The "pitch" would be interesting:
NO, we don't really abuse kids!
NO, we don't really parade around in front of kids in our sacred undergarments!
NO, we don't withhold food as punishment!
NO, Cherly never really cusses, spits on, slaps,
orders other kids to beat kids, punches, screams at, or runs Group Therapy without a license!
No, we have never failed a HEALTH, or FIRE Inspection!
No, we don't have plumbing that doensn't work!
No, we have NEVER abuse ANY animals at all!
No, Mark and Cheryl never watch will gangs of our kids beat up on one little boy!
No, Cheryl does not take "drugs" and rave all night at her "MARATHON GROUP SESSSIONS" never!
No, Mark never handcuffs kids!
No, Mark never peeks on or touches the little girls inappropriately, never!
No, we never make the kids write false police reports---NEVER!
No, Cheryl never looses control in public to the point the police have to be called!
No,we don't sanction sexual activity between out students---we are a FAMILY!
No, we aren't a CULT....we are a FAMILY!
No, we don't monitor any correspondence or phone calls to parents...we just SUPERVISE THEM!
No, we don't forge transcrits!
We just love all children, and are a FAMILY!
Send us lots and lots of children.