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Messages - Rachael

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 24
16
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: Dealing With Shame
« on: March 02, 2008, 08:54:50 PM »
I can relate to that.....


Thank you, thank you, thank you. I needed that just now.

17
Feed Your Head / Re: Skating the Deadscort Bump
« on: January 24, 2008, 12:54:59 AM »
Yes. Downhill - fast. Very fast.

Learning some freestyle/slide stuff too, working on a nose manual on this 5' board. It's niiiiiiice.

Rachael

18
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / okay,
« on: December 30, 2007, 03:50:31 AM »
FINE = Fucked-up, Insane, Neurotic and Emotional

19
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / A Challenge
« on: December 29, 2007, 01:28:44 AM »
Well.... it's no secret that the Gookin is in South Korea at the moment.

20
The Troubled Teen Industry / Adora Grae Stout
« on: December 28, 2007, 05:41:30 PM »
Quote
A second item to consider (and not seen mentioned by established news media) is the fact that homosexuals are often employeed as "social workers" operating with no civil liability incurred by the breaking up natural families with a mother and father and later placing these foster children with single parents in Tennessee.
 


WTF?!?!?!?!

21
J'ai oublié de le mentionner, mais je suis capable de le faire aux deux langues officielles aussi :)

22
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Program tactics
« on: December 27, 2007, 05:20:07 PM »
Well..... As of when I was there five years ago (almost five years exactly from the day I ran), nothing had changed. She was just stating simple facts. Do you disagree? Like she said, are newcomers now allowed to wear makeup, hair products, and choose their own clothing?

23
The Troubled Teen Industry / Rebelling against your parents
« on: December 25, 2007, 01:19:41 AM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
Racheal, are you close to your siblings, now? I know you wrote that they were turned against your somewhat....that (breifly, at least,) they looked at you with disgust.


Interesting. I don't believe I ever did say that. If my sisters ever did "look at me with disgust" it was not because of anything I did. Perhaps if certain staff made shit up about me.....

But currently, we all get along pretty well. Now that I'm fairly certain they can all take care of themselves and my mother isn't going to dump any of them in another program, I've pulled back a lot. It is far healthier for me to not communicate with my mother, and sadly it's very difficult for me to have a relationship with my sisters and manage to guard myself from her. But I love them all dearly and can only hope they never have to understand what it is that I went through. And I will remain within striking distance till I am certain that they are out of harm's way (ie. 18).


Rachael

24
The Troubled Teen Industry / Rebelling against your parents
« on: December 24, 2007, 01:10:22 PM »
Sorry, short answer: Canada is very different. No such thing up here as getting charged for running away.

25
The Troubled Teen Industry / Rebelling against your parents
« on: December 24, 2007, 01:08:47 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""

But, couldn't they put you away simply for running? Is canada different than the US?


No, it blew me away when I first heard that you could get arrested for running away. Running away from home is a pretty good indication that something is wrong and it makes no freaking sense to punish a kid who just needs help of some sort.

When my mother put my sister in a program in Washington (at least it was better than AARC), she decided to leave after about two weeks. They said they would let her leave but would call the police to have her arrested for running away - I hadn't even known that was possible. I ended up convincing my mother to fly her home, but still... scared me even just the idea - not that charges would have had any bearing up in Canada.

26
Open Free for All / NILEs CONTROL YER WIMMEN!
« on: December 21, 2007, 12:08:45 AM »
What the hell is a pneumanic??? Someone who's crazy about inflated things?

27
The Troubled Teen Industry / What helped you most to recover after program?
« on: December 20, 2007, 04:46:07 PM »
Quote from: ""Guest""
By the way--its not that the Moms are all soft going for the crying shit.

No, mine was hardened cold.

That's what happens when you party instead of parent and then all the sudden your kid is a teenager with problems and you don't have the skills or resilience  to deal with them. You resent them because they aren't making your life easy, and you are all too happy to stick 'em where you can't see 'em. Au revoir, my sweet child. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

She believed what they told her 'cause she wanted to.

I forgive her now, because I'm charge of finding her a nice nursing home.

ha ha (just kidding. I think.)


Yeah.... my mother was in no way "soft for the crying shit". She too was cold, hard and calculatedly making her decisions. I just think it's a lot easier for mothers to choose that role if it suits their purposes. I really at this point lean towards the theory that some parents are simply malicious and malevolent towards their children - and that mothers more frequently choose this kind of subtle fucking over of their kids than more overt and "masculine" forms of abuse.

28
The Troubled Teen Industry / Rebelling against your parents
« on: December 20, 2007, 03:14:05 PM »
I ran when I was 16. Within 3 hours of running I was on a bus to Ontario to my father's house. I lived with him for less than a year and then with the help of a restraining order and a police escort moved out on my own. My dad is/was very volatile and can be very physically violent, but it was by far preferable to AARC or even living with my mother. I'd take my dad's meltdowns any day over my mother's mindfuckery. Anyway, living at my dad's out on this farm in Southern Ontario I had to walk over an hour and a half to get to the bus stop every morning for school and that was on the days that my dad decided to let me go.

The final straw was when he left with no notice for over two weeks to go gambling in the States with his girlfriend. It was the dead of winter in one of the coldest years in recent history in Ontario. He left no money and no food in the house. The electricity was shut off while he was away and all the water and heat were electric. So I built this nest around this old wood stove, hauled wood for three hours after school every day, boiled snow for water, and used the glow of the fire to do my homework.

At school I would linger in the cafeteria at the end of lunch hour and steal the leftovers from other kids lunches. I decided after about two weeks that it was easier to be on my own - and not living in constant fear of my dad finding some reason to hurt me. So I moved out into a tiny hole of an apartment abotu two minutes walk from my school. I had almost no money, but got $525 per month from the government. As part of the agreement with the Ontario government, you can't work while receiving social assistance, but my rent was $550/month and then I had food, school fees, bus tickets, and everything else you need to survive. I tutored high school students (and eventually university students as well) to make up the difference. Somehow I never had enough left over after school fees for food.

I worked my ass off and aced almost every course at school. Running lit this fire in me - the motivation to stay up all night and write essays, to work 7 days a week, to keep myself absolutely spotless till I was at least 18 - so that no one ever could put me away again. Still haven't lost that.

29
Benchmark Young Adult School / Benchmark Transitions / psy
« on: December 20, 2007, 01:53:26 AM »
Quote from: ""Ursus""
Were I this kid, and I'm not even going to go into how close I came to being in his shoes, I would very much appreciate the memorial.


Ditto.

30
The Troubled Teen Industry / Need Help With Seasons Greetings Raids.
« on: December 19, 2007, 07:23:57 PM »
Quote from: ""Che Gookin""
Not to my knowledge. You might have to organize and lead one yourself.


I do believe I might - you've inspired me greatly. No joke.

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