Oh my goodness. I totally understand what you mean. I felt bad for those people, but sometimes they really made me crazy. Those words "I have a doubt" make me cringe!
My first long-term oldcomer was a second phaser who had to be the biggest headgamer in all of history too. I think for her though, it was a way to exert power and feel in control. You could tell sometimes she was just making crap up to make herself seem superior.
I stayed on first phase for MONTHS because of her, she would not vote for more than T&R for me every single week. I was stuck because I never got a different oldcomer. She kept telling me it was because she felt that I was still too "arrogant". Imagine, being held back by a second phaser from seeing your parents or anything just because you challenged her notion of common sense. That was our whole beef, I would get so frustrated with her idiocy and argue for some common sense. She would get threatened and say that I was "arrogant" and then hold me back. It made me crazy.
Even people in the group and some of the staff would ask, why the hell are you not on second phase yet? I was not a misbeahver and I was never even hardly stood up for anything anymore, I mean for chrissakes after 3 1/2 months how much more do you need to get honest about your intake?
Finally she begrudgingly voted second phase for me under pressure from our host parents and her host sister. I was happy I NEVER had to live with her again.
That whole situation in itself was insane if you think about it. Here I am supposed to be in therapy, and my entire therpay is being controlled by a girl not a year older than me and only on second phase. No staff intervetion or evalutation. I wasnt going to see my parents until she was good and ready...and for her I was a great source of control...she wasnt going to give THAT up!
