Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

To Each Her Own

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Anonymous:
I attended MMS from 1997-1998.  I still have dreams of being sent back and I am now 25, married with two kids and sucessful buisness owner.  By most accounts you could say I turned out okay, but do I my successes to MMS? No. I still struggle with an eating disorder, something that was barely touched on my whole year and a half there, if anything MMS maybe made it worse.  Its I really wish could have been delt with better while I was there.  All I can say is that my emotions about the school have been an emotional roller coaster.  Lots of anger, resentment, negativity built up for years over my experience there.  I vented one night on a board called "stuggling teens" and I would have to say it was a very nasty post.  I got a call from Colleen shortly after.  I got the post taken down.  I am glad that I did.  I don't want to be responsible for a struggling teen not getting the help they need because of my "opinion."  I have decided what didn't work for me, might work for someone else.  My mom should have researched it more, I should have been sent somewhere that could deal with my eating disorder as well the the drugs, MMS was not designed to do that they were much more of a make you or break you, I really needed something different a program with more trust and nurturing. When I got there I really wanted help and I wanted to get better and receive guidence, I went on my own free will.  I even read the borchure before I went!  But I realize now MMS was designed to break you down first, you had to earn your status and respect there.  I didn't understand what I was being treated so harshly when I was trying really hard and being honest, but now I see why they do that. But in the same breath I guess some kids may need that, I just didn't.  

I was under John Mercer the WHOLE time I was there.  He took me in as his "personal "project" because he said I had potential and he thought he was good for me.  However, all this did was perpetuate the pattern of my life.  I spent my whole time there seeking his approval and attention, something that had driven me crazy and caused a lot of my issues at my own home seeking approval and attention from my own dad.  Of you guys who know John Mercer, trying to get his approval was like chasing a rainbow.  It was devastating to me, it continued my pattern of never being "good enough". I left early while on a home visit after about 18 months, I convinced my mom not to send me back, I never formally graduated.  I've never regretted it either.  I just don't feel like MMS ever really got the real me, they never got to the heart of me because they assumed from the beginning they knew me.

But its been a long time and I've decided that I need to take what I could from the experience and get over it.  I have decided that I believe that the staff there had good intentions no matter how flawed the treatment was at times.  I don't think that I can speak for everyone that attended MMS.  Just like here on the board, some people had good experiences, some bad. When I look at my experience what I can say that I've gotten through some tough times since I left because at MMS I learned how to weather the storms.  I truly believe what dosen't kill us makes us stronger. Thats what I took from there.  (I am also extremely efficient at "chores" my husband never ceases to be impressed) I've heard theres been changes since I left and I hope that MMS really wants to help girls.  If they are then I'll just chalk it up as another interesting/ hard experience that I learned a lot from and Im glad its over.  Would I send my daughter there?  Probably not.  I believe a parent is a parent and you don't have kids to send them away when it gets hard.  But I have no ill will to MMS. I hope they help lots of girls. It might not have been the right fit for me, but that does not mean it dosen't fit everyone.

Ashlee (Terry) Rumfallo
ashleerumfallo@cox.net

(I wish more posters put thier names I want to know who everyone is!  I would love to hear from anyone who was there while I was.  I know that people might not like me because I "left early"  but I'm not a bad person, :roll:  REALLY!)

Anonymous:
By the way, I really am not trying to "bash" I just wanted to post my thoughts, there are so many angry posts here I just felt that I wanted to write without being angry. Also in perspective of not EVERYTHING was bad and hurtful at MMS, that maybe just like everything in life, its not perfect and different people have different expereinces and thats okay, lets not be angry and hateful about it.

Anonymous:
I forgot to put my name, I wrote above post too.

Ashlee R

katfish:
Wow, Ashlee Terry- huh, you have the same name of a girl who attended MMS with me back in 1992.

 In anycase, yup, I agree, MMS had good points in addition to the bad, and whatever doesn?t kills us makes us stronger and better prepared for the future. My take on MMS however, is while we all have flaws, when you have the responsibility of caring for what is now 40 girls that come from difficult backgrounds there needs to be a program that is implemented that is most effective and helpful and remove that which is ineffective.  Not only ineffective but, in my personal experience harmful.  
The feeling I can't escape is that I have a personal responsibility to myself and a sense of responsibility to others to do what little I can to help get these schools regulated by not only addressing, but being careful not to downplay the significance the part of the program which I felt was abusive.  Just as with my parents, I had to address that which was harmful to me and speak my truth.  I?m all for the regulation of these types of schools to ensure that futrue kids are treated with care, respect and dignity.  I see where you?re coming from, but my feeling is that I felt the program was so harmful that I think that part of it needs to change for the sake of future girls and so that the parents and counselors alike understand that it is not ok to treat kids in that manner for the sake of recovery.  With regards to MMS I think the ends do not quite justify the means.
(please excuse the redundancy)


Kathryn Whitehead

Anonymous:
I understand what you are saying, but you have proof right here that it does work for some girls.  If you had overwhelming  negative responses from everyone who ever went there then yes you would have a valid point.  But to rip on the school because of a handful of negative experiences is wrong.  Of course no program is perfect for everyone.  I worked at a program while in college that was sooo different from MMS, and yet there too you would find good responses and bad responses there also.  Going after regulation is fine but I don't think that bashing is appropriate just because of bad experiences of some.  I know how you feel, I felt that angry at a few times too, but maybe the solution is that there needs to be better placement proceedures so kids get put in programs that are going to work for them. At some point you have to look at the big picture.  If you feel you have a valid point send out questionaires to ALL MMS alumni, then you might have a case.  You know my response might not  be positive but I don't agree on shutting it down and a lawsuit, no.  I think its too bad that kids might not always be put in the best programs FOR THEM, but thats just the reality when you are dealing troubled kids.

Ashlee R.

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