This is for Waggytail_lickydog,
I understand exactly how u feel. It's hard to find people in our situation (or those who have ever felt the way we have during and after our experiences at Mission Mountain.) Especially for someone like you, whos left MMS more-recently. After leaving MMS, the best thing I could do for myself was use the good & bad "learning experiences" as tools to make my life the way I wanted it to be. (I tried to ignoring all MMS lessons that were bad.) One of the amazing things about our 2+/- years at MMS is we come back with a fresh start. It took me some time, but finally I established small goals & standards (and boundaries) for my family, school, work, and relationships. Then, to the best of my ability, I set-up my life routine to lead towards those goals. For months after leaving MMS, I felt like an emotional rollercoaster. I went to the extreme of feeling weird & worthless, to enlightened & powerful. I avoided putting myself in situations where I felt bad about myself. I had my share of mistakes (& major mistakes) which only contributed to me feeling like a bad person. If I learned from mistakes then I took the outcomes and lessons and forgot the rest.
When I was at my lowest points I tried not to analyze everything around me or everything I learned from MMS. I slowed down and did the basics in life. I excersized, engaged myself in simple pleasures, and organized the things around that I could control. That worked for me, but won't necessarily work for others.
As I am re-reading this I made it sound so easy. My no-means was it easy. I am only pointing out the simple things that worked. If you ever want to chat, let me know. I would be more than happy to give you my contact info.
:smile: