Author Topic: straight incorporated, Dec 26 1978  (Read 639 times)

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Offline kpickle39

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straight incorporated, Dec 26 1978
« on: December 21, 2004, 10:58:00 PM »
For me, the month of December is a mixed bag.  Christmas, birthday and the 26th.   December the 26th, 1978 I entered straight st. pete.  God, that means............in a few days it will be 26 years ago since day one.    I have been "in- my-head" recently about life at straight, esp the day to day existance.  A vivid memory tonight is after a Friday night open meeting.  3am, come down rap, full blast and in living color.   Just wanting to go home.  Layers and layers of dried sweat, shirt soaked from the hot night.  No AC for us.  Knowing MI's were still to be done.  Dreading the days in group.  Just wanting to fucking sleep.   Knowing that I wanted so bad to run away.  Knowing that it wasn't possible.  Hating myself for going back every day, day in and day out.   The relentless grind.   Never ending.  The shitty food.   Limited liquid.  Constant fear.   Wanting to sleep.  Physically hurting myself to try and stay awake in group, by crushing my fingers under the seat and still nodding off.   The constant mantra.  Being told I 'm a druggie and worthless.  That I am a horrible person for being so bad to my family.   That my parrents divorce was my fault.   That I was destroying my family.  I was told that and then told to sit down.   Then my oldcomer lit into me about it at the foster home.  And sleeping on a fucking cold terrazo floor, with a fucking sheet.  I actually learned to sleep after a while on the floor.  I remember a fucking kick to the ribs the day after my 18th birthday.  My birthday.  Dec 31, 1978.  18 years old.  Freedom day.  My 5th day in the program.  I asked to leave.   Staff member to Mike - "I will not stop you from leaving, but the kids in the group love you so much they will not let you leave..."  Gang tackle Mike.  Fucking sit on Mike.  God, I gotta stop...................          [ This Message was edited by: kpickle39 on 2004-12-21 20:00 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Animals

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straight incorporated, Dec 26 1978
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2004, 05:07:00 PM »
I had this one oldcomer, my second or third one, who would tell my mother I was an addict simply because I displayed an angry attitude.  Matthew Belski.  The staff let this guy and many others do all kinds of muscle enhancers while I was in the program, never saying anything about steroid and protein intake for abnormal workouts.  

Fuck you, Matt.  And fuck your homo father too, and your koo koo brother Kevin, too.  And your mom, the little snide bitch.

merry fucking christmas all, and to all a good fight.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »