General Interest > Open Free for All
Things that make me chuckle..
Cayo Hueso:
The Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/i ... onkeys.htm
Whenever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force.
Thomas Jefferson: Kentucky Resolutions, 1798
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Antigen:
" Don?t know our readership very well, do you? They?re not just drunks, they?re ambitious drunks. It?ll become an organized pilgrimage of sorts, I imagine. Soon the drunks and the monkeys will be having great shin-digs together. Imagine drinking with a bunch of crazed, uncivilized monkeys! Think of the depths of depravity they?ll sink to! I shudder at the very notion! "
It's us! It's us!
Never let your sense of
morals get in the way of
doing what's right
--Isaac Asimov
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Cayo Hueso:
Be sure to click next at the bottom and see How to Fend Off Religious Nuts!!
http://drunkard.com/issues/10_04/10-04-survival.htm
HOW TO SURVIVE AN A.A. MEETING
1.) Do not make eye contact.
If you do, make sure your eyes do not flicker toward the flask in your pocket because your eyes will always give you away.
2.) Do not surrender your will.
When asked to stand up and confess you are an alcoholic, you should mumble ?I am an agoraholic.? If they catch on to your ruse, let out a yelp and bolt outside to prove you are indeed addicted to wide open spaces.
3.) Do not brag about your drinking prowess.
If you catch yourself mentioning the time you chugged tequila while being held upside down by four nude hookers, make sure you close the story with, ?Man, that totally sucked.?
4.) Refrain from making ?lip farts? or other disparaging sounds during members? tearful confessions.
Keep in mind that some segments of society consider drinking a twelve-pack of beer in a single sitting to be ?hardcore boozing.?
5.) Avoid getting drawn into the prayer circle at the end of the meeting.
This can sometimes lead to hugging. Announce that you belong to an animist sect and bark aggressively if anyone attempts to hold your hand.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Perl Services
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Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-03-02 19:24:00, Cayo Hueso wrote:
5.) Avoid getting drawn into the prayer circle at the end of the meeting.
This can sometimes lead to hugging. Announce that you belong to an animist sect and bark aggressively if anyone attempts to hold your hand.
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Damn! I wish I'd thought of that! Would have been a whole lot better than going along w/ Pam's thing about me staring at her tits!
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-- George Carlin
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Anonymous:
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