arthurtiple choices 101
« on: January 30, 2006, 09:24:00 AM »
Arthur goes into Jimmy how many times folks?

The answer is 100. :lol:

Arthur is the sq root of what?

The answer is drunken retardation. :lol:

How many invisible friends does it make Arthur to raise his self esteem?

The answer is 6. :lol:

How many cum shots in the mouth does Arthur need to satisfy him?

The answer is 7. :lol:


Which of the following best describes Arthur?

A) Drunk

B) Stupid

C) Failed 12 stepper

D) Cum guzzler

E) All of the above.

The answer is "E", all of the above. :lol:

Which of the following is Arthur least willing to acknowledge.

A) A women

B) An education

C) Sobriety

D) Taking a bath

E) All of the above.

The answer is " E", all of the above. :lol:

Which of the following is most likely to sniff more assholes?

A) A dog

B) A cat

C) Arthur

D) A goat

The answer is  "C", Arthur. :lol:

Elan School / New message board
« on: January 24, 2006, 11:34:00 AM »
I have created a new elan message board for all to join. Naturally it will contain the dark humor of which myself and the assistant like to post. It also contains a more serious side which allows users to talk about their experiences without the dark humor. Everyone is welcome to join. ... anreporter

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