Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School
For Colleen Harrington
KatieH:
Hey Sunshine, when were you there? I don't know about other girls, but I chose my own rocks, nobody but me was responsible for how much weight I was carrying. Who were the other girls who carried rocks, not who knows them, but the girls who actually did it. They are the only ones who can say how it affected them. Are you out there ladies?
sunshine:
Things like that don't only affect the person that its happening too, but everyone that cares for that person and is watching as they struggle with fifty pounds of extra weight that I didn't have. Luckily. Im sorry that you don't want to hear my opinion. Why does it matter when I was there?
The age of ignorance commenced with the Christian system.
--Thomas Paine, American revolutionary
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-06-01 15:33:00, KatieH wrote:
I am glad I carried the rocks, it helped me realize the things I need to work on,
--- End quote ---
How exactly did this help you realize anything?
Anonymous:
Okay I didn't carry rocks----but lets not pretend to be dumb---Anon above I think you know why it helped her come to all sorts of realizations about her life----I can see what your major disagreements are about this place come from and well because I have had the same doubts and questions---and the truth about that comment above it sounds ignorant and I highly doubt you are---lets try to understand what others are saying because if everyone is just splatting there opinions up here and not trying to see the other side we will all end up walking away from this alone.
I am going to the reunion to see my friends to be with girls that are there and hopefully see alumni that I have never met----I understand why most of you don't want to go...
I was scheduled to go visit MMS about 2 years ago----And I found myself in Portland on my way in my car-Stunned by how frightened I was because I didn't feel good enough. At first I blamed my feelings on the school and the truth is that all of it had to do with me---I couldn't blame it on anyone but my self----And now I have changed ....not the school I have changed and I am at a point were I can go back. Its really strange, life is I guess what I am referring to because well it just is and I think MMS had a ginormous affect on me and you and everyone else good or bad and everything in between. Even if I had neevr gone there ---I would have felt loss, anger and pain, and the truth of the matter I have been in some kind of institution all my life whether it was public school, Detention center, therapy or MMS----I really don't know anything and I am no one to argue with and I have repect for all of you and your process-and we all carry rocks, whether we recognize them or not anon above maybe afew of your stones have to do with MMS----and soemtimes it takes actual rocks, tangible wieght to prove that we have these pains in our life. Anyways thats my expereince. I love all of you in a very special way, wow I know its a bit blaa but it fucking true.
Anonymous:
i recognize that this type of metophorical therapy may work on some, but to others there may a definite sense that it is useless, if not harmful- bruising, etc.
For me, however, it is difficult to understand how associating rocks with actual issues a person is struggling with is helpful. I don't understand how that leap can be made, but then again, I didn't feel MMS therapy gave me very much clarity to begin with, so naturally I don't think carrying rocks would have been helpful if I wasn't at all clear or had any sense of what I needed to tackle to move forward.
But that was the whole point of me being at MMS- getting clear and tackling these issues, no? I think if I hadn't been so terrified and was allowed to tell my parents this wasn't working- instead of them stating it was a manipulation trick- then perhaps a lot of heartache at MMS and after could have been avoided.
Unfortunately, I felt unable to speak up and had a lot more confusion and pain to deal with afterwards than I otherwise would have.
I also think, like the nightmares so many girls have of MMS, the anxiety and shame of not being good enough was not something that we a 'naturally' carry with us, but was put on us. Of course, it's up to each one of us to try and address that feeling (like what was posted earlier) of being too 'fucked up', but the point is that it is extremely harmful to harbor those feelings of shame that MMS so readily placed squarely on our shoulders in an effort to get us to alter our behavior and way of thinking. Surely there are better ways to reach that objective without causing that lingering feeling to plague each of us...?
Those feelings of shame can be much more damaging than I think we really give credit- it can have that self-sabatoging effect and I am sure it has caused much pain in many of our lives- regardless of our overall views of MMS. Again, of course, its up to each one of us to work through it and move past it, but for it to even be there to begin and be placed there by a school devoted to helping us makes me wonder how truly beneficial those methods really are ?
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