Lesson from RTCs

[Timoclea]

The big life lesson for teens about RTCs is that if you run away from home, you'd better make sure you never get found, and you'd better never go back.

In fact, to keep from getting found and picked up by "escorts" while walking down the street, you need to change cities and go to a city where nobody knows you.

Homeless shelters and soup kitchens are good, and construction is a good way to earn money since they take day laborers and hire illegals.  You can also probably find out from the illegals when and where you can get work picking produce.  Live like an illegal and you'll probably get by just fine.  Just keep in mind that if your face ends up on a milk carton you may have a harder time hiding than an illegal.  But probably not.  Who remembers those faces, anyway?

Also, learn enough about stage makeup and method acting to change your appearance.  Heavy makeup is conspicuous, but pads high in your cheeks to alter the shape of your face are not.  Neither is long-wear lipstick that is either drawn just inside your lips to make them look smaller, or drawn just outside to make them look larger.  Bangs or the absence of bangs can affect the apparent shape of your face.  Learning to act casual without sneaking and wearing neutral colors, dying hair to a neutral brown if it's not already, make you unmemorable.  Obviously, don't come to the attention of the police. Well, if you're a guy, growing or shaving beard or mustache is the thing.

Learn Spanish and glom onto a family of illegals.   Brown contacts would be a good investment, as would fake-tan lotion.  If you look like an illegal, people aren't likely to look at you twice.  (If you're black, you've got it made--most people's eyes will skate over you anyway.)  Just don't look WASP.  If you're Asian, hang in a heavily Asian area to avoid notice.  Let the other illegals think Daddy did "bad things" so they'll sympathize with you and won't turn you in---don't ham it up, just say your dad did "bad things" and refuse to talk about it.

Don't use drugs.  It will screw up your ability to focus on surviving on your own.

Get *real* good at Spanish.  If you come to the attention of anyone, just pretend you don't speak English and only talk Spanish.  As long as they don't hand you to the INS--which they probably can't---it probably won't occur to them to think you might be a runaway.  Eventually they'll have nothing to do but let you go.  And if the INS gets you, you can admit who you are long enough to get out of their custody and *hope* you can find a chance to run again.  If you tell the INS guy, in English, that you're legal to convince him and stick to your "Daddy did bad things" story and clam up about what those might be, the guy handling you may feel sorry enough for you to look the other way when you take off.

The cool thing for you is you can just hide out until you turn 18 and you're suddenly "legal" again.

It's an Unintended Consequence of the RTC industry.  Running away now means you'd darned well better do it right and stay gone until *after* your 18th birthday.

The other thing is you could find out states ahead of time with liberal emancipation laws, know the rules, and play illegal until you qualify, then get legal aid to help you with the paperwork.

If you get in good with the illegal community, and work alongside them, the conservative latino values may provide some protections from the dealers and the pimps.

Yep, that's the lesson from the RTC industry:

If you run away, do it right, and whatever you do, don't go home before you're 18.

(For the stupid, this is all satire and not an actual attempt to get people to break the law.  Don't really do this, kids.)

Timoclea

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

[ This Message was edited by: Timoclea on 2005-05-07 13:04 ]

[Anonymous]

I totally understand and feel for you, it seems and I don't know you that you had a horrific experience.  But - here comes the unpopular comment and please don't give many XXXX about it but try to understand; to tell people to run away  - teens at that and how is an awful thing to do.  Although in a lot of cases they may not be safe in a RTC or some of them, they certianly are not at ALL safe on the streets, they are exposed to awful things the streets are no life for anyone especially a child or teen.  Shame on you.  I know you have your opinion but as a parent 1st and foremost I disagree and am appalled at the posting.  I also see you had lots of views but no one responded so I am.

[Anonymous]

Timoclea - you ended your post as if it was a joke for "stupid" people that would take it seriously.  So my question is, why would you even post this if you weren't halfway serious?   ::

[Antigen]

On 2005-05-08 16:39:00, Anonymous wrote:

Although in a lot of cases they may not be safe in a RTC or some of them, they certianly are not at ALL safe on the streets, they are exposed to awful things the streets are no life for anyone especially a child or teen. Shame on you. I know you have your opinion but as a parent 1st and foremost I disagree and am appalled at the posting.

Good! You should be appalled! Maybe you're starting to see the light! Speaking as a former teen who did time in a RTC and who escaped from time to time to "the streets" (actually, the interstate trucking culture and halfway houses plus juvenile detention for a month or so) I can tell you that RTC was, by far and away, the worst! And I got a front row pew view of the horrible, awful scenereo of being drugged and then gang raped while on the streets. That sucked! But it didn't suck quite badly enough to make me want to turn myself in and get sent back. In fact, it wasn't even bad enough to make me want to take the chance that maybe my dad would be home and maybe he wouldn't believe me when I told him why I didn't want to go back. So I hitchhiked right back up out or So. Florida, never even getting the few minutes w/ my brother that I'd paid so dearly to get.

I've been on the streets, hungry and friendless and I've been in RTC. Given the chance to do it all over again, I would not have done it any differently. When your body gets raped, you have the option of putting your mind somewhere else. In RTC you don't have that option.

Are you starting to get it now?

When he [Califano] claims that the voters of Arizona and California did not know what they were voting for when they supported the two initiatives, he reminds me of the way Serbia's President Slobodan Milosevic reacted to recent election results in that country.
-- George Soros -- Sunday, February 2 1997; Page C01 The Washington Post

[Deborah]

My friend escaped a religous RTC and made it to California. Along the way she was raped by a trucker, which she said was far less traumatic than her experience at the RTC. She said she would run if she had it to do again.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am seeing the light?  Ginger now listen or read rather, I am not here to argue with you, nor do I appreciate your every corner bashing me, I know who I am and what I do and am secure in all of this, I am terribly sorry you had such a horrific life and experiences, but please do not take this out on me or others especially those who do care.  This only burns bridges, I know that things are not good in the RTC world, I also know that if at all possible whenever possible we should keep kids in their homes with appropriate supports, etc., but this does not give you a license to be the end all - be all - know all, because you are not.  This is America everyone is entitled to their opinions and not everyone is out to harm children and families espcially me!

Once you realize this others will find it much easier to work with you, until then, I will pray and hope that you find some sort of peace in your life to be to move on from the horrors of your past (and I don't take them lightly either) and be a good advocate and succesful at it, until that happens, you will only burn bridges!  Take it from one who has been there!
 :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:  :exclaim:
Andrea

[Antigen]

Andrea, please don't take my comment as a personal attack. It wasn't meant that way at all. I'm just frustrated after years of trying to state the obvious and so rarely being heard or understood. And I'm not the only one. At least it's been some consolation to find that out.

But please take a breath and read the original post again. Timo doesn't suggest anybody run away. Just that, if they do (and we know from all of human history that, in every generation, some teenagers will run away) there's no going back. And that's tragic as hell. You're right, the streets (or rural byways) are no place for a young person who's legally disabled by age and runaway status. Been there several times. You can't even get a job sweeping floors for long before someone gets paranoid about aiding and abetting or, worse, decides to take advantage of your vulnerable circumstance.

And yet, given the choice, I would never have gone back home the first time because my parents were involved in the Program. Hell, in my case, if it hadn't been for the Program, I probably wouldn't have run in the first place. I never was afraid of my dad's hollering and grounding or the hard work assignments he gave me for breaking rules. The only reason I ran was because my parents were talking about putting me in The Seed. And that scared me! I didn't want to be brainwashed and there wasn't a single adult in my life who would understand that and protect me from it.

My point is that the entire troubled parent industry is built on a pie-in-the-sky fantasy. Yes, we know that life is dangerous. We know that kids need the support, protection and guidance of caring adults to make it through to adulthood in relative safety. But some kids don't have caring adults who are able and willing to provide that protection and guidance. And the troubled parent industry preys on those families, promising this mythical safe and helpful alternative which, in reality, is often far more dangerous than just letting the kid go and far more harmful than helpful.

I believe your intentions are good, Andrea. But I think you're thoroughly vested in this lie. Unfortunately there is no cheat sheet for raising kids. There is nothing a parent can do to strong arm control of a kid who worries them. Good old fashioned love and support is the best anyone can do. And anyone who tries to sell you something better is lying to you and, likely, to themselves about it.

In my view, your "success" is mitigated at best in that you're not really addressing the major issue. Good for you, helping to chase one of the more notorious little gulags out of your state. But you cheerfully and blithely advise parents to cooperate w/ institutions that isolate children from their old friends and family and even each other on "home" visits. (if it's just a visit, hon, it's not home anymore)

I think you just have no clue how demoralizing that is. Here's a good read on how that works:

The tactics used to create undue psychological and social influence, often by means involving anxiety and stress, fall into seven main categories.

TACTIC 1
Increase suggestibility and "soften up" the individual through specific hypnotic or other suggestibility-increasing techniques such as:Extended audio, visual, verbal, or tactile fixation drills, Excessive exact repetition of routine activities, Sleep restriction and/or Nutritional restriction.

TACTIC 2
Establish control over the person's social environment, time and sources of social support by a system of often-excessive rewards and punishments. Social isolation is promoted. Contact with family and friends is abridged, as is contact with persons who do not share group-approved attitudes. Economic and other dependence on the group is fostered.

TACTIC 3
Prohibit disconfirming information and non supporting opinions in group communication. Rules exist about permissible topics to discuss with outsiders. Communication is highly controlled. An "in-group" language is usually constructed.

TACTIC 4
Make the person re-evaluate the most central aspects of his or her experience of self and prior conduct in negative ways. Efforts are designed to destabilize and undermine the subject's basic consciousness, reality awareness, world view, emotional control and defense mechanisms. The subject is guided to reinterpret his or her life's history and adopt a new version of causality.

TACTIC 5
Create a sense of powerlessness by subjecting the person to intense and frequent actions and situations which undermine the person's confidence in himself and his judgment.

TACTIC 6
Create strong aversive emotional arousals in the subject by use of nonphysical punishments such as intense humiliation, loss of privilege, social isolation, social status changes, intense guilt, anxiety, manipulation and other techniques.

TACTIC 7
Intimidate the person with the force of group-sanctioned secular psychological threats. For example, it may be suggested or implied that failure to adopt the approved attitude, belief or consequent behavior will lead to severe punishment or dire consequences such as physical or mental illness, the reappearance of a prior physical illness, drug dependence, economic collapse, social failure, divorce, disintegration, failure to find a mate, etc.

These tactics of psychological force are applied to such a severe degree that the individual's capacity to make informed or free choices becomes inhibited. The victims become unable to make the normal, wise or balanced decisions which they most likely or normally would have made, had they not been unknowingly manipulated by these coordinated technical processes. The cumulative effect of these processes can be an even more effective form of undue influence than pain, torture, drugs or the use of physical force and physical and legal threats.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... =50#101071

God is the Asylum of Ignorance.
--Baruch Spinoza, Dutch-Jewish philosopher

_________________
Ginger Warbis ~ Antigen
Drug war POW
Seed `71 - `80
Straight, Sarasota
   10/80 - 10/82
Anonymity Anonymous
return undef() if /coercion/i;

[Anonymous]

If I was a teen again, threatened with being sent to a program again, I would run and never come back. If your parents can afford to send you to a program, they have enough valuables you can take with you to support yourself until you turn 18 and can work and live legally. This might offend some parents on this board, but you have never spent years of your teenage life locked up in hell. The problem is, teens have no idea these places exist. The escorts are waiting by your door before you have any idea anything is going on. If you go willingly, you are told it is a summer camp.  :roll:

[Timoclea]

It wasn't written as a "joke" on stupid people.

The reference to stupid people was because people who *aren't* stupid will "get it" the first time.

I suppose a free clue for stupid people doesn't work if someone is so stupid (or perhaps just ignorant and/or dense) they don't know that "satire" doesn't mean "joke."

If you don't understand what satire is, I just can't help you.

Program people have *made* it so that running away is both an irreversible choice for a teen with any sense of self-preservation, and an improvement over the damage many teens will suffer if they wait around to get "sent off."  That's not funny, that's not a "good idea"--that's tragic.  And horrific.

But it's what you've done.

Unintended Consequences.

Kids who normally would have turned their parents hair white as they navigated adolescence, maybe having some touch-and-go with the juvenile justice system along the way or some substance abuse problems that they'd find they didn't want to keep as they grew older----kids that would have grown out of their excesses on their own with no more legacy than being poor and having to bootstrap their education once they, as adults, understood it really was a good thing to have-----those kids are now made to choose between a horrific brainwashing experience or the streets (if they figure out the horrific experience *might* be coming).

Program parents' excesses have affected even the wild kids of *non* program parents.  Because those kids can't be sure they're not going to be awakened in the middle of the night by goons with handcuffs.

You think the word is not going to get around among teens?  For various reasons it's been slow, but once it makes it into the teenage underground of word-of-mouth "wisdom," there'll be no getting it out of there.

And then even kids whose parents would never dream of putting them in a program will run and stay gone---because they can't be sure, can they?

Program parents have *created* a worse social problem than the one they fought, and what they created is ramping up to become an even worse plague on us all.

This could be kept quiet when it was only something a few oddballs did to some "really hard core juvie" kids most other kids had never met.

Now, as it gets more likely that kids have known someone in their school who wasn't all that bad to just "disappear" and turn out to be in a Program, or the grapevine "knows" about a kid the next school over, and as it turns up in print all over everywhere that these places wake and kidnap kids in the middle of the night-----

Now, everyone who *isn't* stupid can see the rest of the iceberg of worse social problems these programs have caused.

Stuff get absorbed into teen conventional wisdom.  Everything from urban legends like smoking dried banana-peel screpings to who the go-to guy is for good fake id's to how to scam a drug test.

And once it gets into that body of the teen oral-tradition, you can't get it out.

You don't think the *teens* will have their own version of "how to run away" and "you better stay gone, dude" and "dude, your parents are psycho like that--you gotta run, dude"?

If you don't think it's coming, then you really are hopelessly stupid to a degree that's beyond help.

And if you think that I think it's a *good* thing that programs have made running away a *lesser* threat to the teen's mental survival than a program, and made running an act from which there's no return, then whatever weed you're smoking is too wacky for me.

But then, that's the whole problem with Program Parents.  They're gullible, short-sighted, impenetrably thick-skulled, and utterly convinced of their own rectitude.  They're so determinedly myopic that they can't see the consequences of their actions no matter how hard it's smacking them in the face.

They're a menace.

Timoclea

Have you considered that system of holy lies and pious frauds that has raged and triumphed for 1500 years.
--John Adams, U.S. President

[bandit1978]

If put in the same situation again, I surely would have taken to the street, and worked as a prostitute.  I seriously doubt that pimps are as sick and sadistic as the staff at PCS.  

Pimps may hit you, but I'm from an Irish-catholic family, and was used to that.  I would have worked my way into an upscale escort service.   And by age 18, I would have pride and dignity knowing that I was creative and independent and working and supporting myself, in a career that offers flexibility and an excellent income.

[Timoclea]

Offers flexibility?  I would think that for prostitution it would be a job requirement.

Or at least good on a resume.

 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

I think as a society we have to consider the ramifications of sudden, middle of the night parent-sanctioned abductions and facilities that are so "tough" that living on the streets is less unpleasant and less traumatic.

Even if every single one of the survivors who report abuse was lying, as the programs claim, the fact remains that teenagers are exposed to those claims on the internet, and even the programs' cheerleaders admit the programs are "tough."

I don't want my kid or other kids in my community running away and living on the street because the street is a better alternative than what they *think* is about to happen to them.

We adults need to make really sure that noplace a teen can be sent to legally, short of juvie, is worse (or is perceived to be worse by the teens) than living on the streets.

Even if there are parents who want to send their kids to places tougher than the streets, or perceived so by the kids, as a wake-up call, the rest of us in society have a strong vested interest in protecting our *own* teens by not allowing those parents to do that.

If my kid, who is more likely than most to go through a rough adolescence because of her special needs, has a friend who gets sent to one of these places and develops the mistaken belief that her daddy and I might be about to send her, *my* kid could run away and get hurt.

Making sure there *are* no programs tougher than the streets, or perceived so by the kids who "don't graduate," is vital for those of us who would never consider using a program or would never feel we'd need one.  It's a matter of protecting *our* kids from unnecessary risk.

Timoclea

Religion is all bunk.
--Thomas Edison, American inventor

[Timoclea]

Okay, that one particular kid may run from Program fear may be a stretch, but my point is that kids living on the streets is a bad thing, and the Programs, being what they are, are virtually certain to have caused kids to run who otherwise wouldn't have.  

The more kids come to be aware of Programs, the more kids will develop the belief, founded or not, that they are personally about to be sent and will run.

They're not just "tough," they're horrible.  Not being allowed to talk, having to stay in one position in an isolation room or write long essays confessing fault for minor breaches of the rules, not being able to wear your own clothes, having to "earn" having a single candy bar a week, even having to make your bed *perfectly* every day.

They suck.

I certainly would have run rather than be sent to one.  And I would have stayed gone.  That is, I would have run if I was in one of my more stable moods when I decided my parents were seriously considering it.  In a less stable mood, I would have faked sick to stay home from church and slashed my wrists in a bathtub of warm water after taking a load of aspirin or tylenol--I wouldn't have threatened or given warning.

I never, ever, ever threatened suicide, even though I thought about it a lot and carefully figured out how to do it.  I was too petrified of making an unsuccessful attempt and being institutionalized.  Being institutionalized was my absolute worst fear in high school.

But my chosen method would have worked, because the warm water stops the clotting even if you don't know to slash lengthwise.  And my parents were typically gone for two hours on Wednesday night.  Enough to bleed out, easy.

But I wanted and actively cooperated with outpatient treatment for the depression.

And I would have been okay with inpatient if I had known the place would be kind and not harsh.

If my parents were seriously considering someplace like WWASPS or any of the Aspen facilities or ALA or similar, I'd have been dead or gone faster than you can say disaster.

I wouldn't treat a dog like these places admit they treat lower level kids.

Timoclea

...it is worth discussing radical changes, not in the expectation that they will be adopted promptly but for two other reasons. One is to construct an ideal goal, so that incremental changes can be judged by whether they move the institutional structure toward or away from that ideal. The other reason is very different. It is so that if a crisis requiring or facilitating radical change does arise, alternatives will be available that have been carefully developed and fully explored."

http://laissezfairebooks.com/index.cfm?eid=103&aid=10247' target='_new'>Milton Friedman

[Anonymous]

FYI it is not allowed in MA licensed and I repeat LICENSED residential schools to keep a child from contact with family at all it is a violation of their civil rights as well.  In MA we do not have RTC's they are Residential Schools = and you have no clue what I do.  They are monitored closely, parents are allowed to visit and encouraged to and kids go home on weekends.  Desisto was another story in itself, the licensing agency fought them to license, they had to go to court, the parents of the kids their were believers and ran their own support groups and went by their own rules.  Parents from MA generally did not place their children there.

I do not believe that Residential is the answer and am sorry you are so tramatized by your horrific experiences, but some kids will need this level of education and care, and if they are to be placed by their parents I will make sure they know their rights, and they have many, I will make sure they are connected with other parents.  I cannot nor will not tell a parent they are a bad parent if this is what they choose for their child, I am not here to judge, and until you have a clue on what goes on in MA and what I really do then don't comment.  Yes I tell parents that working with a program is a good thing, and suggest strategies as well, but believe me when I tell you and their is not a provider in MA who won't stand up and say it either how to watch out for things, what to watch out for, and how to report incidents to the proper authorities etc.  Providers will tell you I have ripped into them more than once, as will the state agencies.  
When I started doing this - believe me I thought they all should be shut down, and we don't have troubled teens I HATE that label - all teens are troubled jeez they are teens, but when I got over our trauma, I became reasonable and know that their is a need, and as bad as I think it is at times in MA our LICENSED Programs and our Special Education Approved Residential Schools are some of the best in the Country.  Desisto was neither.
Andrea

[Antigen]

On 2005-05-13 17:46:00, Anonymous wrote:

I do not believe that Residential is the answer and am sorry you are so tramatized by your horrific experiences,

Ok, you're talking to more than just me now. A couple of different people have chimed in agreeing that, given it to do over again, they'd split and take their chances.

but some kids will need this level of education and care, and if they are to be placed by their parents I will make sure they know their rights, and they have many, I will make sure they are connected with other parents.

And chosen friends, right? The default response to messed up parents is to seek out the love, support, encouragement and understanding you need from other sources. You wouldn't cut a kid off from those people they choose as friends, would you? I mean, they're locked down already. They can't leave, get drugs in or do any sort of harm to themselves or others. So what's the harm in their talking and writing and swapping reading material and otherwise socializing w/ people who they choose?

I cannot nor will not tell a parent they are a bad parent if this is what they choose for their child, I am not here to judge, and until you have a clue on what goes on in MA and what I really do then don't comment.

Do tell.

When I started doing this - believe me I thought they all should be shut down, and we don't have troubled teens I HATE that label - all teens are troubled jeez they are teens, but when I got over our trauma, I became reasonable and know that their is a need, and as bad as I think it is at times in MA our LICENSED Programs and our Special Education Approved Residential Schools are some of the best in the Country. Desisto was neither.
Andrea

No argument there, Desisto is notorious. And no longer operating in MA. Again, nice work.

But that doesn't mean it's a good idea to isolate teenagers.

There's no "I" in team.

There's no "U" in team, either.

So... if you're not on the team and I'm not on the team, then who's on the fucking team?

yea, the team sux...down with the team
Anonymity Anonymous
return undef() if /coercion/i;

[Deborah]

Schools? Education? No RTCs???

ACADEMY AT SWIFT RIVER
CASTLE SCHOOL
STETSON SCHOOL
HARBOR SCHOOLS
Dynamy
COLD SPRING ACADEMY
John Dewey Academy

What's not RTC about these programs?
Mass has some pretty bad boys.
Are you ignorant about Mass programs are attempting to mislead?