Ok, here is the exact quote from Hannah that so ticked me off:
Not everyone has the backbone and fortitude to learn from this tough love based institution and come out better for having gone and Then there is the other outcome feeling abused and worse for having gone. I beleive that I came out of this insitution better for having gone.
I've read it over about four times now, hoping maybe I just didn't read carefully enough or took it out of context the last time. But no, I can't find any way to interpret that statement, especially in the context of the rest of the post; more especially in the context of the other post around the same time "What I am asking and what I want Answers too.."
To my mind, what you're saying, Hannah, is essentially this; "Anyone with any backbone and fortitude would have benefited from this program like I did and wouldn't view it as abusive."
Is there any other way to read that?
Aileen, don't worry about it. Venting
is good and, though I am sometimes opinionated and angry, it really takes some considerable effort to really hurt my feelings. I can take it!
Re: the "little girl" comment
I'm 40 years old. My oldest daughter is already 4 years older than I was last time I got stood up in girls' rap and the next one in line is just a year shy of that. When I think of those days, I remember telling myself I could handle it, that I was strong enough and smart enough and very much incontrol and invulnerable. But, from where I sit, I was a little girl then and so were all the other girls who participated in that madness. I really didn't mean to offend you w/ that. There's nothing wrong or shamful about having been a kid. But there is something very wrong and shameful about forcing (yes, forcing, not w/ a gun but w/ other, more personal forms of coercion) a kid to engage in intimate behavior against their will.
I don't doubt that you benefited from getting that stuff off your chest. But you must understand that some of those other girls could have done w/o having that sort of burdon placed on them, don't you? That's one of the flaws in the basic model of the Program. (and yes, what you ladies describe is
exactly the way they did it in The Seed and Straight) It's normal and good and healthy to confide in someone you trust. It can be extremely "not good" to pour out your guts to a group of people who may or may not keep your confidence or handle the information and your feelings w/ competence and compassion. Worse still to expect those other kids to come up w/ good advice and commentary on those serious issues.
And that's the other major, major flaw w/ the base model of the Program. Earlier you said just exactly what we all said when we had to; that all of your old friends were just using you, none of them were real friends. I don't think that's ever true. But, in the Program, it's all black or white, good or bad. So just about all of us lost good friends and other really important relationships because we were not allowed to contact anyone not approved by staff (and that was a
very short list!) While we were all "getting straight", they were going on w/ thier lives w/o us. When we came out, we were different, changed, affected in addition to just having missed out on a couple of years of what used to be our lives. Very few of us ever managed to pick up our real lives in any meaningful way. Almost anyone you talk to who spent a year or more in a synanon had to start over from scratch w/o those vitally important folks we knew back when.
And I have to laugh about what ya'll are saying about Colleen. Even now, all these years later (for some of you) she seems to be trying to call group on anyone who complains. Do you think she's able to grasp the concept that ya'll are not in the Program anymore? That she can't control you? That you all probably have a good enough grasp on basic mathamatics to notice that only a very rare few have been invited to the "reunion" and at least an average ability at pattern recognition to get a pretty good idea what the deciding factors are?
Don't get me wrong, a lot of people think this industry is all about the money and nothing else. I'm not one of those. I think the troubled parent industry is about narcissism and good intentions gone terribly, terribly wrong.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment, to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure.
--Clarence Darrow, American lawyer