Author Topic: the truth about it...  (Read 9822 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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the truth about it...
« Reply #45 on: April 02, 2005, 04:38:00 PM »
Music wasn't prohibited, however it was music chosen by the staff and I found it to be horrible,haha. Some of the girls played instruments and sang and in the van and during art class we were allowed to listen to cds sometimes. It wasn't that bad, I understand the need for limiting the kinds of music that could be played.

My experience with Mike Finn was much different, he was the person who was the most helpful and supportive of me. Maybe he changed, he did retire however. Apparently so did Deb and Gary.

Melissa.
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #46 on: April 02, 2005, 07:39:00 PM »
I don't think we were actually fighting awhile back. I think maybe we got pretty close to falling back to the conditioned response, though; for or again, us vs them kinda thing. We would all do well to get better at seeing that coming and not falling for it.

As to what to do about the problem, I really think the best and most effective thing we can do is to just get people to look critically and notice what's going on in these places. It's way out of whack w/ accepted norms of our society. But they're so good a deamonizing all critics that the discussion doesn't usually get that far.

Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/188301123X/circlofmiamithem' target='_new'>George Washington

« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #47 on: April 03, 2005, 03:06:00 AM »
I thinks it is true. And here is how people can pay for it.

http://www.yourtuitionsolution.com/fami ... id=KNC-002
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #48 on: April 03, 2005, 09:07:00 AM »
I AM THE PARENT OF A YOUNG GIRL THAT EARNED THE PRIVILEGE OF ATTENDING MMS.  KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW ABOUT THE PROGRAM I WOULD NEVER RECOMMEND THE SCHOOL.  WE WERE MISLED BY AN OLDER ADVERTISEMENT AND BY THE STAFF.  I SAT IN JOHN MERCER'S OFFICE AND TOLD HIM THAT I DID NOT WANT TO SEND MY DAUGHTER TO MMS IF THE SCHOOLS POLICY WAS ONE OF BREAKING DOWN THE STUDENT TO BUILD THEM BACK UP.  I DID NOT WANT MY DAUGHTER PUNISHED FOR HER CHOICES BUT WANTED HER TO BE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FREE FROM DRUGS AND LEARN TO BE SELF CONFIDENT.  I REQUESTED FAMILY THERAPY WITH OUR DAUGHTER AND WAS LED TO BELIEVE IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE.  WHAT A JOKE THAT BRIEF 15 MINUTE SCHEDULED PHONE CALL EACH TIME WAS. MY VISITS TO THE SCHOOL WERE ABSOLUTELY APALLING!  BUT I FELT THERE WEREN'T MANY OPTIONS AT THE TIME.  THE MOST ABUSIVE PERSON ON STAFF AT THAT WAS DEB'S HUSBAND MIKE.  HE WAS COLD AND INTIMIDATING TO THE GIRLS.  SCREAMING, YELLING, AND NAME CALLING.  I FEEL THE SCHOOL FAILED NOT ONLY MY DAUGHTER BUT MOST OF THE GIRLS. MY HOPE IS THAT THE STRUCTURE HAS CHANGED.  I HEAR DEB AND MIKE ARE GONE. THAT IS A PLUS!!!  MY DAUGHTER HAS HAD A VERY DIFFICULT TIME TRUSTING PEOPLE AND BEING CLOSE TO THEM SINCE BEING AT MMS.  SHE IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD AND STILL HAS NIGHTMARES ABOUT BEING THERE.  MAY GOD FORGIVE ME FOR ALLOWING THAT TO HAPPEN TO HER.  SHE IS GOD'S PRECIOUS GIFT TO HER FAMILY
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Offline kerryberry420

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« Reply #49 on: April 03, 2005, 01:38:00 PM »
wow, it is great to hear from a parent.  the parents of the girls there honestly have no idea what is going on (according to my mom).  most of the parents, if they knew, i think would pull their daughters out.   there is very little contact between students and parents, and contact is often taken away as a punishment or "consequennce" even if it wasn't their daughter that did something "bad" mms really stresses group consequences.  which i think is unfair and unrealistic.  in the real world the group will rarely, if ever, take the consequences for one idividuals actions.  anyway, in response to the last post......when was your daughter there?  i was there from 1999 to 2001.  you should ask your  daughter to read these posts and see if she agrees.  i am sorry that your family had to go through all that pain, its great that you are still talking to your daughter.  i know one girl who left mms in pain because of what happened there (she had to live outside in a tent alone for 9 months) and when she got back home she couldn't assimilate back into society and has had years of turmoil, her family doens't talk to her anymore because of it.  she thinks mms had A LOT to do with that.  and i agree.  the staff used to tell my parents that if i didn't buy into the program, or screwed up when i came home that they should kick me out and not tlak to me anymore.  while i was at mms they thought i was "keeping secrets" and so they cancelled my family visits, phone calls, and they wouldn't let me write to them.  they had my parents write me a letter telling me that they didn't want any contact with me until i "got honest".  i didn't see my parents for a year.  so....i started lying.  and then i got to go on a home visit.  weird.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #50 on: April 03, 2005, 01:46:00 PM »
Thanks so much to the Mom for posting, it would be great if more parents would join in these discussions. Their experiences are from a different perspective and document the long term effects of this program and others like it. Someone very dear to me is currently a "student" at MMS, and based upon my personal experience, I am sad to say that I do not think things have changed much over the years. The program is, and will continue to be, a reflection of the person who runs it.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #51 on: April 04, 2005, 04:14:00 PM »
I do hope that other parents will post. Moms and dads. Fathers love their little girls too and if they are harmed in any way it would be nice to hear from them as well.
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #52 on: April 04, 2005, 07:32:00 PM »
Yes, it is good to hear from the parents. I have a question, too. Please don't take this the wrong way, but why did't you pull your daughter if you weren't happy w/ the school? You say there were few other options. What does that mean?

I'm not suggesting that, lacking the hind sight you now have, that there wasn't any good reason. I'm trying to tease out a little more of the parent's perspective. How did they go about keeping you hooked in?

If All it takes is an infinite number of monkeys with type writers, then how come there's no Shakespeare coming out of AOL?
-- Anonymous

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #53 on: April 05, 2005, 11:29:00 PM »
I have to agree with whoever said that different people were treated differently. While I was there (94-96) I saw Mike be a darling to some girls, the ones that he liked, and i saw him be totally abusive to girls that he didn't like, or that he thought were "needy". I saw him be particularly abuusive during group to girls that were younger (I would tellyou their names, but probably not a good idea, for privacy). I could also tell you the names of the girls that he did like, who were older, funnier). When it comes to John mercer, its hard for me to say, because he never really fucked with me...he picked his victims wisely. He knew how to make you cry at the dro of a hat, and I honestly think that he enjoyed every second of it. This was never my experience with him, but then again, iavoided himm a lot.These two men had the major impact on the girls there. Coleen? she didn't do anything. Deb? she only took care of the food and things... I think she herself has a major eating disorder. Gary was the only sane person there, but I think John andMike considered him a wimp, and never took him seriously. Since I left I did not keep in touch with anyone there for more than 1 month, but another girl has told me about the stuff that has gone on there, which if it is true, qualifies this place as unsafe for girls that are seeking therapy. I appreciate everyones posts; i come and check everyonce in a while. You guys are brave. Keep postin.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #54 on: April 07, 2005, 10:29:00 AM »
I think the State of Montana should be ashamed of itself for allowing MMS and others like it to circumvent the law by calling themselves boarding schools. How many legitimate boarding schools do not allow students to use the phone (privately), receive uncensored mail or have visitors? How many real boarding schools use students as forced laborers to shovel horse manure, clear brush, build fences and clean staff members houses. I would venture to say zero! These places are not boarding schools, but private and very profitable juvenile prisons. John Mercer is not a headmaster, but a warden, and his precious young inmates are being brainwashed and abused under the guise of education. The citizens of Montana need to wake up and realize that because of the non-existant child protective laws and lack of regulation, their state is becoming the mecca for abusive facilities being forced out of other states.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #55 on: April 07, 2005, 02:42:00 PM »
Definitely food for thought.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #56 on: April 18, 2005, 11:39:00 AM »
Wow! I started reading these posts about 1 month ago and now it's turned out to be a very heated subject!

I am  a MMS allumni and I remaining annonimous because I am afraid of the school! I will soon reveal myself, but I currently in the process of writing MY story first before I say anything without anonimity....someone was already threatned to be sued for posting their thoughts on the school! I have 2 children now and I do not want to put my family at any risk.

If you are interested in reading my story it will be done soon....please have patience. The reason why I am taking these actions is because I have been very thoughtful about filing a law suit against MMS. I have to be very careful about what I write so i am not portrayed as someone who just wants to take their hate out on the school.It is easy to identify someone in that way. When writing these things people can just blame you for being rebellious and hateful. I want everyone to know my full story before MMS,during MMS and after MMS. This will give everyone whole different perspective. and you can answer your own questions while reading my story. You can decide wether or not you believe If I was treated fairly and appropriately.

I think you will be shocked when you see my devastating history as a small child and the approach that MMS took to "heal" me, which was completely innapropriate.

Also, I would like to say that I went to school with Melissa and Kerry. For the record..they are not lying about what they are saying. This is not just a random viocious attack towards the school.
As a human being you know what is right and wrong...and the school is wrong. Even if someone girls say was some what good. it either is or it isn't. Everyone can be effected from any experience, so therefore,it could have changed anyone possitively or negatively.That is not the point of the discussion.

So over all the question is: Is Mission Mountain school, bad or good? with concrete evidence and information. This is something hard for people to identify because sometimes things were fun at that school..but look at it this way. If a person abuses another does that make them bad or good? in order to make a clear point it is important to state specific situations. Some girls will tell you that it was a great school, and it was in the purpose that it had, like a church...it is great, but just because it has a great purpose it doesn't mean that the purpose was served.  People can say "well MMS was made to toughfen you up." yes true, but what lines were crossed?

Also was Mision Mountain School a problem as an entire school including all the staff?...If all the staff were witnesses to what ocurred there and let it slide they too are guilty. They had the option of working there. If you saw girls being treated innapropriately or felt that something was not right, would you continue on working there?

I would like to give you all some information to think about so you have something concrete to look at. It is about the headmaster of the school and a few specific things that he would do that I did not agree with.

-->The one who has main control of the school is John Mercer, he is the headmaster. He is definetly to blame for most of the things that occur and have occured in the school. While I was a current student at the school I would have believed anything John told me.
     He could manipulate anyone into believing anything. If he told me that the sky was green I would have believed him, and if I didn't believe him he would used anything in his power to make me believe. I was told that I was a sex addict, drug addict, alcoholic, and I believed it.I am not any of those, but he told me, so I was.
      John Mercer believes that he is like a "God". I am not saying this to make fun. He believes that he has control over powers in the world. He believes that the world revolves around him. that the sun comes out for him and goes down for him. He thinks that he had the right to make us wait for him for hours (while all the girls waited to receive a dose of therapy on "john nights") becase he is that important. Sometimes we would wait from 8:00pm-1:00am or more. What was he doing while we waited? I've always wondered. He was probably sitting in his living room watching T.V for hours or sipping a cup of tea making himself late on purpose...so when he arrived (like kings do) we would be so grateful that he atleast came. We should have been atleast grateful to even had the chance to look at him,as he probably thought.
   We all waited together.. making a circle of about 32 girls..just sitting there restlessly for hours, not being able to talk to eachother. Sitting in fear of him wondering who was going to pick on tonight.
   Why in the world do I need to wait for anyone extensive hours? When he met with us he would he would make it seem like he had just finished doing a great deal of paper work and research for our sakes. As if he had been thinking about us for all those hours. As if he had been putting so much thought in to us. Didn't he have to whole week to do that? We only saw him one time a week as a whole group, and we were only 32 or so girls.
How hard can it be? (and remember our parents payed him a great deal of money so it's not like he was doing all out of his heart) What was it $80,000 per girl/ year- so about $80,000 x 32? wow....maybe he was off spending all that money. I wish I knew the whole truth.


If any of you other allumni have anything else to add about this specific situation please do!! Let's give examples one at a time!like this one so we can all dicuss things orderly..(people won't have to look back and ask us over and over about different situations)This is the -WAITING FOR JOHN GROUP-NITES- SITUATION.

to everyone else...what do you think about this specific situation? would you have waited hours and hours for someone, who greatly benefits financially from you? Do they have the right to waste your time? What do you think about all this?

Please identify me as annonimous-Angel or Angel  when you are replying to me. Thank you.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #57 on: April 18, 2005, 03:22:00 PM »
Angel,
Thank you so much for posting your experiences. I hope we get a chance to see your complete story in the near future!
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Offline kerryberry420

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« Reply #58 on: April 19, 2005, 02:30:00 PM »
hi angel! i have been waiting to hear from you.  wow, you are a really great writer....anyway, i can't wait to read your story.  talk to you soon.  love, kerry
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Offline granny19

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« Reply #59 on: April 25, 2005, 11:15:00 PM »
I hope you all don't quit posting. I am interested in everything you have to say because someone very dear to me is currently at MMS. Please bring forth more information.Thanks!
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