Wow, I just found this forum. It was so weird, I was talking to my sister about the seed the other day and then there was a show on drug rehabs. I decided to look up the seed to see if it still existed.
That was a hellish time in my life. I was at SR84 around '72 or '73. I'm not certain of the exact year. My parents stuck me in there. I swear, I thought I was having a seriously long nightmare for a couple of months, then reality sank in.
You'll have to excuse my garbled memories of things, I have repressed this stuff for a long time. Do you remember after you were there for a week or so you had to stand up in an open meeting and tell everyone the drugs you did, how long you did them, what you were like "on the street" and how much you learned since you arrived at the glorious seed? My first time, when I got to the part about what I had learned I said "nothing and I would rather be back on the street". Libby came over to me (if looks could kill I'd be dead) and said do it again and do it right. So I said the same thing the second time. She said I was gonna get it the next day. Boy did I ever, they screamed at me for hours. I think every person in there took a turn. Alas, that was not to be my last time either.....
Oh man, memories are flooding back. I don't know about the guys, but remember the girls would hold your hand when you went to the bathroom....or anywhere for that matter. And those stinking papers you had to write at night...moral inventories or something like that. All those dumbass songs we had to sing.
I remember being in groups with Robert (? black guy). I mean, granted I did a lot of drugs, but I wasn't a bottomless pit of stories. If I didn't have my hand raised every five minutes he would call on me and say "Come on Cyndi, I know you did some bad shit out there" I got to the point where I would make up stories.
I never bought into their brainwashing. When I got out the first time I still did a few drugs and was much less of a wild child. I was too freaked out to see any of my old friends. I went to a different school. Then I got put in there again, which was even worse.......(especially since I had Jethro Tull tix sitting at home) Oddly enough, I remember less about the second time around....my emotional defenses are very strong and if something traumatizes me I likely will block it out. So, who knows what happened.
I really do think that place damaged me emotionally, as well as other things in my life. Most of which probably wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't led the life I was living at the time. They would say really vile things to people. I don't know anyone from that time anymore.
Thankfully, the hardest stuff I do now is a good glass of wine or maybe a beer. I have a great husband and am very happy.
Sorry, I didn't intend on vomiting on everyone. This was just such a shock.