Former staff forgivable??

[ladyjerrico]

I'm not really sure who is to blame actually, is it really staff or the people that told staff to do this.
In my opinion.. now we all have our opinions so try to keep an open mind. If staff really didn't want to do all this to us, they would not. They had a say in whatever job they wanted to do cuz this is a free country. I don't know how the pay was, but I'm sure with all the knowledge they had (the good stuff, not the bad) about rehab and such they could have got a better job being a councellor or something.. that is my opinion.
As far as who told them to do this, I'm not sure why someone didn't find something wrong with when it all happened and this facility was open.
I guess they were the ones who had the wool over their eyes, and not the "phasers" who did what they are told to do.

[Sophie]

I was a fifth phase staff in training, then graduated and went on to be a paraprofessional.  I went on staff because I was freaked out about leaving alltogether, And I didn't know what else to do.  As crazy as the place was, it was all I knew after 13 months. It felt safe to stay...then it got ugly when I found out about all the politics.  Does anyone remember that we were not allowed to read newspaper articles about straight while we were in it.  Unbelievable. Anyway,  I quit when I got in trouble for hanging out with a "cop out".  Actually, I was on staff and dating a cop out and a fifth phaser saw us together and told on me.  I knew I was good at leading raps... I never yelled at anyone or was abusive... I knew that the place wasn't going anywhere (at the time) and thought I could bring some gentleness to the place.  Not everyone who worked there was evil.

[ladyjerrico]

Like I said, I wasn't sure who to blame.. maybe the person who started this whole mess, from what I understand it's the Ambassodor of Italy now.
It sounds like you were afraid of authority above you, which I understand, I get that way myself even to this day.
Yes I remember we couldn't read the newspaper, heck, we couldn't even read poster signs on the freeway!
I guess they were afraid the phasers would find out about all the politics going on and we would tell our parents and get lawyers or something, they didn't want to be sued, but I know eventually a lot of that did happen.. they couldn't run forever.
I don't want to say all staff were bad because there were one or two that were fine, but a lot of them loved to yell and have authority over people.. those are the ones I'm talking about and I'm still uncertain as to wheather or not to blame them.

[Tampa survivor]

The whole mindset of "quit yer whining and suck it up" is exactly why I left surgery for anesthesia...
Kris, as an RN, that statement tells me alot about you.  Dealing with primadonnas is what made me hate straight.  I had you in mind when I started this thread, but I never knew you...i was long gone by then.  I hope your nights are filled with more sleep and less regret, as you work through it all.  
Bill

[Majiktrvls]

It seems to me that the whole purpose of this forum is to heal, and to help one another to heal, to listen with an open mind, and to add input if we so desire.It is not to bash each other for whatever thoughts or feelings we as individuals have for our time spent at Straight. I for one do not have to pay any attention to persons who are obviously here to do more damage to our souls. Enough of that has already been done.

[enough]

Well for my own part each time I read a post from someone still 'asleep' I feel sad for them. I wish I could help them, but helping myself is enough work.

However, I have been online for a really long time, I started usign the net shortly after I left Straight when it was still a text only newsgroup environment, or even just BBS's - and even then, when the average IQ of netizens was MUCH higher, there were 'flamers' whose lives were centered around anonymous attacks, name calling, and gnerally acting like the idiotarians that they are.

Nothing new under the sun.

All war is deception -Sun Tzu

[Tampa survivor]

God, what happened to the days where not being able to run DOS kept the swarming masses away from the net?Remember when Prodigy cost $9 a month??? Well, FLAMERS have always been around, and always will.  Little geek-peeps with no life.  
This bbs is the only place where many of us can talk about the program with folks who understand.  Those pecker -headed straightlings who lurk about anonomously and post unintelligent drivel are still living it.  That is my satisfaction, knowing that they still believe. Don't talk bad about the group.  That's heresy.    How PATHETIC.
I will post tough, type my beliefs, and look forward to the discussions that ensue.  I can easily be reached by phone by anyone who really wants to argue the point. I learned a long time ago it is easy to throw stones from BEHIND a wall
Bill
12/80-12/82
St Pete&ATL

[enough]

Remember spending $22/hr for prime time Compuserve?

Remember buying that first ten meg hard drive for $1000?

Ok Ok ..off topic ...but i had to share it...I felt so cheated...blah blah blah

[ladyjerrico]

If I really knew who was at fault I wouldn't be so upset, but still awaiting that result on my end and nobody seems to want to share it, so that is why I am still angry and hurt.
If I had a resolution and could put this to a close, I would probably understand why all this happened. So, don't bash me for my thoughts, I just don't know who to blame and still upset over what happened and why the staff memebers couldn't think for themselves and figure out that this was totally and imorrally wrong!

[enough]

I have no desire to bash you.

I only wish to try and explain it as best I can. We could not think for ourselves because we had been robbed of that capacity.

Thought reform is a powerful and sophisticated process that was well understood by the designers of the modality.

Ultimately I blame Ambassador Sembler, Mr. Zappala and the other neo-con zealots who refused to allow any legitimate medical or clinical evaluation from professionals not already connected to the program, or in the program's pocket.

When several members of the original board of directors tried to change this, Sembler and Co. resisted, the more moderate members of the board walked out, and left the zealots in control.

There were no checks and balances, by design, from the top. It would have prevented the program from growing as fast as it did, and from developing the political base that was its  true purpose.

Fear is a powerful motivator, and if there is one thing that most staffers shared it was  fear of the people above us in the COC.

[ladyjerrico]

Not sure what you mean by "zealots" or COC. I agree that Mel Sembler had much to do with this and doesn't seem to care one way or the other about our problems. I just don't know why anyone has tried to protest the acts of mental, physical, sexual and emotional abuse which occured during this. Why didn't the state come in and take a look to see what is happening? Yeah, the big wigs were behind all this, but there must be a reason why it continued for so long.
Also the fact I understand we were "brainwashed", however, why was none of this ever brought out to the public a LONG time ago? Someone must have been paid off big time or possibly like you say it was a political thing.
Sigh, only if the outsiders knew a lot of what was going on, they would have probably called the state in to investigate, even though many things were covered up and still nothing was said.
Tis sad

[Shelby]

"good staff member"?  What a fucking paradox. Here are some obvious facts...

1. Straight wouldn't have existed if it weren't for staff

2. These people received a paycheck for abusing us

3. They were there of their own free will - "brainwashed" or not, it was still their decision

There were no good staff members, at least not in my day. Some were better than others, but that isn't saying much.

I don't blame staff for anything that has gone wrong in my life, but I won't be forgiving what they did to me, either.

Shelby (Cornwell) Earnshaw
st. Pete/VA 82-84
[email protected]

[kaydeejaded]

I really forgive most every staff person that went from the program to staff. It is the execs that really still make my blood boil but in truth I would rather have been abused by them then be them. Their cold black hearts really are their living hell. Never in a million years could I watch children be tortured by each other for God's sake and have no emotion. Never. These people were evil incarnate and their punishment is written on the books they have gotten their karma and justice will be served to them accordingly. as for the others I really can almost understand how they were so completely unprepared for life outside of the program after all Straight was a cult and some of us were brainwashed some weren't and some snapped out of it. As a misbehavior staff was not even ever an option for me but there were people there for so long it was there entire life like a sick cult and that was all they knew. I dunno I am rambling again. No hard feelings to all u x-staffers that know now what they did and to the rest my pity. love you all :smile:

[Anonymous]

Shelby writes:

3. They were there of their own free will - "brainwashed" or not, it was still their decision

Umm, doesn't being brainwashed preclude a person's free will?

[Tampa survivor]

Depends on the definition used.
Brainwashed, version 1:  Yeah I shouldn't have done that,oops, not my fault.

Brainwashed, version 2: Wow, I was totally fucked up.  I ruined lived, permitted abuse, starved people, and was unfit for society. I would kill somebody who would do this to my kid today. I bought the whole cannolli.  Please forgive me, I REALLY believed and now I know I was wrong.
VERY DIFFERENT