Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School
What I am asking and what I want Answers too..
Star:
I have a very decent life. I am very honest and aware of who I am today. But In my previous life, even before MMS I was not happy. I was abused, physically, sexually, emotinally, verbally, you name it. When I was sent to MMS I was supposed to get the proper attention and care for the pain that I had been through my entire life. I was extremely traumatized, and vulnerable.I needed understanding. I needed love and attention. I was only 14 years old. My case was extra sensitive, but it made me no more special than anyone. Instead of being understood I was told that I was in complete self-pity. I had been molested and I was told that I was a sex addict. I was abandoned, and I was told that I was ungrateful (because I had been adopted). I was confused, and I was told that I was manipulative.
I was hurting, and I was told that I was fine.
I was angry, and I was told that I was attention seeking.
There were only about 30 girls there at the time, and I felt like I was always kicked to the side. It was not my job to beg someone to do therapy on me. I was there because they were the therapists or mentors, and I was their client. I was not an adult...I was a little child not even fully developed why should have the waited for me to "step up"..it had been the whole reason why I was sent there in the first place.
I can understand that Mission mountain school might not have been the place for a child with my case....but Mission Mountain School, if it is proffesional, why didn't they just tell my parents that they couln't help me? That they didn't know how to help me? Instead I was labeled a sex addict, an alcoholic, even a drug addict?
I am none of these things..I was mis-diagnosed, and I applied myself to all the "Medications" (as in AA, SLAA, NA meeting..even working all the 12 steps!) So when leaving MMS my problems were maily these false addictions that I had, and my true pain was never really dealt with. Do you want to know the simplest way I fixed myself? One day I just decided that God would set things straight..and I did not need to keep on analyzing over and over to detail. There was no point anymore, and that the simplest thing. MMS made me feel insane...as if I was not going to make it in the world. They made me feel like I was an alien. As if I was going to be paralized my entire life.
You know how it would feel if a doctor makes a mistake and tells you you need all these medications to survive, and make sure not to go here and there, and you need to attend all these classes, and deprive yourself of this and that, and tippy toe every where you go because you might die..and then you realize that your real treatment could have been a simple shot on the arm. You feel like a dumbass for ever believing such a dumb doctor, who just wanted to make you do all these things to benefit himself ..., and ofcourse you still hold that grudge years and years after.....well thats how I feel...
Anonymous:
I don't know if I was there when you were, but I agree with a lot of what you are saying, I feel I had a similar experience there.
Ashlee
Anonymous:
I was there 98-01
If you don't mind me asking...which ashlee is this?
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-05-12 16:30:00, Anonymous wrote:
He was an extremely honest man and I appreciate his honesty to this day.
--- End quote ---
How do you know he was honest? Do you have any reference other than him and his wife to verify anything that he told you?
One does not have to appeal to God to set the initial conditions for the creation of the universe, but if one does He would have to act through the laws of physics.
--Stephen Hawking, English scientist
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---"But Sarah, are you suggesting that because the program helped some students, those who felt genuinely harmed should stop being honest about that and essentially, keep their mouths shut ?
--- End quote ---
I don't think this is a fair quote... In fact, I think it's almost ironic because not only have YOU and many others on here advocated and been harsh to girls who have posted their positive experiences, but you have essentially "shut them up." Just because someone had a positive experience does not mean that their post is irrelevant. I posted on this site because Kathy's "Welcome MMS Alumni!" post encouraged the sharing of both positive AND negative sides.
I am not going to pretend that I understand the experiences of the girl's who have been harmed. HOWEVER, I am here to give support and unfortunately it seems that the girls who are hurting want nothing to do with girls who aren't in the same boat. I did have a positive experience at MMS and I am not going to pretend otherwise. Just because my experience there was positive doesn't mean that I haven't had other struggles in my life.... It also doesn't mean that I cannot be there for support and a listening ear.
You said that you feel the girls who had postive experiences "feel as if aknowledging that some girls had really awful experiences at MMS can be equated to discounting the program entirely and somehow takes away from what you experienced." I don't feel this way at all actually. In fact, I feel that the girls who had negative experiences don't want to hear the positive. And that is unfair. I have never posted a nasty response to someone's negative experience. I haven't posted a supportive one either, so I will apologize for that. I will make my support more available to those who want it. But my hesistance in posting comes from the fact that I feel as if no one wants to hear me. And just as those girls who feel abused want to be heard, whether it be in a post, a letter to Colleen, or a lawsuit... I WANT TO BE HEARD TOO. I had a good experience and I don't think there is any shame in that. What is shameful is that we are at each other's throats because we don't agree on experiences.
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