Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Troubled Teen Industry
MONTANA ACADEMY, MONTANA
Anonymous:
Okay, the big thing I noticed, and why I agree that Joyce is an idiot, is that her child is *not* back yet and she's talking about how wonderful this place has been for her child?
Fact is, she *doesn't know that yet.*
She has no idea what is going to happen when her child gets home, she has no idea if her child will even be willing to speak to her in five years, she has no idea whether her child, five years down the road will say, "Mom, you lucked out, it was one of the not-so-bad places," or "Mom--Joyce--you're an idiot and I've been traumatized for life."
If your child is still at the facility, you don't know if your decision was a good one or a bad one. You just know you got your PITA kid out of your house in a way that lets you escape feeling guilty and feel like you're "helping" instead of paying through the nose to incarcerate your child so he'll be somewhere--anywhere--else. So *you're* happy about it. But what it has or hasn't done to or for your child? Until he's been out five years, the jury is still out.
And that's what makes me call Joyce an idiot. She thinks that because *she* is happy and her kid is telling her what she wants to hear and the facility is telling her what she wants to hear and is displaying her child (who may be okay or may be a puppet on strings) in a way she wants to see, that her kid is doing wonderfully well.
She found a way to get rid a kid that was driving her nuts and feel like a "good mom" about it and not feel guilty. Of course she's happy.
I don't know if this place is good or terrible.
Some people, even kids, genuinely need residential treatment. Some people, even kids, genuinely deserve incarceration and the community needs to be protected from them.
But all those things aside, you never can know if your choice of facility---even if your kid *does* need to be there (and too many that are sent *don't*)---until five years after the kid leaves.
Giving this place rave reviews before she can possibly know one way or the other is what displays that Joyce is an idiot.
Timoclea
Anonymous:
Oh, sorry---make that, "...can never know if your choice of facility was good or bad..."
T.
spots:
Joyce, you're an idiot...and it make me so sad.
Our grandaughter spent a year or so in a behavior modification facility in 2003, and I can assure you that Montana Academy fits the profile of ANY BM facility or therapeutic school or residential school or....whatever...
When our kid was sent away by her mother (our daughter), we tried everything in our power to convince the mother that this was a Very Bad Thing. The mother, however, had reasons in her own life that made getting rid of her daughter and letting others "fix" her a relief and a convenience. We tried explantations (armed with copious survivors' reports), coercion, nagging, alternatives (living with us), but this mother took the easy road and swallowed the cult doctrine.
What has come to pass is the quintessential life story of behavior modification survivors. She now lives with us and goes to high school hundreds of miles from her mother. She calls home rarely, every 2 or 3 weeks, and has nothing in common to talk about, so those conversations are stilted. She cannot share the small wonders of a boy flirting with her in class, or the thrill of driving alone the 40 miles to the mall, or the pride of an aced test.
She hates her mother for abandoning her. She loves her mother for being her mother, but is drifting away, and will never have the parent relationship every child should have. She also lost her only sister, who has stayed with her mother. She has us, her cousins, her aunts and uncles, and a huge circle of teen friends. But she has lost forever the mother who sent her away to hell in order to get some breathing room while the daughter was growing up.
Joyce, you may think that your daughter is a "changed" person, and she is. I can guarantee, however, that in the coming years, your actions will turn on you and leave you without the precious gift of your child. You may not see it this month, or even this year, but eventually, you will discover the irrepairable harm you have wrought. For that, I am sad for you.
This child will be the one to select your nursing home when you are old. Are you comfortable with the selection you made for her when she was young?
Anonymous:
It's surprising to me to read the responses my posting generated. Do I know what my daughter will be like in 5 years? No, and neither do you.
What I do know, is that my daughter is alive right now, and sees a future for herself unlike some of her old "friends".
Making an assumption that I "put" my daughter in this school to make my life easier seems to fit into your stereotype of the "I don't want to deal with it" parent. You don't know me, or my situation. Along with that I am an "idiot", because I don't buy into the theory that all emotional growth boarding schools are brain washing abuse centers. So it seems that my opinion has no merit, because my daughter has not yet "escaped" the clutches of the Monarch School. Give me a break. Who sounds like the "brainwashed" one now?
It seems that because you have had a bad experience, then all emotional growth boarding schools are bad. If you have had first hand knowledge of abuse/ problems with The Monarch School, then speak up. But please don't paint all schools with the same brush.
Time will tell if I made the right decision. But for right now, I'm happy that my daughter is alive and happy to ponder that.
Joyce Kelly
granny19:
Beautifully said, Spots! You are in the same boat as I am, except of course, that your granddaughter is out and my precious one is still incarcerated. Not a moment goes by that I am not worried sick about her. Of course, I am not allowed to communicate with her in any way, nor is her other gramma, her cousins, aunts uncles or friends. Anyway you look at it, this is not therapy, it's punishment administered by strangers for profit. I think everyone should ask these questions; if these programs are so highly principled and dedicated to helping children, how can they justify such obscene profits? Why is it that they spend million of dollars lobbying against governmental regulation and oversight? Why are the overwhelming majority located in remote areas, in states and other countries with with lax or non-existent child protective laws?
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