OPINIONS...

[Anonymous]

So from what I've read hear for the past week, I have come to the conclusion that many; if not all people responding to this forum dislike "programs".

By saying that, I have yet to read anything posted by anyone pertaining to a "good" program?

Are there no reputibale "schools" for troubled teens?  When I say troubled, meaning; children who have special needs, anger management, behavioral & learning difficulties, etc...  Real serious needs & not just a baby sitting service.

I'm not looking to put anyone in a place, just inquiring to the "board" if such a place exsits?

Or is every "school" the same?  Warehousing children, mental, physical & sexual abuse, poor food quality, lack of accredited teachers, no license, etc...?

[Watchaduen]

I do believe that there are good schools out there.  Yet, you will never find them coming to a board such as this.  They don't need to.  They don't need to advertise.  They are usually regulated by many entities.  No abuse and horror stories when the children leave.  
  The summer of 2003 I started looking for a school for my son.  I did what so many parents of today do.  Started my search on the internet.  After many hours of discussion on the phone we decided on Bethel Boys Academy aka Eagle Point Christian Academy, Lucedale, MS.  We had spoke with the owner, Pastor Herman Fountain.  Our son was to get one on one schooling, therapy, activities, daily Bible studies and church twice a week.  It was a private christian military academy.  In actuality, our son was severely beaten, tortured, starved and deprived of sleep, water and bathroom privileges.
I, in my small upper middle class world, NEVER even knew these child abuse homes existed!!!!

[Deborah]

"By saying that, I have yet to read anything posted by anyone pertaining to a "good" program?"

There are a number of people that swear by their program of choice and who post here. "Good" is a very relative and subjective term, as are abuse, neglect, therapeutic, lock-down, isolation, brainwashing, etc, etc, etc. Consensus has never been reached in the many debates I've been a part of. Program parents seem much more flexible in terms of what is acceptable 'treatment', and/or are ignorant and want to stay that way.

Kids generally do better in life when their parents buckle down and learn how to be parents.
No kidding. Watch Nanny 911 or Super Nanny to see the transformation in the kids when the parents get their priorities straight. It's not really different with teens.

Sending one's child away to strangers is not responsible or good modeling for the next generation, imho. Psychiatric patients and prisoners have more rights and are treated better than kids, in most of the programs I'm aware of.

Try this nightmare: The trend continues. Kids are placed out of the home earlier and earlier, until it becomes acceptable and desirable to place your toddler- "the sooner the better, right?".
Your toddler will be conditioned from very early on to be the model citizen. Raised in a bubble, isolated from life itself, conditioned for 'perfection', by someone's definition. Damn, sounds like Skinner's box.

Continue your research and you'll most likely fall on one side or the other, eventually.

[Perrigaud]

There will always be something said about whatever school. To find one that is 100% supported is impossible. It's about research, your own values, and in the end your choice. Life is like that as well. That's the beauty of it (Diversity).

[Dolphin]

Perrigaud was at Cross Creek Manor.  Cross Creek provides what it takes to be a successful graduate (if the grad chooses to use it) You'll probably read negatives about it and my take on the "why" is because it is so successful that other program directors/ed cons, etc., that post here don't like the competition.  Most programs do their best to follow their model.

[Perrigaud]

Thanks Dolphin. The thing with Cross Creek is that it becomes tabboo. They label it as brainwash. What people refuse to see or even accept is the fact that they are more than happy to encourage individual thinking. That it's not brainwashing. It's about a different point of view. It has licensed therapists. I learned a lot and took in what I felt held validity. What I didn't find useful I simply didn't take in. That's what therapists do. They help by offering insight. It's my belief that everyone could use a different point of view. As far as those who say the parents are brainwashed and all about the program are being silly. If the program helped them and their kids what is the harm in them supporting it? It's along the line of someone ridiculing an avid religious person. Who are they to belittle what works for that person? I'm not religious personally. It's not for me. However I will never make fun of someone or even tell them they are being brainwashed by that religion. If it works for them then by all means they should keep going. Judgement makes people look ignorant.

[Anonymous]

perrigaud,
shocking you were at cross creek, you really seem like a nice geniune person. maybe it does help some, just not the majority.

[Perrigaud]

I used to be a total psycho. I actually get that response a lot. The program helped but I also did the work by wanting to change. Anything anyone truly wants is attainable. However, it's not always easy. I had a record at the age of 14 that was long and colorful to say the least. I was a ball of anger that took it our physically. Could you believe that I gave a guy 31 stiches from punching him. Yeah, lots of hidden resentments and undealt past experiences. I refuse to ever be that way again. It hurts too much. I truly hated the person I was.

[Anonymous]

of course we all dislike programs. hopefully anyone looking at this forum will get taht.

[Perrigaud]

I don't hate the program. I don't even dislike it. I hate (i mean that) that there is abuse. That's wrong.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-03-13 00:42:00, Perrigaud wrote:

"I used to be a total psycho. I actually get that response a lot. The program helped but I also did the work by wanting to change. Anything anyone truly wants is attainable. However, it's not always easy. I had a record at the age of 14 that was long and colorful to say the least. I was a ball of anger that took it our physically. Could you believe that I gave a guy 31 stiches from punching him. Yeah, lots of hidden resentments and undealt past experiences. I refuse to ever be that way again. It hurts too much. I truly hated the person I was. "

Oh?  Were you bipolar, schizophrenic, or depressed with schizoaffective features?  Or did you inflict painful actual serious physical injury on people for fun?

If none of the above, then please don't say you were "psycho"---I hate to be politically correct, and *usually* I don't give a crap about convetional slang.  But people who come here frequently have kids with actual mental illnesses and I sure don't want them to confuse the issue of juvenile delinquency with other problems.

There is no cure nor even an effective treatment for genuine psychopaths.  There's some pretty good evidence that their brains are broken in certain ways, and we just don't have ways of fixing it.

From what you said you were a j.d.

I'm not trying to put you down or anything, and I'm not trying to be trivially nitpicking or PC.

Just...I guess your problems were bad enough, but people with mental illnesses have enough trouble without the stereotypes.  So don't exaggerate, okay?

In this case, it's a little like someone saying, "Yeah, he was workin' us like a bunch a' n******s."

There are psychotic people who take their meds and don't go out and hurt people.  They just hallucinate, get delusions, and hear voices and stuff off their meds.  

They aren't j.d.'s---their brains are just broken, and they didn't ask for it, and they almost always didn't do anything to cause it, and all they can do to control it is to take their meds---for the ones who are responsive to one of the current medications, anyway.  You can't "therapize" out of being psychotic.

Yeah, I know it's conventional usage for any irrational, wildly warped or violent person---but in the context *here* I have a problem with it.

Okay, it's my "issue"---but that's how I feel about it.

Timoclea

[Perrigaud]

Timoclea,
  Feel however you want to feel. I personally felt like I had lost my mind. And yes I did inflict pain on others to get pleasure. In using the word that I did I meant to. I'm not throwing that word around. That's where I do disagree. There are people who can lose their mind but gain it back later. And of course there are the cases like the ones you mentioned. JD? As much as you say you aren't placing judgement I feel that you are. That's my opinion. By minimzing my "acting out" behavior is not appreciated.

[Antigen]

Perrigaud, I think you're missing Timoclea's point. I don't think she's trivializing your situation at all. Just pointing out the difference between behavior that people refer to as psycho and actual uncontrolable behavior due to real psychosis.

There's real peril in mixing the two up. In your case, you had a choice. You may have felt or worried that you'd lost your sanity. But, as it turns out, you were able to change your behavior through your own will. Evidently, you were able to control yourself well enough to not get shipped off to TB. Some kids can't do that. And one of the major complaints about the troubled parent industry is that they have nothing close to a legitimate screening process. If you had been actually psychotic, you would not have been able to control yourself and you might still be face down on a tile floor under the weight of some Jamaican.

We ought to be grateful that our government monopoly schools are such a failure. If today's 18 year olds could do arithmetic, they'd be out buying enough rope to hang everybody over 40.
--Alan Handleman on Social Security

[BSarro]

Ginger,                                                           I think you should call the industry either  The Teen Help Industry or  The Troubled Teen Industry,NOT The Troubled Parent Industry.How do you even expect parents to come to your way of thinking if they will not come here because you refer to them as troubled right off the bat?Why do you feel that all teens behavior is the fault of the parents?

[Erinys]

Thank you Antigen! You are correct.

I have a sister who is schizophrenic. She has a severe case. Without medication she is subject to frightening delusions and hallucinations involving all 5 senses.

She finds these episodes very, very terrifying. No, she cannot control them by will alone. Yes, she can be a danger to herself and others when psychotic.

I also may have a touch of this. I have been known to hear and see things,  have feelings of unreality, strange ideas of reference etc.  A major difference is that I do not find these phenomena nearly so terrifying.  Nor am I a danger to myself or others when they are happening.

(Said I wasn't dangerous, didn't say I wasn't annoying.)

My sister now  takes her medication regularly and that  has it's own problems.

My own episodes have diminished greatly over the past decades. But interestingly enough, when I quit smoking and drinking for a week or so I had some days of well,  Weird City Again!

History does not record anywhere or at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unkonwn without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.
--Robert A. Heinlen, American science-ficiton author