I guess I'll tell you what I want to do with my life as I am getting some college done- I want to work in refugee camps around the world- traveling, meeting people, and serving anyone who needs help...happiness for me comes from the look on someones face whose life has been changed for the good because of something i helped with. neat huh? im starting already by helping teens who are identical to my own troubled teenage years. i can relate, and i will not stop helping people EVER- they are the ones who help me more i think...
It saddens my heart, be as it is- the care of it is lost in lack of personal aquaintence between the owners of these posts of the year 2003 and 2004. This topic has been more alive than ever before thus far and all that is the humanistic, natural, and universal (for the opposers and defenders alike) truth is such that the purpose of revelating it is a whisper in stuffed cracks of this wall.
Imagine yourself as a young child growing up in a harsh world. at this time you do not have the capacity to realize that others have it much worse, nor does that in itself much matter for your hardships dont lessen any from others. you have this biological womb you came from abandon you, you have the father figure rape you, then suddenly, taken from childhood years of exposure to drugs,abuse,neglect,alcohol,unsoothing mucic,and sex-you are put up in the perfect home. its perfect in all its imperfections as you grow to become a teenager- the relationship between you and your parents who've raised you (the ones who unconditionally love you and would never abandon you)is then warped by your own decision making- your own crossed and cut path of substance abuse, running away, arguments, (or even something silly then like being grounded). There is nothing left but a wall you dont understand, a home you've just made more toxic than is necessary, and a spirit that you've completely crushed by being too young and too old at the same time!
then the hospitals, then the overdoses, then the lies, then the truths about life throw themselves at you, then the endless questions, then the hanging out with the wrong crowds and losing yourself in self destruction, down down down and although your parents have faults- the only real fault lies in the fact that you are your own person! as the case this time, your parents were not the ones responsible- you are. its too hard to admit, youre too prideful, youre too stuck in one mind frame that anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is what you see as everything wrong, as evil, or even abusive- when the most wrong is yourself.
WHAM! what was that? your head hit the bathroom floor, you've passed out from alcohol poisoning...you wake up with tubes down your stomach thrashing at any male that comes to you- then in dizziness youre in contraints so no harm comes to the nurses helping you...then sleep...endless black sleep...three months later, after all angles tried- your biological mother appears out of nowhere- out of 16 years of no contact, no info, not a trace, not a picture, not a person knowing her- and there she is across the country- that hole you need to fill is about to be fulfilled. you live with her for some time in a dirty trailor- you have two precious younger siblings you never knew existed- in your warped mind you feel only their innocence...youre suddenly in an affair with the boyfriend of your mother...you meet neighbors that just got out of the state prison- theyre the only ones close to your age- and close to your addictions...the only ones who you talk to...they are not true friends- the only true ones you left behind...without ever telling them that deep down you knew how much they meant...after a few weeks you get into trouble, the sheriff is outside the trailor park, you a quarter of a bottle of vodka, run into the woods and come back later to greet your birth mom, sheriff, and the parents who raised you on the phone. you are about to be sent somewhere for a year.
two years later you have learned the importance of honest relationships, the meaning of commitment, the way not to follow into genetic evils, the way to have a good heart, happiness from serving others, and an unusual perceptive that calms the ways of those who in all actuality dont have something down right, lack of information, blinded by negative emotions, or simply have an opinion- one that does in fact hit so close to home for some people that they get emotionally involved in such words- the truth is we are all on one earth, we are all one scientific species- to take the analysis derived from anything but the actual truth of such a place as the whitmore- the principles, morals, values, importances in family relationships- the way NOT to use or abuse is, well, all that runs the day there. to take someone who has had cancer, miscarriages, family and friends deaths, and an endless lifes quest to guide what society doesnt accept because they are wayward or troubled- the reality is, they need a fresh view through a fresh place to live in for such a short time in the scope of all of life, new perspectives of those just like you, and people good at what they do- being loving, willing to lay their lives and career down for you if something needed it- and suddenly, the "devils works" crashes harder than anything else- into the nail driven in the middle of a wholesome atmospherical heart. no life is not fair, but for the only real thing left- truth in love (that these bad things arent really happening in the ways portrayed on this site- its all so different in everyway from those who are in all actuality just down a cycle that wont help them or anyone)...truth in love everyone. if you are to disect this and not accept it- thy will not my will be done. do what you want no one is stopping you, so if you are what you say you live to be- then act it in good ways like i know you have somewhere along the line. you are only in this to help kids- you can help by believing the truth not a bunch of lies.if not, well, at least dont destroy something that saves lives- spend this energy on places that truly need to be ridiculed, on people who really do need to be locked up- not anything that has to do with the whitmore. you dont know unless youve lived it- for those who have and are stabbing it, move on with your life and realize the things you said you learned like not lying and hurting those who care for you.
sincerely,
gypsy
