Author Topic: Growing Together - What to do  (Read 15293 times)

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Offline Helena Handbasket

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Growing Together - What to do
« Reply #75 on: May 22, 2005, 11:02:00 AM »
Quote

  Hi Concerned Mom,



  Just wondered how you and your son are doing, and what, if anything you decided to do for help for him?

  I hope that you've been able to find something to help and feel like things are moving in a better direction for him and your family.



  Signed a program participant who wasn't abused, brainwashed, or tortured... but someone who benefited from some structure and guidelines."


Darren?  I've missed you!

Sorry I haven't been able to post, I've been locked up for a while - possession of a  new job,  forced to spend the last few months traveling. :smile:

Concerned Mom, I've read your posts, and I don't know if you're still checking back, but here goes:

There is nothing a program can do for your kid that you can't.  Nothing.  The only difference is that when your kid comes thru your training (let's call it), they're still your kid and not some indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing.

Kids go thru shit - no doubt.  But subjecting them to torture and brainwashing doesn't solve the problem, it only fills in uncertainty with pre-recorded crap that doesn't pertain to the real world at all.  

I do hope you've made a good decision at this point.

Sara-come-lately.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #76 on: May 22, 2005, 02:31:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-22 08:02:00, ~-=Sara=-~ wrote:

"
Quote


  Hi Concerned Mom,





  Just wondered how you and your son are doing, and what, if anything you decided to do for help for him?


  I hope that you've been able to find something to help and feel like things are moving in a better direction for him and your family.





  Signed a program participant who wasn't abused, brainwashed, or tortured... but someone who benefited from some structure and guidelines."




Darren?  I've missed you!



Sorry I haven't been able to post, I've been locked up for a while - possession of a  new job,  forced to spend the last few months traveling. :smile:



Concerned Mom, I've read your posts, and I don't know if you're still checking back, but here goes:



There is nothing a program can do for your kid that you can't.  Nothing.  The only difference is that when your kid comes thru your training (let's call it), they're still your kid and not some indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing.



Kids go thru shit - no doubt.  But subjecting them to torture and brainwashing doesn't solve the problem, it only fills in uncertainty with pre-recorded crap that doesn't pertain to the real world at all.  



I do hope you've made a good decision at this point.



Sara-come-lately.







"

  damn   I thought we were rid of you and your brainless posts for good.
  well, it was nice while it lasted.  can't you go "travel" some more? please?    :wink:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Helena Handbasket

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« Reply #77 on: May 22, 2005, 02:53:00 PM »
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  damn   I thought we were rid of you and your brainless posts for good.

  well, it was nice while it lasted.  can't you go "travel" some more? please?    :wstupid:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline dbucfan

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« Reply #78 on: May 24, 2005, 09:06:00 PM »
Not mine babe...
I have learned my lesson Sarah...I will only post when i am signed in...i learned that from being impersonated by a few infants on the board...anyway, i have missed you too and our spirited conversations. but i do tend to agree with what anonymous said (as you know) and i really dont feel like an "indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing" but hey...you know the program and me more than even I do.
good luck with the job thing. :grin:
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #79 on: May 25, 2005, 10:07:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-24 18:06:00, dbucfan wrote:

"Not mine babe...

I have learned my lesson Sarah...I will only post when i am signed in...i learned that from being impersonated by a few infants on the board...anyway, i have missed you too and our spirited conversations. but i do tend to agree with what anonymous said (as you know) and i really dont feel like an "indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing" but hey...you know the program and me more than even I do.

good luck with the job thing. :grin: "


It doesn't bother you at all that your parents gave up their responsibility to properly parent you to a group of uneducated kids?
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Offline dbucfan

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« Reply #80 on: May 26, 2005, 06:37:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-25 19:07:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote


On 2005-05-24 18:06:00, dbucfan wrote:


"Not mine babe...


I have learned my lesson Sarah...I will only post when i am signed in...i learned that from being impersonated by a few infants on the board...anyway, i have missed you too and our spirited conversations. but i do tend to agree with what anonymous said (as you know) and i really dont feel like an "indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing" but hey...you know the program and me more than even I do.


good luck with the job thing. :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline Helena Handbasket

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« Reply #81 on: June 19, 2005, 09:23:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-24 18:06:00, dbucfan wrote:

"Not mine babe...

I have learned my lesson Sarah...I will only post when i am signed in...i learned that from being impersonated by a few infants on the board...anyway, i have missed you too and our spirited conversations. but i do tend to agree with what anonymous said (as you know) and i really dont feel like an "indoctrinated shell of a human with some pieces missing" but hey...you know the program and me more than even I do.

good luck with the job thing. :grin: "


Yeah Darren, it has been a long time.

Just tell me something.  How can you pledge allegiance to a program - put you and your situation aside for a minute - that willfully ignores big fat red flags that a "client" may not be a "druggie".  How do you just let it slide?  How do you revere an institution that may have helped a few, such as yourself, but disrupted the lives of many who did not belong there?

I could go into what I've dealt with in the past year in trying to  help the person that threw me into that hellhole in the first place.  The money spent, the time wasted... it doesn't matter - because it helped YOU, and YOU are all that matters, right? Your life, your kids, your little deed restricted community, right?  

Don't you ever wonder why drunken, drug addicted parents could have their kids locked up without a question asked?  Does that not disturb you?

Well that's what went on, friend.  I'm not the only one, just the one with the big mouth.

Cheers!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline rez1990

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« Reply #82 on: June 20, 2005, 06:15:00 PM »
sara i dont think i know you, but i always like what you have to say.  u and i would get along great, you tend to say what it is that im thinking especialy when i comes to dealing with darren.

peace, jay
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
he great pleasure in life is doing
  what people say you cannot do..walter baghot..if you dont want to slip dont go where its slippery..Mrs. Petermann.

Offline Helena Handbasket

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« Reply #83 on: June 20, 2005, 07:51:00 PM »
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On 2005-06-20 15:15:00, rez1990 wrote:

"sara i dont think i know you, but i always like what you have to say.  u and i would get along great, you tend to say what it is that im thinking especialy when i comes to dealing with darren.



peace, jay"


Ah, another great mind!  :wink:
You probably wouldn't know me - I was in and out in '84 - before they built the "rez".  The host homes were bad enough, but then they had to make it an honest-to-diety prison, didn't they?
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uly 21, 2003 - September 17, 2006

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #84 on: June 20, 2005, 10:13:00 PM »
Sara

 I'm another one that the program helped.
 As for those who weren't "druggies", didn't really matter as drugs weren't the focus.  Attitude, communication, and learning to make better decisions was.   ANYONE COULD have benefitted from their time there, IF they chose to.
  As for alcoholic, or drug using parents?  I remember at least a couple parents who were confronted for drinking while their child was in the program, and later were let go from the program when the use continued.  That was a no no for parents too, so if your mom was using you wouldn't have stayed in the program much longer either.
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Offline Helena Handbasket

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« Reply #85 on: June 21, 2005, 09:47:00 PM »
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On 2005-06-20 19:13:00, Anonymous wrote:

" Sara



 I'm another one that the program helped.

 As for those who weren't "druggies", didn't really matter as drugs weren't the focus.  Attitude, communication, and learning to make better decisions was.   ANYONE COULD have benefitted from their time there, IF they chose to.

Well, I don't buy it, and I don't see how anyone can, particularly when the first question you're asked is "What's your drug list", and the whole focus WAS on drugs.  They never asked about "depressed friends" or "anorexic friends" or stashes of junk food you intended to binge on.  The only word heard day after day was "drugs" or "druggie".  Except when they focused on sex, then the buzzword was "twisted".  You gotta wonder why they were so focused on "twisted" sex.

And what if your problem was child abuse?  Why was it never asked if there was abuse in the home?

Quote

  As for alcoholic, or drug using parents?  I remember at least a couple parents who were confronted for drinking while their child was in the program, and later were let go from the program when the use continued.  That was a no no for parents too, so if your mom was using you wouldn't have stayed in the program much longer either. "


I remember Petermann smelling booze in an open meeting once - but didn't know where it was coming from.  I did :smile:  Funny, after I left the place, someone was on the phone every day for two weeks trying to get me to come back.  So the logic follows that they weren't really good at figuring out who the drunken parents were.  

Makes you wonder how they figured out who the druggie kids were.
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Offline rez1990

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« Reply #86 on: June 23, 2005, 08:21:00 AM »
First to reply to sara, you are right the focus seemed to be drugs.  I myself was not a "druggie" but was brought in by my mother who is a high end bi-polar currently splitting her time between costal recovery and jail.  Funny that the highly trained staff could not see through her F.O.S. behavior.  Long story short (to late i know)I was a run away not a druggie but because looney toon mom told mrs.pete that i was i sat on 1st phase for 3 months because i would not talk about my druggie past.  Finally i made up drug using stories based on things i heard from the other lifers and finally began to phase. When I reached fith 10 months later i bolted and did not look back, well untill the popo caught up with me.
  On a lighter side, anyone who was in during the early 90's remeber a 6 phaser who came to group high on mushroom's that was a hoot.  let's not be angry with each other, for we all share something in comman which the average joe cant comprehend.  just agree to disagree and move on, trying to remember the friends we made.  Then if we have any spare time burn down the place,Ha!
I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HAVE ANOTHER REUNION FOR THE LIFERS, I HAVE MISSED THE OTHER ONES CAUSE I NEVER KNEW ABOUT THIS WEB SITE. SO ANY ONE INTERESTED LETS GET SOMETHING GOING, MABE IT WILL HELP US HEAL.  
   SARA YOUR STILL MY FAV.  :nworthy:  
PEACE, JAY.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
he great pleasure in life is doing
  what people say you cannot do..walter baghot..if you dont want to slip dont go where its slippery..Mrs. Petermann.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #87 on: June 23, 2005, 06:47:00 PM »
Jay

 when were you in?

  I heard that there will be another reunion for Life.

 kim
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Offline rez1990

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« Reply #88 on: June 24, 2005, 01:51:00 PM »
Kim,
  I was in from feb 1990 to dec 1992.  
It would be great to see everyone. :grin:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
he great pleasure in life is doing
  what people say you cannot do..walter baghot..if you dont want to slip dont go where its slippery..Mrs. Petermann.

Offline basketball

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hi concerned mom
« Reply #89 on: April 24, 2007, 12:42:01 PM »
howz your son now?
did you put him in GT?
does he wake up at night now screaming?
is every relationship a problem now?
is he drinking and doing more drugs than before the 'program'?
well, i hope not, but that's really what happens to nine outta ten.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »