Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

Where would you be without MMS?

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aileen:
You don't need to defend Antigen/Ginger. She's not a fucking god, and she's not as helpful as some people made her out to be in other posts I've read, not so open-minded, she is obviously against these places and insulting that girl she was talking to on pg 2 of this topic. Now she does make valid points at times, but she's not the fucking expert on everything.

What are your qualifications Ginger to say that this kind of therapy doesn't help girls? I know it helped me... I told every detail I could recall about being abused and it lifted a fucking boulder off my back. And I told it again in a group with my parents. And I felt even less burdened. Therapists who deal with children with sexual abuse ask them questions... for instance, my therapist deals with many sexually abused children (as well as sex offenders, and much else, she is qualified and experienced and a good therapist) and she recounts children who would blurt out everything that happens to them and tells it over and over again because saying it HELPS and lifts the shame off and takes away a little of the pain. Dammit I'm losing my point again because I'm ranting. It must be "floating," shit what else could it be, maybe I'm just a distractable person? What? Couldn't be.

aileen:
I needed to be removed completely shut off from the world because I am smart, thank you very much, and I could find ways to run off or do other shit. As I said in my above post, I also wanted to cling to a certain identity, and don't tell me that's healthy. Kids do it, it's a phase, but I needed to separate myself from that in order to figure out how I thought, how I felt, how I was, and not stay in that I don't give a fuck place because I took it to an extreme to where I didn't speak to my parents because I resented them so much and I fantasized about killing them and actually set it up trying to get myself to do it... don't tell me that's fucking normal. Even if that happened to you doesn't mean it's fucking good a lot of families are fucked up and it's more normal but not healthy.

Sleeping out the snow was not fun. It was, in some ways, if I think about it because we joked about shit. It was uncomfortable, but not a threat to our lives. It was a punishment, and I don't believe that punishment always works, even though that's how our culture runs... on punishment instead of discipline. Well fuck that's too bad why don't we blame the whole culture while we're at it.

The way you say things is skewed. Forcing? Little girls? Room full of people? Sex? Okay forcing, they told us to do certain things and from what I saw it helped.

They pushed a girl to yell "I'm not a victim" because she wouldn't believe it and she was still thinking that she couldn't help herself. She didn't want to do it. You could say they forced her but it's not like they physically forced her, or threatened her by putting a gun to her head. She was pressured sure.

Little girls makes it sound like we were seven year-olds. Sex, no not just sex, when I was there they didn't have us talk about just any sex. They had us tell the group not just "a room full of people" but people they spent every day with and knew and weren't strangers about sexual trauma because talking about it helps. I didn't speak a word about my abuse to anybody for about eight years. It was still there and growing. Then one day I told a random stranger about it online. And you know what? It didn't retraumatize me... I felt like a fucking ball of fairy dust afterwards. I felt amazing. And I was like, shit, I need to talk about this. But I didn't go about it the right way. When I talked in group and said things that were embarassing to say I felt great afterwards. Shame can be used in different ways. The type of shame that engulfs a sex abuse victim is not healthy. They feel dirty and shameful because they feel they were at fault, because they feel they are dirty and shameful not what happened to them. So talking about it helps to defy those underlying beliefs. I KNOW CUZ I WENT THROUGH IT AND I'M STILL GOING THROUGH IT.

Oh and I picked that sentence apart because that sentence was deliberately designed to present the issue a certain way to the reader, whether you were aware that you put it together taht way or it just came out because its waht you perceive and believe... Forcing little girls to talk about sex in a room full of people might as well be Encouraging young women to share their experiences with sexual abuse in a group of close peers. It's all skewed skewed skewed skewed.

And yes I am skewed too in certain ways. I believe that therapy helped me and it did. I believe I was not brainwashed by a cult. I do not condone the punishment method, because discipline can work better, but it takes a great deal of effort. I believe a lot of other crap too and see things my way but I am too tired to go about this. I just pointed that out because you said something about not taking sides or some shit along those lines in a post I read I really don't remember your exact words sorry if I screwed it up I have horrible memory.

I never felt shamed by anyone at school, not that I can remember. And do not tell me that's because I was brainwashed by a cult. I don't believe that.

I don't think I'm flawed. Where the hell did you get that shit from? I do get down on myself at times when I get depressed and it's stupid but I am not flawed. I used to think that, before going to MMS. I used to think I wasn't even a part of the human race, that I was just a filthy sex object... Gary actually helped me a lot with that, as did Jim Rogers, as did staff like Russell who talked to me like I was a person even though he was male and I was supposed to be nothing but sex to him (in my head), as did the girls who were real with me and treated me like a person... I gained a fucking lot out of the school, I don't agree with everything about the school or about life ... It needs work yes but no it's not a fucking cult that's fucking ridiculous and watch how you use that word it causes serious harm and people get all caught up like oh my god it's a cult it's not that's shit... you know what I have done research on cults before but once I get these finals out of the way I will go and do extensive research on cults and on brainwashing and then I'll come back to you and either say again it's shit or say okay I was wrong sorry. But for now, it's shit. shit hsithsithihtithsishit. okay it's late... i'm getting weird.[ This Message was edited by: aileen on 2005-05-06 02:33 ][ This Message was edited by: aileen on 2005-05-06 02:37 ]

aileen:
I just read what I wrote. I went a little far, I reread some other posts and I don't think Ginger you actually said you were not opinionated on the topic... I don't know where that impression came from. So apologies about that, I misunderstood something.

But the rest still stands for now.

katfish:
Aileen, Maybe you have ADD?
I figured out that I have that, not necessarily the source of all my problems, but certainly made it a struggle at excelling at things that would make it easier for me to move forward in my life...that is, succeed...I too would digress frequently and my writing were frequently as disjointed as your own.
Also, FYI it's not uncommon to want to fuck your cousin.  And studies have shown that it's a myth and simply cultural taboo, but not genetically harmful to offspring procreated,(should offspring be produced)- which is the only leg the myth has to stand on.  Don't know if you felt shame about that, but it's only society that makes that desire problematic.   :smile:

Anonymous:
you said some girls make ginger out to be a God...and you asked what are her qualificatins for analizying things or...whatever that statement was...

anyway atleast she's hasn't opened a theraputic boarding school and analyzing girls, and "judging" through theraputic analysis without a theraputic licese.
chill out!  she's just a chick stating her opinions

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