Author Topic: unity and battle  (Read 1492 times)

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Offline katfish

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unity and battle
« on: April 02, 2005, 01:49:00 AM »
I would happily participate in working toward reforms and such.  Things have to change- at least at MMS.  
Commenting quickly, Mercer and Mike Finn were the two founders I found to be extremely abusive- though I believe Mike is no longer there.  Gary Kent would occasionally expressed dismay at their tactics through physical expression, but never did I hear him address Mercer or Finn verbally.

So, what can be done?  Things have to change... Is it true that music is prohibited.  It was regulated while I was there, but at the time was my only source of comfort.

I also relate to what 'Antigen' said about joke/private reality check.  Being so duplicitous is so straining and made me feel crazy. Lying and hearing those lies repeated back to me conforted me in the sense that it kept the sense that this was all a fictional experience (in a way) b/c it was as I was not developing.  I was hiding and repressing my core.  Out of everything, that was the worst aspect of MMS for me.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
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Offline kerryberry420

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unity and battle
« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2005, 02:32:00 PM »
hey kat!  i got your e-mail and i will write back soon.....anyway.  i totally agree with you, something needs to be done.  mms was a fictional experience for me in a lot of ways.  the truth was never believed and so i embellished it into a scary sexual and drug history until they got off my back, but then we had to focus on that so for a few years i was told i was a drug addcit and a sex addict, when in fact i was not.  my mom pulled out my "first homevisit plan" last night to show me what i had written on it, i was shocked.  i had made a list of food i could eat to deal with my "eating disorder" (i have never had an eating disorder, ut deb said i was about to have one), under the heading of "sex addiciton" it said i could not masturbate, i mean really that is just ridiculous.  i don't think a 15 can be a "sex addict", maybe they could be stuck in a cycle that would one day lead to that, but there is no way that i at 15, having slept with 2 people was a sex addict.  judging from my journal and assignments at mms i was diagnosed a "sex addict" because i masturbated (normal), looked at pornography (normal curiousity), and was "sexually abusive" to people.  i don't know where they got that but in fact i was sexually abused by other people.  i guess i was sexually abusive because i pursued having sex with my boyfriend.  they also said i was extremely violent and would probably end up being a serial killer, this was just becsuse i listened to heavy metal and dressed in all black.  it was totally unfair of them to put all that stuff in my head, i believed them, and then i was terrified of what i was going to become.  i thought there was no way out of it.  i was stuck.  i am not blaming them for everything, but i absolutley believe that they had a pretty big part in my downfall.  if i were as screwed up as they said i was would i have been able to quit doing heroin, smoking crack, and doing meth on my own?  i don't think so.  i quit doing drugs 2 years ago, no aa or na meetings, no rehab,  i just realized one day that i was not crazy, i was not a failure and i was capable of so much more.  and i haven't touched drugs since.  never "relapsed", never really even thought about it.  now could a bipolar, borderline personality, adhd, sociopathic, hopeless sex and drug addict have done that.  no.  they couldn't.  and just so you know i am not on any medication (excpet for anemia and hypothyroidism), i have a job, i go to school, and i have a great boyfriend.  oh and also, after i quit drugs i didn't have sex for a year and never really thouhgt about it either.  so i think all the diagnoses and "therapy" i received at mms just put of bunch of uneccesary pain and worries into my head that basically just broke me down.  these places NEED to be monitored by outside agencies!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Antigen

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unity and battle
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2005, 08:20:00 PM »
No, Kerry. If you had been an actual addict, you would not have been easily able to put down the drug to which you were addicted. (and very few people are ever actually addicted to more than one class of substance) From what you describe, you were what is known as a chipper; someone who may be abusing some drugs, but not addicted. You simply change your mind about it and that's pretty much the end of it.

But the only solution I know of to the problem of this spreading industry is for future prospects and marks to be educated about them. The pitch doesn't work if you understand it and see through it.

Can we get more people to understand it? I hope so. I don't know if we can ever get the true believers who are thoroughly sold on the whole thing to ever come around. They've got too much invested emotionally and intellectually to allow any sense or reason to threaten their illusions. But if we can get others to see them for what they are, that would do it.

But it's very complex. I get frustrated to NO end when people get overly-hysterical and try to make the Program proponants out to be 100%, cut-n-dry, no question about it monsters. They're not that. They're largely just misguided true believers. Even when they do commit overt acts of abuse, such as rape or beatings or other obviously bad behavior, their motive for hiding it is not that they approve of these things. It's that they think that the overall good of their cause justifies sweeping this little thing under the rug and handling it inhouse. They never seem to notice that, given the totalitarian environment they insist is therapeutic that these things always happen.

But if we can get people to understand how they operate and why they do what they do, maybe they'll see `em coming and not buy into the pitch.

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« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Anonymous

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unity and battle
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2005, 03:23:00 AM »
It is nice to see others joining in and sharing their stories. I think it is very helpful for people who have been through a life-altering experience to have a place where they can go to share their stories. At least to get reconnected with others who have been through the same things.

Sharing your story could mean the difference of a child going to MMS or not going to MMS. If parents are able to see the truth and to read the stories they may not only make the decision this is not where they want to send their child, but they might be able to understand their child better and what she is going through as a result of the stories you write.

I also think it is healthy to finally be able to say how you feel and know that others have been there too. I think the important thing is to remember that everyone's experiences are different and that just because someone viewed it as abusive and horrible and someone else semi-defends it, those are their experiences and everyone should be allowed to share and not be attacked.

So let's be very careful to listen with an open mind and an open heart. Everyone who finds their way here has had some sort of an experience with this industry. Enough said.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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unity and battle
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2005, 10:04:00 PM »
Dear Antigen,

             I am actually confused about what you are saying. What is the point to what you are saying? I am not trying to put you down you, but I just can't understand where you stand in all of this. Doyou agree with MMS's ways or not? what are your reasonings-in clear words-.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »