Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

Where would you be without MMS?

<< < (5/9) > >>

Anonymous:
you're replying to the wrong person. i am not hannah, and i'm not trying to defend myself, i am asking you to back down or at least try to start speaking for yourself. you are misinterpreting what people are saying and misconstruing perfectly reasonable accounts. i had a very neutral experience at mission mountain school - i didn't love it but nor did i despise it, and my backbone is fine. i'm not sure if you even understood what i said. of course you're not "on the same level as john" in terms of salary and whatever else you tried to justify your behavior with, but you are doing exactly what you've accused him of doing, behavior wise: trying to drill your personal thoughts and opinions into other people's heads by attacking them with abusive commentary. 100,000 dollars or not...that's still uncalled for. i am not attacking your opinion because it is totally valid and i am not about to try to talk you out of it and cause a fight (or be a hypocrite); i am asking you to behave like a respectful adult. i repeat, not even for my sake - but for your own.

Antigen:
I'm not dismissing anyone's experience. It just chaps my ass when Program proponants blame the victim as Hannah very clearly did. "Some people just don't have the backbone and fortitude to learn from toughlove. But I do." The implication being that anyone who has any complaints ought to just shut up, it's their own fault the Program didn't "work" for them cause they're too weak.

Sorry, that's just a horrible thing to say to someone who's been through what you girls describe. It's about the same as telling a rape victim it's her own fault for not fighting harder. And I find that rather offensive.


I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

--Clarence Darrow
--- End quote ---

Anonymous:
"Some people just don't have the backbone and fortitude to learn from toughlove. But I do."

wow that comment says it all! It's like you are saying all of us who are making accusations against the school are completely screwed up, an we aren't very wise as you are, or the other girls who "took positive things out of it". Trust me I know about toughlove, and it does not mean that I have to allow people to step all over me.
you must be so much smarter than us because you managed "to see the light". My wisdom goes far beyond MMS.

Anonymous:
It doesn't appear to me that Ginger is doing what Mercer was doing. She's joining in converstation with the rest of us. She's not forcing you to reveal your darkest secrets and she's not forcing you to tell her everything, in great detail, about any sexual experience you had, or possibly did not have. She's telling her feelings about what she is reading.

There's a very definite riff here - some people truly had horrifying experiences at MMS and for them hearing others, some who they thought were their friends, discount their experiences and praise the school is a bit hard to swallow. I can understand them.

Someone has made some subtle threats to Ginger, I saw it in a few posts. That is not conducive to anything here. You are all saying what you want so there shouldn't be a problem with her interjecting her thoughts from experiences she has had in her life.

Settle down, girls.

aileen:

--- Quote ---On 2005-05-04 19:17:00, Antigen wrote:

"
--- Quote ---
On 2005-05-04 16:36:00, aileen wrote:


I may have lost my point somewhere in there.


--- End quote ---



Yeah, you did. Looks like you got caught up in all the cult lingo and mindset and sort of dazed there for a few. That's what the cult experts call "floating".



Maybe your olddruggie friends weren't all that bad and maybe the sex wasn't always of the hurtful variety?
--- End quote ---



I lose my point because I ramble too much, I've always done that EVEN BEFORE I WENT TO MMS! OH MY GOD! COULD IT BE? LOSING MY POINT HAS NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH MMS? Stop fucking analyzing me.

I didn't like it either when they overanalyzed us (which happened at times) at boarding school, but I definitely don't need it now.

Not to get bitchy but it's just fucking annoying.

No my old druggie friends weren't all bad, in fact I was a worse influence on them at times than the other way around. And no I'm not dumping on myself I tried to push drugs on them like crack so I wouldn't feel so bad about using them myself. And just because a lot of my peer group smokes pot and gets trashed in college doesn't mean that it's right for them or for me. And maybe they can handle it but all it did for me was get me fucked up in a bad way. It's not worth the risk of going back, because smoking pot already was an easy way for me to get back into the druggie culture and jump to shit like heroin and say fuck it all! I just want to get high and not do shit! And I can feel that tugging on me still sometimes.

And no the sex always was of the hurtful variety. I had sex with older guys because they were "hot" and popular and could give me the attention that recreated the sexual abuse I experienced. I was aware of the feeling even at the time though less consciously, I wanted to fuck my cousin.

I didn't even care about the people I had sex with, sometimes I did it just so they'd be friends with me. Or give me attention (though they hardly paid attention while we were doing the deed even) though afterwards they'd pretend I didn't exist and nothing had ever happened. I'd go home and feel shitty and binge and take a boiling shower... so gee, I think it was kind of harmful. I didn't think it was harmful because MMS told me it was. I knew it was, I just didn't want to stop because I didn't know any other way of dealing with these fucking feelings. I didn't know how to go about it.

I am having sex now with somebody I care about and it's damn good and it's not harmful and I can tell the difference.

Now I'm going back to your other post and seeing how else I can bitch.

Oh wait! I didn't say my old druggie friends were bad. In fact, I'm still friends with a bunch of them. However there were some relationships I know that they were just leeches and I didn't really care about them either it was just the bond that we were doing drugs together and that we were both fucked up. Those are people I'd go to today and be disgusted because they live a life of complete image and don't know who they are, they leech off the people around them to get love and an identity and I still sometimes wish I were there with them because that life was easy, though fucking painful because every day after coming home from being with my "friends" I'd cry and feel fucking alone inside. Those people aren't good for me because they'd want me to go back to the same old life we had before... I know because I was one of them.

However, some of my old druggie friends are cool and I had real relationships with them underneath it all. It STILL wouldn't have been good for me to call them at first because I tried to call my friend to meet me when I tried to run away, just as an example. I wanted to cling to them, cling to the druggie image I had instead of letting go and figuring out I was a person on my own. I wanted to stay in contact with them because I wanted to figure out ways I could get drugs shipped to me or I could plan to run away (which had nothing to do with MMS, I was always running away, I just wanted to go use and not give a shit about anything).

YEah I sound like a bitch. I'm pissed. Because I don't take everything at face value as I said, and I know what I'm saying, even though I lose my point because I digress a lot. I don't need you to preach at me and don't say you aren't you fucking sound preachy like I'm some dumb little cult product and I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about even though OH WHAT? this is my life and I'm inside my own fucking head!?! I've just been bitchy lately anyway. Maybe it's PMS. But yeah I'll calm down now and say I'm sorry if I've offended you but there are some valid points in what I say above.

Now I'll go look at your other post and get riled up again.[ This Message was edited by: aileen on 2005-05-06 01:53 ]

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page