Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

The kids are alright?

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cleveland:
Antigen, interesting, but I still think there's something missing. Let's look at something besides drugs and alcohol, with a similar dynamic:

Let's say your working with teens in an inner city neighborhood (as someone I know well does). Your job is to counsel them on sexual responsibility, and you have two approaches to choose from currently - one being an educated, individual choice approach with access to various forms of birth control,the other, a Bush-sanctioned Abstinence approach, has lots of Federal support and makes some sense intuitively. The problem? There you are in the classroom, a room full of kids who are sexually active - some have been raped or otherwise abused - in a culture where sex and in particular, sexualized violence is rampant as a badge of manhood. Whatever you do, teen rates for sexually transmitted diseases are rampant, teen pregnancy is exploding, and the kids plainly need some direction. Abstinence or educated choice?
Somewhere in either of these extremes we are failing to address, or recognize the problem. Clearly, it's not so much sex as it is the context for it. I would argue this is the same for substance abuse. Moderation and responsiblity are the goal, but in some cases, how will you get there - especially in a crisis situation? I think this is the same dilemma suffered by parents who's teen is using hard drugs, and choose a 'program' to help them - same for the individual who cannot control their own use, and enter AA...or teens who are living in a sexual binge culture.

Just a thought...

GregFL:
You have to define "crisis" better.

For Example, today Most kids, the vast majority of them, enter drug treatment for marijuana. Now, is the problem really marijuana or the inability of the parents to control them in the manner they choose?

Children will fail. Behavior modification has demonstrated to me that it causes more problems than it solves.

What someone should do is a very hard choice. Dedicate yourselve to your child in "crisis". Work less, demand more time of them, demand more patience and understanding from yourself. Stop setting up a "me and them" scenario where you hate everything about their culture. Set good examples. Be a family. Don't get drunk and smoke and then throw your kid in rehab becauses he smoked some pot and skipped school. Instead, dig deep for faith in your self and your child and seek advice on being a better parent. Still, this won't always work either. Some kids will fail no matter what you do. This is the reality and locking them up, sleep depriving them, threatening and scaring them and making them sing zippedy do dah with a room full of unfortunates is not the solution. At some point one must face the fact that the future of your child will rest solely in the hands of that child, that his successes and failures will be born of his/her inherent drive to succeed. This can be one of the hardest realizations one will face. I have seen it happen to people close to me. Sometimes, the realization that you can no longer micro manage your child's decisions is a painfull one, but it is necessary if they are to grow up.

Inpatient treatment, especially "peer pressure" synanon style "Theraputic communities" (there is a misnomer if there ever was one) is an option I would never choose. I guess there are some instances where drug treatment outside counseling by a family therapist would be appropriate but that would be an extreme addiction circumstance such as heroin or meth combined with legal problems.

I have seen these problems within my family. I have seen treatment fail over and over and people emerge from treatment harmed. Only when someone reaches inside themselves for the answer does it come to them, not when it is forced on them.

Fran:
Right on Greg!!
Only with my own kids can I say that constant communication and being involved in their lives and knowing when something was not right is how I parented. They challenged me but drugs were not an issue with them.
When I was a kid back in the early 70's both my parents were oblivous to me, the people I hung around with etc. Not that they were not loving parents but they were not educated or prepared for the drug culture that was escalating at that time.

cleveland:
Greg,

A well-thought answer. Crisis is in the eye of the beholder, but they clearly exist. I think what we're talking about is, how do you help someone develop what psychologists would call an 'internal locus of control.' In other words:

Internal Locus of Control: Who controls your behavior? Are you the master of your own domain? Is your life already predetermined and everything that happens is fated? If you believe that you control your own destiny and that your behaviors are under your control, then you have an internal locus of control. This concept has quite a bit of importance when we try to make attributions for our behaviors. For example, if you did well on a test, how would you explain it? If you said that it was because you got lucky or the teacher made an easy test, then you would be exhibiting and "external" locus of control. However, if you attribute your good performance to your hard work, good study habits, and interest in the topic, you would being exhibiting and internal locus of control. (Psych. online)

There's an interesting website as well here:

http://www.as.wvu.edu/~sbb/comm221/chapters/attrib.htm

Sorry about all of the psychology here, but I think this is all common sense - unlike the mumbo-jumbo, peer pressure techniques of therapeutic community.

Jimmy Cusick:
Well I would agree that moderation and responsibility are a goal, that of course depends on what one is trying to accomplish.

You brought up a topic that varies from person to person, problem to problem. Your subject is as vast as the big bang theory and you can expect plenty of different replies.

To start with we are extremely lucky living in the 21st century. A myriad of solutions exist for the most selective problems that exist today.

 I'll stick to teenagers with alcohol and drug problems as we should know something about that.
 First of all parents must be available to assist their children, if a parent is overwhelmed by a disease or is simply selfish and self-centered the childs help will be reduced to a minimum. Lets assume we have a mature, responsible adult and he/she has the childs best interests at heart.

 Initially it is neccessary to determine the teenagers mental state and ascertain if professional mental help is required. Some kids require medications that stabalize them and make them more prone to being helped for other problems.

Secondly has the teenager fallen into the court system? A wide array of programs exist, an assesment normally takes place. A placement is generally made by a judge or magistrate and that can be anything from an anger management class to an Intensive Outpatient Program(3 hours, 3 or 4 nights a week). The child will be closely monitored and drug tested until probation is completed. Do court programs work? Not in general, most kids are smart enough to stay off the drugs until their out from under the gun. Relapse is very common.

Thirdly, if the child doesn't suffer from a debilitating mental illness and is not the victim of the court system, he/she is in the hands of the parents. That requires some insight to figure out Exactly what the dilemna is. Are they physically addicted to drugs and need medical detox? If so a hospital is required.
 Are they experimental users? Do they think they have a problem? Does their attitude make home life chaotic? Where does a parent begin?
A  therapist is a good place to start, they tend to be non-confrontational towards teenagers and can make recommendations on what direction to go. It isnt always neccessary to intervene in the teenagers life, sometimes drugs dont have to be a bad thing. If serious problems are occurring from his or her drug use then intervention is mandatory. Will N/A, C/A or A/A work for any kid? WE all hope so. Do they need a live-in program? Some do, that depends on how we assess them, it also depends on what kind of insurance we have and how much money we have available. Should we send our child to a cult? (Cult:A system of religious worship or rites and ceromonies)(the seed). That depends, if his life is in danger we must take whatever steps are neccessary, We have to deal with the outcome later

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