Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > News Items
Narrowly Escaped, but not the 12 Steps
Anonymous:
I tried to post under a member name but the forum does not seem to accept my username, not sure why, so please don't think I am intentionally remaining anonymous, if you would like to email me, please request my email address and I will be happy to give it to you.
When I was 19 my parents opted to place me in AARC. They changed their minds at the last minute, and I am so glad they did. It is struggle enough deprogramming myself from Alcoholics Anonymous, I don't know what would have happened had I had to deprogram from a behavior modification program as well.
My mom felt very uneasy the last couple of days before I was supposed to go. I remember shopping in Winners with her and my dad for generic, non-descript clothing (a necessity for entrance), and she flipped. She told me she loved who I was, just not what I was doing at the time. She called the center when we got home and told them I would not be attending. They told her that she needed to understand the ?severity? of my disease, and that it could be fatal. We were disgusted, and grateful that she had made the decision. I love her for it. We have a strong and loving relationship now, and her and I have made that happen.
I am now 27 years old, and I struggle still. I have come to realize however, that so much of my struggles have been a direct result of my involvement with 12 step programs. I have watched most of my hard partying friends simply grow up into fairly well adjusted, productive adults. They did this without the help of AA. I often wonder if I had never been involved with the 12-step racket, would I have just grown up. Instead I spent 7 years of my life feeling even more different than the people around me. I felt like I didn't fit in out here, or in the rooms. I am only now beginning to realize that my problem was never with alcohol, my problem was with me, my self esteem...and I am working on overcoming this so I don't turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to act out. That is what I do, I use to get attention. It is nothing more, and nothing less than this.
I certainly believe that people do have physical addictions to substances, I also believe they can overcome these addictions themselves. I am not negating that AA, or perhaps even AARC has saved lives...I just question what new life these people gain? I am proud to be a strong woman, with strong ideals, and strong opinions I am not afraid to voice. I feel like AA, and programs like AARC stifles the spirit, and the mind. The kids from AARC I saw in the AA rooms seemed entranced. They seemed to be reciting mantras in the room. Witnessing this is actually what helped me decide to distance myself from AA altogether. I remember having lunch with a graduate of AARC, who was a counselor there. I was appalled when she told me my tattoos (I am heavily tattooed), and my "slang" wasn?t really me. Of course they are me. My tattoos tell stories of where I have been, and my "slang" is who I am. Slang, body art, professions, hobbies can all be testament to a persons individuality. I feel so sad when I think of children going through programs like AARC and being stripped of their individuality. I can't help but think there is a lot of talent and beauty being removed from the world because of AARC.
I applaud those who have left AARC and are struggling to reclaim their identity. I am doing the same thing, and find great comfort in knowing I am not alone (as they say in AA) in breaking free of brainwashing. Sure I struggle, I have good days and bad days. I am me though, for the first time in a long time.
Antigen:
Yeah, some devout practitioner of stepcraft once told my brother that his sense of humor was part of his disease. So my brother spent the next stretch of time trying to be very serious and not make any jokes. Crazy!
Welcome!
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid
of the dark. The real tragedy of life is
when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
--- End quote ---
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2004-12-01 19:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
I am now 27 years old, and I struggle still. I have come to realize however, that so much of my struggles have been a direct result of my involvement with 12 step programs. I have watched most of my hard partying friends simply grow up into fairly well adjusted, productive adults. They did this without the help of AA. I often wonder if I had never been involved with the 12-step racket, would I have just grown up. Instead I spent 7 years of my life feeling even more different than the people around me. I felt like I didn't fit in out here, or in the rooms. I am only now beginning to realize that my problem was never with alcohol, my problem was with me, my self esteem...and I am working on overcoming this so I don't turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to act out. That is what I do, I use to get attention. It is nothing more, and nothing less than this.
I certainly believe that people do have physical addictions to substances, I also believe they can overcome these addictions themselves. I am not negating that AA, or perhaps even AARC has saved lives...I just question what new life these people gain? I am proud to be a strong woman, with strong ideals, and strong opinions I am not afraid to voice. I feel like AA, and programs like AARC stifles the spirit, and the mind. The kids from AARC I saw in the AA rooms seemed entranced. They seemed to be reciting mantras in the room. Witnessing this is actually what helped me decide to distance myself from AA altogether. I remember having lunch with a graduate of AARC, who was a counselor there. I was appalled when she told me my tattoos (I am heavily tattooed), and my "slang" wasn?t really me. Of course they are me. My tattoos tell stories of where I have been, and my "slang" is who I am. Slang, body art, professions, hobbies can all be testament to a persons individuality. I feel so sad when I think of children going through programs like AARC and being stripped of their individuality. I can't help but think there is a lot of talent and beauty being removed from the world because of AARC.
I applaud those who have left AARC and are struggling to reclaim their identity. I am doing the same thing, and find great comfort in knowing I am not alone (as they say in AA) in breaking free of brainwashing. Sure I struggle, I have good days and bad days. I am me though, for the first time in a long time.
"
--- End quote ---
I can only speak for myself, and I would never generalise anyone. I did go through AARC. I am in AA. I see AARC graduates with varying degees of success, in and out of AA. As far as it "stripping my individuality", AARC and AA have helped me discover who I am. You mention Tattoos. Both my arms ar covered, as well as my chest and back - and no one from AARC has ever expressed any degree of being "appalled". I am artistic, creative and successfull, and sober for over 10 years. I have had a successful career for years, and have thriving relationships in and out of AA.Tell guys like Noah Levine who wrote Dharma Punx, teaches meditation worldwide, and is heavily tattoed and loves Punk that AA is stifling. I hope you do well, but please, speak for yourself.
Anonymous:
I don't believe I claimed to be speaking for anyone but myself. I have a right to my opinios, as you do yours. Covered in tattoos, and in AA...in Calgary?? Where have you been hiding out??
Yes, Dharma Punx....
Not only have I read Noah Levine's autobiography...I am aquaintance of his through mutual friends involved in the tattoo industry in California. Many of the people he writes about in his book were people I knew personally, or knew of through close friends of mine. Thanks for pointing it out none the less.
I did not particularily enjoy his book, nor do I particularily enjoy him personally. It is easy to go on a journey of self discovery, and get covered in tattoos when you have a trust fund set up to make it all happen. I digress however.
It always shocks me how easily people will hold someone up as an example or as a role model knowing little to nothing about them. What you know about Noah Levine is what he wanted his readers to know about him.
Yes, it would be dreamy wouldn't it, if one could go from being a perfect bad ass, to a perfect sober buddhist. His book read like a fairytale, because that is what it is.
Try reading Hardcore Zen...I believe it speaks from a more humble, and egoless place.
If you feel that your individuality and your creativity has not been stifled by these rigid and intolerant programs (my opinion)....good for you!! I wish I could say the same for me, but as you gathered from my previous post, I have not had the same experience as you.
I am simply expressing my individualtiy...do you have a problem with that?
Anonymous:
Oh, and to address your comment about nobody being appalled by your tattoos.
I never claimed she was appalled, I said I was appalled at her reaction to me.
I am happy that you never had anyone tell you your body art, and way of speaking was not you. It made me feel pretty shitty at the time.
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