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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Anyone remember these?  The chance for 5th phasers to apply their awareness to the group to determine who wasn't doing well, who looked guilty, who was a candidate for splitting...

85DJ I?m with you on this one.  I have posted several names on this site hoping to hear that they are okay and doing well.  Then there are other names I?ve posted hoping to hear they are rotting somewhere, e.g. Miller Newton and William Rollins.  The tenet I have followed when it comes to posting names is this- I shouldn?t post other names unless I am willing to put my name out there and I have- George Duncan, St Pete & Atlanta ?80-?82.  

Also, I agree with Sophie?s remark, ?Not all staff members were demon spawn??  Dave McAdams is a good example. He didn?t have the staff mind fuck like the others.  He was (and hope he still is) a compassionate person and I hope he is doing well.

Hi Margaret,

Welcome to the board.  I was in St Pete '80-'81 before shipping off to Atlanta when the program branched out.  Your name sounds kind of familiar and I think you were on a higher phase when I began my unfortunate incarceration.  It's amazing some of the things you'll remember when you start reading some of the posts.

The occasional dream pops up and it's the same one- I'm still on first phase trying to go home or fifth phase trying to graduate.  I feel helpless in the dream because I've been on the phase for 24 years (that's how long ago I was admitted) and I keep wondering what do I have to do to move on...It's always a relief to wake up and realize that I have moved on.

Reading the posts about p'nut butter reminded me of the dreaded "swimmers" served in the Morgan Yacht Building.  They were frozen PBJ sandwiches served on open meeting nights and they were NASTY! ::puke::

One recurring daydream involved palmetto bushes.  I remember when the program moved to Frontage Rd off Gandy the building was surrounded by palmetto bushes and there were days when the doors were opened in an attempt to cool us off but all it did was blow around hot air.  Anyway, I remember sitting there, looking out upon that vast seas of bushes and wondered where they would lead if I split.  My dream was that they would lead me to the beach then I could make my way up the gulf coast.  

Another daydream involved certain staff members- their arrogance was disgusting!  I would sit in my seat and listen to them lead a rap and imagined how good it would feel to beat the arrogant crap out of them.  Oh, I really loved those daydreams.

Yes, I remember.  This is what I had to say about it in a post dated 6-24-03:

RSC: Rational Self Counseling or Rationalized Straight Crap?

I was going through some files the other day and came across the RBT Self Acceptance Script we were given in the early ?80?s when we started the RSC sessions. It?s interesting to read after all these years.

The opening line, ?I am a person with human dignity?. What a novel concept. It?s a shame that Straight forgot this notion.

Or how about this, ?Many times things happen that I don?t like. I will accept this by remembering that I can not control everything.? Well, this wasn?t exactly comforting when I was put on a third phase refresher for things I did not do.

Who can forget this, ??I can calmly remember that I have a choice.? Let?s be honest, did we really have choices?

And my personal favorite, ?Sometimes I make mistakes; this doesn?t mean I?m bad or wrong?No one knows everything.? How many times did egomaniacal staffers who thought they knew it all berate us for mistakes we made? Oh my God, Straight was cultivating mini Millers! I have this Austin Powersesque vision of Miller Newton- he?s sitting at his desk, he?s diabolically plotting and planning and he has a demented vision of what therapy should be and he says, ?I will call them mini me??

So, what did I learn from RSC? How to rationalize some of my irrational behavior. Well, I could go on, but I won?t. So, here it is in its entirety:

RBT Self Acceptance Script

I am a person with human dignity. What I do does not change me. Sometimes I make mistakes, and sometimes I do things very well, but I?m the same person.

I will continue to make some mistakes throughout my life because I?m not perfect: I am a fallible human being. However, because I?m a person, I also have the ability to learn. I can work on mistakes and learn to do what is necessary to change them. I can strive to ?do? better; I can not ?be? better. I already am a human being.

Past is in the past. I cannot change that. I regret some things I?ve done. I don?t like some things that have happened but I can?t change the past by staying upset and worried. I can?t guarantee the future by being worried either. I can change my feelings right now. I?m probably going to handle situations better if I?m calmer and more clearheaded. I am remembering that I am in control of my feelings. I control myself. I can?t always control the situation. Many times things happen that I don?t like. I will accept this by remembering that I can not control everything. If I don?t like it, I can do my best to do something about it, if I want to. If I don?t want to, I can calmly remember that I have a choice.

Other people control their decisions about their behavior. I am not responsible for what other people think, feel or do. I want to do my best to help others but their behavior is in their control. They decide what they do.

I do what I do because I can only act in light of my own experience, my own learning, and my own attitudes. Sometimes I make mistakes; this doesn?t mean I?m bad or wrong. Mistakes mean I don?t know everything. No one knows everything. I am a human being who has the ability to learn from my mistakes.

What people think or do cannot make me less of a person. I am me and no one can change me. I will continue to do things I do and make the mistakes I make until I change. I want to begin to change right now. I am accepting myself by remembering I am a fallible human being, just as good, just as worthwhile as other people.

Sometimes people do what I?m not expecting them to do. Sometimes it seems as if they don?t care. This is my interpretation of their behavior and I could be mistaken. However, even if it were true that some people are inconsiderate of me, and don?t really care about how I feel, I still do not have to get so upset about it.

Other people have a right to do what they do, and to think what they think. They do not have to care about me in order for me to be calm or even happy. Other people?s thought do not control or define my feelings; other people?s actions do not control or define my feelings.

I am a person with human dignity no matter what other people think of me. Even if they don?t think of me the way I would like, I can stand it. I don?t need the approval or caring of others in order to feel good about myself. I am the most important person in my life because I control my life.

I control my thoughts, feelings and behavior. I feel good about the things I do well and regret some things I don?t do well. I accept all those behaviors and myself.

I feel calm about myself; I feel acceptable to myself; I feel good about accepting myself.

What I remember about watching Midnight Express was the affect it was supposed to have on us.  We were supposed to watch the movie and be appreciative that we were in Straight and not in some Turkish prison.  Afterwards, someone always stood up to share their feelings about being in jail or another rehab, etc.   I called these ?cop out raps? because staff didn?t have to do anything.  All they had to do was ask, ?So how did that make you feel??  They call on some people, a few tears are shed, then they tell us how that could be us if we weren?t in the program and that was the end of rap.

Wasn?t there a scene where the girlfriend came to visit and presses her breast against the glass?  We didn?t see that scene!  It?s probably a good thing we didn?t because there would have been at least a dozen guys who would want to talk about themselves during lunch.  You know?they watched the movie, started having fantasies, did the deed and now they feel guilty.  Of course, contestant #1 stands up and gets ripped to shreds by the group then any guy that thought about wanting to talk quickly changed his mind and went back to eating his crap du jour.  The only other movie I can remember seeing was a Disney movie- The Apple Dumpling Gang.