Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

When did the Seed close on SR84?

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cleveland:
I don't know why I feel so nostalgic for the Seed - honestly I was unhappy there a great majority of the time. Last night, I went through all of the email correspondance I've had in the 18 months or so since I found this site and reconnected with some of my fellow seedlings, and the memories came in so strong - sitting in the raps and feeling bored and anxious, looking at that You're Not ALONE Anymore sign until I thought I would lose it; trying to 'cry' and relate in the group and feeling empty inside instead; being afraid to do or say something 'non-seedlike' in front of a staff member or oldcomer, always having a lump in my throat or butterflies in my stomach. When ever I did manage to have some fun, it was like a short burst of sunshine in a grey sky.

And yet I still dream about the seed, and think about it a lot, and spend too much time on this forum. Why?

I feel like I am sort of forever sitting at the front gate, listening to the sounds of the everglades and the group in the background, waiting for my life to begin.

GregFL:
Ah Com'n Walter, you don't really feel that way.


Do you?

Johnny G:
I only found this forum a short time ago, but I find myself spending more time here than I would have expected.

It provides me withan opportunity to peek inside the door I closed when I left.  All of those people I called my friends, those I feared and those I would have gotten to know better under different circumstnces, as well as those I never would have interacted with at all.  We had some very intense and not so intense experiences together, regardless of the total time involved.  

We are bound by common experiences in spite of the varoius time frames and evolution of the program. - the inability to share anything but positive emotions, denial of the negative although both were present, only the mix varies

The forum provides other viewpoints which have have made me look at things from another angle and re-evaluate some things I thought I had tied down - confirmned some things I assumed then, but later doubted and vice versa.

It's like pulling things back form the memory hole.  I have thought more about that time in the past several weeks than ever.  I have been trying to pull back the names and faces from the lost days.  those who left before me and those I left behind - almost all were lost to me.  

I think it would be good to sit down over a beer or otherwise and chat with some of the old group but I fear this is as close as I will get to that.

It does me good to read of some of the things I remember happening, and about the unspoken events (dissapearences, restarts, relationships, etc.)

Ft. Lauderdale:
I guess it brings out the obsessive compulsive in all of us.   ::bigsmilebounce::

GregFL:
I think sitting down over a beer (or a coke, pepsi, whatever) with any of you guys is a cool idea.

I live in central florida. Anyone coming this way look me up.

Recently Chris and I and his wonderfully silly son had lunch at a Thai restaraunt.  I felt immediately attached to both of them.

Next time I get down to lauderale I am looking up Ft Lauderdale for sure.

I am hoping he will hook me up with lunch with Art, Kenny, and Robert.

The five of us will sit around and talk about the good old days.

 :grin:

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