Author Topic: Has anybody been to Daytop lately?  (Read 15505 times)

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Offline girlfriend

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« on: April 24, 2005, 12:20:00 AM »
My boyfriend is there, in adult Daytop.  Everything I read about is teens and 10 years ago.  What's it like now?

Scoundrels are predictable, but you're a man of honor and that frightens me.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671877046/' target='_new'> Robert Heinlein, Glory Road.

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ife is what happens while your making plans.  John Lennon

Offline Antigen

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2005, 02:09:00 AM »
I dunno. Can you talk to him at all? Write letters? Would you know if they were sort of self censored?

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Offline girlfriend

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2005, 01:16:00 AM »
No, I haven't heard a word in two months.  I was told he can't write or call becuz we used to drink together, and they know that.  I'm straight now, and wondering what's happening to him.

May your days be joyously challenging and your words artfully true.
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ife is what happens while your making plans.  John Lennon

Offline odie

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2005, 04:35:00 PM »
Sounds like nothing has changed since I was there 5 years ago. First off who told you that he can't speak to you because you drank together? If you are now sober you should be able to get screened by their staff to be able to communicate with your boyfriend. Have you written to him and not had the letters returned to you unopened? If not then do it so you can know that he is at least there or not. Federal law forbids anyone from interfering with the U.S. Mail. Try to contact his counselor to see how he is doing. Just pray that they afforded him the oppurtunity to sign a release of confidentiality for you to know his status in treatment otherwise you are basically screwed because then they won't and can't even acknowledge that he is there.

All thinking men are atheists.
--Ernest Hemingway, American author

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Offline Anonymous

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2005, 12:12:00 AM »
Thanks, I appreciate any info I can get.  First, I have no way of knowing which Daytop center he is at, only that he is in NY.  He called me just before he went into "intake" and said he'd write or call.  Nothing.  Next, I am not on speaking terms w/his family, they hate me... very long story.  I'm not too fond of them either.  I am so afraid I'll get him in trouble if I give them my name.  I've called and asked, and immediately they want to know my name.  I'm afraid I'll get him in trouble from everything I've read... He probably didn't sign a confidientality agreement for me... he was freaked out when I last talked to him, and said he was just going to do what they said until he could get out of there, and get some sort of "certificate" of graduation to keep from going to jail.  He is 24yo, in "adult treatment".  I have no contacts and I'm wondering if maybe he found another girlfriend in there!  Maybe I'm being dumped and I'm just stupied. It's been almost 2 months.  I really just want to know if he wanted to, could he get ahold of me or not?  Can he get to a phone or write letters?  Any input would be more appreciated than you can ever know.
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Offline Troll Control

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2005, 10:16:00 AM »
Haven't been up to Daytop in a while, but I do see the vans full of druggies going down the parkway a few times a week...
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Offline odie

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2005, 12:34:00 PM »
You can call their intake facility in Far  Rockaway or the family assocation at their main headquarters at 54 W. 40 ST in NYC for information. Between the entry unit and orientation in upstate treatment it should take him about 60-90 days to get writing priveledges.

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2005, 09:54:00 PM »
Thank you SO much. That explains a lot.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2005, 11:22:00 PM »
You were right on, Odie.  He got phone privilages after 82 days.  He said you have to get authorization for just walking.  And writing privilages.  He said there's people in there getting out of prisons for felonys, murder, rape... bad a**'s.  He said he's been just playing it low key, doing what they want.  He can't wait to get out... we're gonna take a vacation.  I felt so sorry for him, it's like he's doing time, not being "rehabilitated."  Whatever that means.  He just got into a mess he couldn't get out of w/DUI's, so instead of going to jail, this was the alternative.  It's so sad, really. Do these places help?  I think they set you straight about making sure when you drink or get high, you do it at home and take all precausions not to get busted and end up in the "system."
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Offline odie

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2005, 03:49:00 PM »
Well one thing peculiar about programs like Daytop is how they come to the decision to put a person in long term residential treatment to begin with. Do they follow ASAM criteria or do they just throw anyone in just because they need to fill a bed and oh yeah...fill their pockets with more state monies. I think its the latter. I don't see how someone with a few DWI's fits that criteria if thev'e never been in any other counseling at all. I wonder if any state regulatory authorities have ever really taken a good close look at Daytop to see if they are treating legitamate substance abusers or are they just taking anyone to fill their beds.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2005, 11:10:00 PM »
Well I can tell you this, my b/f said there's all kinds of characters in there, including hard core inmates getting out of prison.  He said it's the most obserd thing he's ever been through, but he's convinced the system will put him in jail if he doesn't complete the year "sentenance."  I know it's not doing him any good, just taking a year of his life and putting him on hold.  I'd like to know who comes out of this better?  They monitored his calls and I think he said something wrong because I haven't heard from him in 2 wks... I wonder if they listened in, or if someone told them what he said he thought of the place.  Scary.
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Offline odie

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Has anybody been to Daytop lately?
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2005, 02:05:00 PM »
The next time you speak to your boyfriend make sure he signs a release of confidentiality so you can speak with his counselor if you ever have questions or haven't heard from him in awhile. This way they can't stonewall you when you try to find out any info.

If TCs were interested in treating substance abuse, half the time they'd tell mom "Sorry ma'am, we can't help him. He's not an addict, he's just an asshole.
--GregFL

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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2005, 08:42:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-07-30 08:17:00, Three Springs Waygookin wrote:

"Murders, rapists? Tell him to learn how to make a shank... never know when that might come in handy. "

I can tell you for a fact that these types are at Daytop.  When I worked there, a kid (18yo) in my group just up and confessed to killing another boy over a drug deal.

I reported this to my director (Frank Lanza) and his response was "Don't say anything, just try to work with him.  If we tell the court they'll pull him and we'll have an empty bed.  We can't afford empty beds."
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2005, 11:00:00 AM »
How nice that these places respect human dignity the rules of law....not.  But for all you know, it could have been a group confession that has no basis in fact, just made up as a means to protect oneself or deflect attention.  

Money-grubbing bastards with no respect for human rights.
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Offline Troll Control

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« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2005, 11:49:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-08-04 08:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"How nice that these places respect human dignity the rules of law....not.  But for all you know, it could have been a group confession that has no basis in fact, just made up as a means to protect oneself or deflect attention.  



Money-grubbing bastards with no respect for human rights. "

This actually turned out to be legit.  Of course, my code of ethics prevented me from heeding the director's order.  I had to report to police BY LAW.  

The kid ended up being arrested and charged with 2nd degree murder.

That is sad in and of itself, but it's even sadder that people would overlook a dangerous violent felony to keep an ass in a chair...
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