Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones
Can someone educate me about the RAP session
former CEDU therapist:
Okay - but I'm not Jack.
--- Quote ---On 2005-02-04 13:41:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I was talking to Ginger Jack
I really appreaciate your posts
Thank you"
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
Come on out SOS---you got flamed bad at cedu alumni but that's no reason to sit in the corner and suck your thumb---or Bryan's you-know-waht---come on out guys the place makes sense without you---can't have that---poor old Ginger "Gingivitis" Antigen won't be able to make sense of a world without drugs and psychos
blownawaytheidahoway:
--- Quote ---On 2005-01-17 11:26:00, blownawaytheidahoway wrote:
"Usually the rap opened when the ?rap sheet? had been retired and the staff running the rap said??okay, let?s have a rap?. Then all hell would sometimes break loose at once with a cacophony of names being yelled by different people directed at different people for different reasons; the first one no less foolish than the last. Try to imagine the scene: you are sitting in an uncomfortable black chair, you have been prepped and sufficiently razzed that you are actually more relaxed than when you walked in. There is a group seated in the circle with you made up of a couple of staff and students from different ?families? inside the school. When those four, foul syllables are uttered by the staff (I?ve seen happen a staff bestow the right on a timid student to command ?Let?s have a rap?) some people on side of the circle sit forward on the edge of the seat of the chair with their fingers extended. They in unison are vying to get the first indictment out by loudly starting: ?Okay, _______________!? When the facilitator decides who we?ll start with- you better hope it?s you! Because if a rap starts with ?OKAY, WELL XXXX, FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?? and the staff has decided that someone else is in the hot seat before you?you can bend over and kiss your ass goodbye because you know it?s coming. And you still have to wait, knowing that the dogs had been set loose. But still you are unable to get a head start. This is the reason that I hated so much when a rap started abruptly like that. Sitting there and doing nothing because there is nothing to be done, waiting for something that is bad that is going to happen. This is what it felt like. This is in fact what it felt like all the time I was there. But it was especially evident in the first year.
I remember some of those first years worth of RAPS. They are etched moments- chutes to another time- a wormhole to exactly what I thought at that moment. I am reminded of the findings of the ancient ruins of Pompei. When Vesuvias erupted it encased the fleeing people with molten lava, leaving the perfect outlines of the running corpses, mouths open in a forever gruesome primal scream. History cannot do anything to deny the perfectly preserved moment and perfectly preserved villages covered in pumice, and lava, and layer upon layer of consolidated ash.
"
--- End quote ---
And I remember my second rap too:
Caroline Wolfe started that rap fucking with everybody, in particular a couple of boys who weren?t allowed to talk to me for some reason. I?m sitting there staring at the fan, trying to avoid the world at this point, wishing I was back East puffing on a joint behind my neighboors fence with a friend from home. Caroline says, ?Hey, new guy?! She had this uncanny ability to smile and raise her voice by 75 decibels at the same time, all the while snapping on piece of gum. Caroline was allowed to chew gum all the time, we were not. My periphery twinkled into focus. I was pinned to my black chair. I didn?t know what was what now but I had learned something from the first rap with Stacy. When a person had switched chairs with me to scream at this one dude, I noticed that the boxier black chairs were much more comfortable than the ones with rounded frames and feet. I felt a humble consolation in the realization at the beginning of this particular rap that I had scored a more comfortable seat. My ass was molded to it now and the July sun outside was sending a searing light into the center of the circle. The blood ran to my face and I felt the eyes shift in unison to me. I kept my eyes on the fan, it was like being woken up abruptly. I couldn?t yet think of looking at her. She continued. ?You can?t ask a girl in the woods to run away with you, Ok?? You?re new so I?ll just tell you there is no running away, no fucking the girls, GOT IT?
blownawaytheidahoway:
The uncertainty in a rap was in itself one of the characteristics of a rap. You did not know what was going to happen. And as with every other thing on the planet, you become desensitized to any atmosphere somewhat as you are in it. As I moved through the program, I would become used to almost everything I will describe. At first I felt sometimes like I was about to witness a terrible act of brutality. Raps were very aggressive. Physically, I mean; sometimes I thought a person was just going to snap and kick the living shit out of the person laying the indictment on them. I know it happened occasionally, as I witnessed some very close calls. For it seemed often that the staff were TRYING to get you to go off of the deep end. It was the staff and older students that kept the feeling of uncertainty alive in raps all of the time.
Sometimes I even felt like I might see someone die. The terrific impact of internalized feelings being coaxed or forced out purposefully is amazing to behold. I saw all sorts of physical alterations. Veins and capillaries bursting in the face and eyes from leaning towards the floor and screaming at their mother or father. The imagined faces were mouthing insults insinuated by the staff members. I saw faces turn so purple from anger being coerced out of them that blood ran freely from the nose. I have choked on mucus trying to breathe. I have helped young men and women off of the floor who had passed into unconcioussness from yelling at themselves, and telling themselves or others the most horrific things.
Occasionally, even after I had been there for a while, I would feel still that things were somehow staged. Especially if there was one of the VIPs running the rap that day, then there would really be a show. The expectations were great and the rewards painful if you could not perform the rituals correctly. You had to participate every time. You could not really go more than one or two hours without being at the very least vocal.
Anonymous:
A lot of it I noticed had to do with the staff that ran them. The tone of the rap was definatly set by the facilitator. I know I for sure had a preference when it came to whose rap I wanted to be in, plenty of staff whose raps I avoided at all cost (but unfortunatly at the end of the day you pretty much have no choice). Some staff had relaxed sessions, some had extremely loud and intense sessions (that I seriously question the usefulness of).
I remember one staff member imparticularly whose raps I could not stand to be in since he insisted on holding each session yelling at the top of his lungs and was not satisfied untill half the room was yelling at the floor. Sometimes you just did it so you didn't have to listen to the nonsense that spewed out of his mouth.
Rap lugs were always amusing, and for the most part not funny.
The above poster is right, there definatly were weird feelings associated with going into raps like you were about to witnes something bad. A lot of kids feared them, I of course grew up being yelled at so it was nothing new to me. The most amusing aspects were definatly the older student bullying that occured. This was even more so present in RMA (the old RMA), but I think that was the result of the expectation of the unstable staff that facilitated those sessions. In the end, I think the affect the rap had on a kid depended on how much he feared his indictors.
CHINSK
(i forgot my password)
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