Author Topic: For Colleen Harrington  (Read 10958 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2005, 01:57:00 PM »
yeah i think so too.
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Offline KatieH

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #31 on: June 01, 2005, 06:33:00 PM »
Im the one who carried the rocks, I did not have bruising up and down my spine and I did not have to wear them on the bike, I was allowed to put them in my panniers.  I am glad I carried the rocks, it helped me realize the things I need to work on, so stop talking about my situation and calling it abuse-It's me Katie Harrison- I will say it again, no more sppeculation, I carried the rocks and it was NOT abuse.
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Offline katfish

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #32 on: June 01, 2005, 10:45:00 PM »
Hey Katie!  
Long time, how are you?  Hope you are well!  Whenever I hear about the plague (not in a bad way!) I think of you, remember that story you wrote around the topic?  Always thought it was really interested and that I'd see your name in some literary journal somewhere!

Anyway, not sure if I made the reference you speak of, although I assure you, if it was, it wasn't about your rock carrying 'journey' referenced. Another former MMSer was forced to use rocks at metaphor as well and that was who is being spoken about...

Sounds like we have differing views on MMS, that's cool, just want to make sure facts we're somewhat straight and you were not confusing the issue.

Best to you and yours,
kat
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Offline KatieH

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #33 on: June 02, 2005, 04:25:00 PM »
Hey Kat!!  Are you who I think you are?  NO matter how our views differ about MMS, I would really like to catch up with you!!  My email is [email protected]  I would love to hear what you are up to, maybe we can talk on the phone.  Send me a message girl!  Love Katie
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ny MMS alumni please contact me if you like, I am most interested in finding Kaiwyn and Annie, of the 90-94 era.  [email protected]

Offline sunshine

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #34 on: June 03, 2005, 10:27:00 PM »
Youre not the only one who had to carry rocks Katie. While I was there another girl had to carry them. For like, 9 or 10 months! she did get bruises. she did have to carry them, aside from the ones we all had to carry in our paniers. She did have to ski up garnet  through a blizard with them. And im sure it hurt a lot.

Even a little boy sees rottenness rewarded and good people smacked down. Unctuous rationalizations of this by otherwise sensible adults disgust little children.
http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/chapters/10i.htm' target='_new'>John Taylor Gatto

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Offline KatieH

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #35 on: June 05, 2005, 03:21:00 PM »
Hey Sunshine, when were you there? I don't know about other girls, but I chose my own rocks, nobody but me was responsible for how much weight I was carrying.  Who were the other girls who carried rocks, not who knows them, but the girls who actually did it.  They are the only ones who can say how it affected them.  Are you out there ladies?
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ny MMS alumni please contact me if you like, I am most interested in finding Kaiwyn and Annie, of the 90-94 era.  [email protected]

Offline sunshine

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2005, 10:05:00 PM »
Things like that don't only affect the person that its happening too, but everyone that cares for that person and is watching as they struggle with fifty pounds of extra weight that I didn't have. Luckily. Im sorry that you don't want to hear my opinion. Why does it matter when I was there?

The age of ignorance commenced with the Christian system.
--Thomas Paine, American revolutionary

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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #37 on: June 07, 2005, 10:11:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-06-01 15:33:00, KatieH wrote:

I am glad I carried the rocks, it helped me realize the things I need to work on,


How exactly did this help you realize anything?
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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #38 on: June 08, 2005, 02:06:00 PM »
Okay I didn't carry rocks----but lets not pretend to be dumb---Anon above I think you know why it helped her come to all sorts of realizations about her life----I can see what your major disagreements are about this place come from and well because I have had the same doubts and questions---and the truth about that comment above it sounds ignorant and I highly doubt you are---lets try to understand what others are saying because if everyone is just splatting there opinions up here and not trying to see the other side we will all end up walking away from this alone.  

I am going to the reunion to see my friends to be with girls that are there and hopefully see alumni that I have never met----I understand why most of you don't want to go...

I was scheduled to go visit MMS about 2 years ago----And I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back.  Its really strange, life is I guess what I am referring to because well it just is and I think MMS had a ginormous affect on me and you and everyone else good or bad and everything in between.  Even if I had neevr gone there ---I would have felt loss, anger and pain, and the truth of the matter I have been in some kind of institution all my life whether it was public school, Detention center, therapy or MMS----I really don't know anything and I am no one to argue with and I have repect for all of you and your process-and we all carry rocks, whether we recognize them or not anon above maybe afew of your stones have to do with MMS----and soemtimes it takes actual rocks, tangible wieght to prove that we have these pains in our life.  Anyways thats my expereince.  I love all of you in a very special way, wow I know its a bit blaa but it fucking true.
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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2005, 11:33:00 PM »
i recognize that this type of metophorical  therapy may work on some, but to others there may a definite sense that it is useless, if not harmful- bruising, etc.  
For me, however, it is difficult to understand how associating rocks with actual issues a person is struggling with is helpful. I don't understand how that leap can be made, but then again, I didn't feel MMS therapy gave me very much clarity to begin with, so naturally I don't think carrying rocks would have been helpful if I wasn't at all clear or had any sense of what I needed to tackle to move forward.  
But that was the whole point of me being at MMS- getting clear and tackling these issues, no?  I think if I hadn't been so terrified and was allowed to tell my parents this wasn't working- instead of them stating it was a manipulation trick- then perhaps a lot of heartache at MMS and after could have been avoided.  
Unfortunately, I felt unable to speak up and had a lot more confusion and pain to deal with afterwards than I otherwise would have.  
I also think, like the nightmares so many girls have of MMS, the anxiety and shame of not being good enough was not something that we a 'naturally' carry with us, but was put on us.  Of course, it's up to each one of us to try and address that feeling (like what was posted earlier) of being too 'fucked up', but the point is that it is extremely harmful to harbor those feelings of shame that MMS so readily placed squarely on our shoulders in an effort to get us to alter our behavior and way of thinking. Surely there are better ways to reach that objective without causing that lingering feeling to plague each of us...?  
Those feelings of shame can be much more damaging than I think we really give credit- it can have that self-sabatoging effect and I am sure it has caused much pain in many of our lives- regardless of our overall views of MMS.  Again, of course, its up to each one of us to work through it and move past it, but for it to even be there to begin and be placed there by a school devoted to helping us makes me wonder how truly beneficial those methods really are ?
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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2005, 11:40:00 PM »
ANON writes:
I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back.

What did you have to change?  You mean something you disliked about yourself?  Was it b/c your dislike or thought MMS would disapprove? Do you think you felt 'not good enough' b/c of you or MMS?  ANd what if you feel 'not good enough' but there's nothing about you that really requires changes, in your opinion, but does by MMS standards?

  And why frightened- we're big girls, isn't it abnormal to feel 'frightened' of a school that was made to be seen as a 'safe place'?  Fear of MMS?  I don't understand.  I mean, I do, b/c I went there- that's what it's all about, I just don't understand why that's ok.  
Imagine- adult women afraid of a  school they attended in their teens.  Just seems to me entirely contradictory in terms of its role in our lives, it's purpose and our emotional response.  
I also can't understand the nightmare part of this  too.  We can speak until we're blue, but emotions speak much louder- at least, in my mind.
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Offline Cayo Hueso

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #41 on: June 09, 2005, 12:00:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-06-08 11:06:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Okay I didn't carry rocks----but lets not pretend to be dumb---Anon above I think you know why it helped her come to all sorts of realizations about her life

I know the "line" about why its supposed to help, but I'd really like to hear your explanation.  Again, I'm not attacking you...I'm really trying to learn from your perspective.

Quote
I was scheduled to go visit MMS about 2 years ago----And I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back.

Please elaborate on this.  Why did you feel so frightened?  Why was your original reason for blaming the way you fealt on the school and what changed your mind?

 
Quote
Its really strange, life is I guess what I am referring to because well it just is and I think MMS had a ginormous affect on me and you and everyone else good or bad and everything in between.  Even if I had neevr gone there ---I would have felt loss, anger and pain, and the truth of the matter I have been in some kind of institution all my life whether it was public school, Detention center, therapy or MMS----I really don't know anything and I am no one to argue with and I have repect for all of you and your process-and we all carry rocks, whether we recognize them or not anon above maybe afew of your stones have to do with MMS----and soemtimes it takes actual rocks, tangible wieght to prove that we have these pains in our life.  Anyways thats my expereince.  I love all of you in a very special way, wow I know its a bit blaa but it fucking true.

"


I'm glad you're posting here.  I'm not trying to attack you at all, I am sincerely interested in how you view all of this.  It gives me a much better understanding of how I've dealt with it for the past 20+ years.  Hope you stick around and continue to post.  Things get very heated arojnd here, don't let it get you down.  There are many, many great people here.....extremely passionate about what they believe in, but for the most part we're good people...just get a little uppidy sometimes.

They serve so that we don't have to. They offer to give up their lives so that we can be free. It is, remarkably, their gift to us. And all they ask for in return is that we never send them into harm's way unless it is absolutely necessary. Will they ever trust us again?

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/latestnews/index.php?id=18' target='_new'>Michael More

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t. Pete Straight
early 80s

Offline Antigen

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #42 on: June 09, 2005, 12:31:00 AM »
We didn't carry rocks at all. Instead, we ran laps around the inside of a warehouse and did calisthenic exercises... for hours.

What I learned from that is that I am a pretty tough bitch. I got through the entire two years w/ the attitude that I could play the game, go through the motions and deliver my lines longer than they could try and wear me down. "Run another two hours? Fine." Never mentioned that I used to run 3mi, bike 40 and swim 50 laps some days before the program.  
 

The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture
is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin
to understand me?

--O'Brien to Winston Smith

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #43 on: June 10, 2005, 01:29:00 AM »
Hello fellow MMS companions, I stubbled across this website by accident but would so much like to get reconnected with other MMS students.  What you have said is interesting.  I have often thought those very things but, always reject the idea that their intentions were anything but pure.  Man am I nieve.
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Offline Anonymous

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For Colleen Harrington
« Reply #44 on: September 28, 2005, 06:19:00 PM »
YES colleen thanks for all of both you and your husband johns abuse to us. Sure you were nice to some of the girls but to the rest of us you were heartless and incredibley crule! thanks for nothing. And I also think that its sick that you hunt down girls who are just sharing the hardships they went through so NO OTHER GIRLS HAVE TO ENDURE THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT MOST OF US HAD TO EXPERIENCE. It makes me sick!!!!! You both deserve all the shit in the world for putting us through all that bull crap, and I pray no one else has to go through what we did. :flame:
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