Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School

For Colleen Harrington

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Anonymous:
ANON writes:
I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back.

What did you have to change?  You mean something you disliked about yourself?  Was it b/c your dislike or thought MMS would disapprove? Do you think you felt 'not good enough' b/c of you or MMS?  ANd what if you feel 'not good enough' but there's nothing about you that really requires changes, in your opinion, but does by MMS standards?

  And why frightened- we're big girls, isn't it abnormal to feel 'frightened' of a school that was made to be seen as a 'safe place'?  Fear of MMS?  I don't understand.  I mean, I do, b/c I went there- that's what it's all about, I just don't understand why that's ok.  
Imagine- adult women afraid of a  school they attended in their teens.  Just seems to me entirely contradictory in terms of its role in our lives, it's purpose and our emotional response.  
I also can't understand the nightmare part of this  too.  We can speak until we're blue, but emotions speak much louder- at least, in my mind.

Cayo Hueso:

--- Quote ---On 2005-06-08 11:06:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Okay I didn't carry rocks----but lets not pretend to be dumb---Anon above I think you know why it helped her come to all sorts of realizations about her life
--- End quote ---

I know the "line" about why its supposed to help, but I'd really like to hear your explanation.  Again, I'm not attacking you...I'm really trying to learn from your perspective.


--- Quote ---I was scheduled to go visit MMS about 2 years ago----And I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back.
--- End quote ---

Please elaborate on this.  Why did you feel so frightened?  Why was your original reason for blaming the way you fealt on the school and what changed your mind?

 
--- Quote ---Its really strange, life is I guess what I am referring to because well it just is and I think MMS had a ginormous affect on me and you and everyone else good or bad and everything in between.  Even if I had neevr gone there ---I would have felt loss, anger and pain, and the truth of the matter I have been in some kind of institution all my life whether it was public school, Detention center, therapy or MMS----I really don't know anything and I am no one to argue with and I have repect for all of you and your process-and we all carry rocks, whether we recognize them or not anon above maybe afew of your stones have to do with MMS----and soemtimes it takes actual rocks, tangible wieght to prove that we have these pains in our life.  Anyways thats my expereince.  I love all of you in a very special way, wow I know its a bit blaa but it fucking true.

"

--- End quote ---


I'm glad you're posting here.  I'm not trying to attack you at all, I am sincerely interested in how you view all of this.  It gives me a much better understanding of how I've dealt with it for the past 20+ years.  Hope you stick around and continue to post.  Things get very heated arojnd here, don't let it get you down.  There are many, many great people here.....extremely passionate about what they believe in, but for the most part we're good people...just get a little uppidy sometimes.
They serve so that we don't have to. They offer to give up their lives so that we can be free. It is, remarkably, their gift to us. And all they ask for in return is that we never send them into harm's way unless it is absolutely necessary. Will they ever trust us again?

Michael More
--- End quote ---

Antigen:
We didn't carry rocks at all. Instead, we ran laps around the inside of a warehouse and did calisthenic exercises... for hours.

What I learned from that is that I am a pretty tough bitch. I got through the entire two years w/ the attitude that I could play the game, go through the motions and deliver my lines longer than they could try and wear me down. "Run another two hours? Fine." Never mentioned that I used to run 3mi, bike 40 and swim 50 laps some days before the program.  
 
The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture
is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin
to understand me?

--O'Brien to Winston Smith
--- End quote ---

Anonymous:
Hello fellow MMS companions, I stubbled across this website by accident but would so much like to get reconnected with other MMS students.  What you have said is interesting.  I have often thought those very things but, always reject the idea that their intentions were anything but pure.  Man am I nieve.

Anonymous:
YES colleen thanks for all of both you and your husband johns abuse to us. Sure you were nice to some of the girls but to the rest of us you were heartless and incredibley crule! thanks for nothing. And I also think that its sick that you hunt down girls who are just sharing the hardships they went through so NO OTHER GIRLS HAVE TO ENDURE THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT MOST OF US HAD TO EXPERIENCE. It makes me sick!!!!! You both deserve all the shit in the world for putting us through all that bull crap, and I pray no one else has to go through what we did. :flame:

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