I remember the day my parents signed me in. I had no idea what to expect. I remember being stripped searched...thank God they let me leave my bra and panties on because at 13 you have hang ups as it is. But that freaked me out...I remember my father not being very confident in leaving me there but my mother was for it.
I remember the girl I had to stay with and she showing me pictures of her boyfriend who happened to also be in the seed. She was cool because at least she gave me cigarettes to smoke since my parents took them away from me too when they signed me in.
I remember saving the butts from others passing them down the row because you weren't allowed to bum cigs from anyone. I remember some of the songs...Jingle Bells, Zippity do da, The Seed song. Holding hands singing, saying the Lords prayer at the end of the meeting, screaming I LOVE YOU to people you didn't even know. Eating bologna sandwiches so much that to this day I will not eat bologna. The Guys...The Chicks..having to wear a bra heck I didn't need to wear a bra at that age anyway!!..I still have every damn moral inventory I wrote for Gosh sakes!! Why do I keep them for??
Libby the bitch...Suzie Connors the bitchier, John Underwood, Cliff, Pete ( I think he was the oldest member there at 28...1973)Claudia giving me a shag haircut!!! Art and Shelly...singing at the Orange Bowl...being able to go home finally...then back to school and being pushed around physically and mentally abused by the DRUGGIES!!! "I don't want to talk to you" ARRRRGGGGG....Having the oldcomers in school " come down on you "lunch sessions that I dreaded having to go to lunch.
Did the seed help me? Yes and no...I went from one peer pressure to another type. Scared to death to say what I really felt. But when I finally stopped going after 2 years I had a freedom that I can't describe. Yes it curtailed my drug experience a few years but at 17 began drinking again...and doing more drugs then I did when I went into the seed. Did the seed save my life? would I have ended up in jail? these are the things I remember being drilled into me.
I do remember some kids getting yelled at and beaten down mentally...I said what they wanted me to say and did what I had to do to graduate the program. As in the game Survivor...I flew under the radar...I played the game!![ This Message was edited by: Fran on 2004-12-21 07:58 ]