Jimmy, the idealism you felt at the Seed was within you. It's still there, I hope you find a way to connect with it. There are so many good and loving people in the world, if you can connect with that in yourself you will discover it all around you.
From your postings, I believe you are an intelligent, sensitive person. If you feel lost now, you won't have to be forever. But it's not easy.
I too miss the commraderie we felt at the Seed, but the Seed itself has split up and people have gone their separate ways. You will have to find something else to ground yourself, but again, I believe that whatever you need is already a part of you.