Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School
What I am asking and what I want Answers too..
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-05-12 15:11:00, sarahf wrote:
i think putting all the blame on a program that helped lots of us is uncalled for and unfair.
--- End quote ---
All which blame? People are just comparing notes and finding that, though you couldn't dare say it then, a lot of them felt the same way about things that went on at MMS. And I'm not surprised that several different people have talked about nightmares. A whole lot of us have Program nightmares. It's a lot like "naked at school" nightmares, except that most people don't ever experience being naked at school, whereas disconcerting Program dreams tend to be about how things really were.
How would you attribute things like that?
--- Quote ---comparing mms to that place is absurd. "
--- End quote ---
And yet we keep finding similarities in dogma, policies and even lingo. Amazing, isn't it?
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
Mike Finn was a great man... I got very close to him before I left Montana... he had an extremely tough life before finding recovery and did an amazing job getting through it. He was never abusive to anyone that I ever witnessed.. He was caring, though sometimes kind of rough around the edges. He was an extremely honest man and I appreciate his honesty to this day. Yeah, it got annoying being picked on, but in the end, I learned so much from him. And I KNOW others agree with me, and I KNOW others don't! That seems a tricky subject on this forum. Just dealing with the fact that we all seem to disagree!!
katfish:
But Sarah, are you suggesting that because the program helped some students, those who felt genuinely harmed should stop being honest about that and essentially, keep their mouths shut ?
I think some girls may feel as if aknowledging that some girls had really awful experiences at MMS can be equated to discounting the program entirely and somehow takes away from what you experienced. There is a definite sense that these stories of girls feeling mistreated are very threatening to girls who feel MMS is a great program (with some minor flaws that can be ignored) and easily slip into the dismissive rhetoric of how we're just a bunch of disgruntled students bashing MMS who must be somehow fucked up, have unresolved issues, or be otherwise defective b/c we can't accept the program just didn't work for us. The threat seems to affect the ability to even aknowledge that others had valid different experiences and see things from that angle for a moment, instead of resorting to telling girls to get over it.
The hostility as well as the lack of empathy has been a wall difficult to penetrate, with the exception of a few girls like Melissa ? and Aya who seem to have a clear pic. of both sidesand don't seem threatened by it one way or the other.
I can only try and put myself in your frame of mind and take a guess at what's going on, perhaps you could share your thoughts with me on that ?
There are things about MMS that were really cool, and many things that were very uncool and could use improvement, adjustement or entire reworking. To say that doesn't take away from the fact that there was some positive (or a lot positive for some) and that most of us loved the staff and formed great long-lasting friendships.
Don't know how much sense this makes- I'm awfully worn out this evening.
kat
Anonymous:
Kat... loved your last post. You sound truly understanding, sypmathetic, calm, honest... lots of good words. I just don't think there should be a lawsuit, don't think the school should be shut down. What do you guys really want as an outcome from a lawsuit? I haven't had that answered yet. Do you want money? Want the school to close? Because it shouldn't close... it has helped a lot of people, it's different now... Maybe it should change its approach a little, but that's up for debate... I mean, they work it the way they do because they feel that it's most effective that way, and they have reworked the system. They were doing it while I was there and have been doing it since.
So really, what are your expecations in filing a lawsuit?? I honestly want to know, and am not asking it so that I can fight back at you... I really am just curious, maybe I just dont' know much about the law, and suing people and what someone will get out of it. Personal satisfaction?
Help me out here! :smile:
sarahf:
i understand what you're saying kat. it's hard for me to hear such venom being spit at a place and people i care so deeply about and i feel a little protective over them. i am willing to accept that there are girls for whom the program didn't work out and who were unhappy about their experience there.
i guess when i found this forum last night i was totally taken aback by all the anger and resentment i read and many of my comments have been reactionary.
i am truly saddened that there are women who felt mistreated and "abused" at mms. i think that the people at mms (or those there when i was) are good people that are doing their best to help a group of troubled girls emerge with more self confidence and self-esteem. mms did that for me.
i have read a lot of back and forth between women discrediting each others experience. and unfortunately i've jumped right into the mix and done the same thing. i'm sorry if i invalidated anyone's feelings about their time during and after mms.
i know it was positive for me, but i also do have nightmares about being sent back. i haven't had one in a while, but they are scarry. i think those dreams have less to do with mms itself than with a time in my life where any control i had was taken away from me. getting "locked up" is not something i would wish on anyone because i do think it has had lasting traumatic effects, even if the experience itself ended up being positive.
-Sarah
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