Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

The Final Days

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Antigen:
Honestly, Thom, you were not messed up prior to The Seed. A pain in the ass sometimes? Sure! All smart kids are. But not at all headed for death, insanity or jail (well, maybe jail, but only juvee and probably behind a practical joke that would have turned impractical)

I really think the Program did a number on you. I don't think Joni left because of your drinking. I think the marriage failed because you both entered into it while still under heavy program influence. The two of you had nothing in common except for singing and laughter. In the real world, she might have been a good old friend, but not a life partner. She was after something entirely different.

I hate to even go here because I think you're probably going to get all indignant. But it pains me to see you flog yourself like this. The things you should be grateful for you hide in shame or throw on the bonfire. The things you should be indignant about you hold up as holy manna from heaven. It's sad to see. I miss who you used to be. I wish you'd just get it through your thick head that there never was anything wrong with you. You didn't need to be fixed or brainwashed or reprogramed or anything. You just needed to grow up, just like anybody. You know we'd be running that small town these days if we hadn't been scattered as we were.

When the government's boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence.
-- Gary Lloyd

--- End quote ---

Thom:
Thanks Dr. Warbis...how much do I owe you for this session?

Probably right about Joni, but there were other issues. Neither she nor #2 cared much for sex after marriage...well, not with me, anyway. They say the third time is a charm. My current spousal unit loves loving me. I don't have to flog myself any longer!

I agree with you that my major pre-seed need was maturity. I never bought into that stuff about being 'a piece of shit' when I was a 'druggie' Here?s the catch: neither of our parents was equipped to lead me there. Some concepts I became Aware of (there's that scary word) during my seedation helped to point me toward that maturity.

You'll have to break down that grateful...shame...bonfire...indignant...manna thingy for me. You lost me in that drama.

As for running that small town together, if you mean Pompano, I would likely have left there regardless. It's too damn hot down there! Like Dad said, that climate was designed for alligators and mosquitoes...not people. Do you remember the story of Dr. Mudd? He was the guy who helped John Wilkes Booth with his broken leg after he iced Abe. The good Dr. was sentenced to life in FL for his treason. Dry Tortugas, I think. I didn't even commit a crime, but served 20 years in that hell hole (FL).    

Well, gotta go, my oldcomer just told me I can't talk to you.

See ya, your prozac-zombie Brother, Thom

"Hypocrites was the reason for the treason"

GregFL:
Nice to hear from you again Tom.

GregFL:
By the way Thom, how long have you been sober and working your steps THIS TIME around?

Go ahead, complete this sentence for us curious..

Hello, my name is Thom and I have been sober for ________.


For a product you are so grateful for, The steps and stepcraft, it sure seems to fail you over and over. Een by your own admission you went 18 years after the seed before you went to AA, and then you thank the Seed for being there?

And again, I see a picture developing of a non addicted individual, submitted into involuntary addiction treatment, emerging with a addiction problem and an identity and ego built around the times he is sober.  You must really beat the shit out of yourself when you are not.

Unreal, as I read it.


"you are only powerless if you believe you are"
gregfl

Thom:
A note to those looking around the internet for recovery support ? fair warning:

You will not generally find it in these pages. If you have recently begun your journey to recovery, and it is important to you, this can be a dangerous place to peruse as many who post here have had, or perceive that they have had bad experiences with recovery.   Lots of bitterness here. This site is devoted to gathering historical data, usually of a negative nature, concerning certain drug and alcohol treatment and recovery programs and their practices. I suggest you stay close to the official recovery sites instead.

OK, Greg,
  Thank you so much for the warm welcome, as always. Here are your responses, with your questions/comments in quotation marks:

 ?By the way Thom, how long have you been sober and working your steps THIS TIME around?

Go ahead, complete this sentence for us curious...?

Would that ?us? be yourself and some of your other personalities?

Hello, my name is Thom and I have been sober for 13 + years
 
(Like you give a crap, but I?ll play along for fun)


?For a product you are so grateful for, the steps and stepcraft, it sure seems to fail you over and over. Een by your own admission you went 18 years after the seed before you went to AA, and then you thank the Seed for being there??

Not sure where you get the ?over and over? from. I was ?straight? for a few years in the ?70?s, ?crooked? for about 18 years, am ?sober? for about 13 years now and very contented.
I don?t know what Een means?is that German?  I believe here you are twisting the part where I wrote: ?I'm grateful the recovery system was still around when that time came for me.? Not ?thank the Seed for being there? as you misquoted. I was referring to the program (steps) of recovery practiced by various 12 step fellowships.
More simply put, ?I can?t, He can, I think I?ll let him?

?And again, I see a picture developing of a non addicted individual, submitted into involuntary addiction treatment, emerging with a addiction problem and an identity and ego built around the times he is sober. You must really beat the shit out of yourself when you are not.?

Time to change your picture developing chemicals. I entered the Seed program, and later, AA?. VOLUNTARILY? I have stated, and you have acknowledged this in the past.

"Unreal, as I read it."

It seems to become unreal as you read it. Reading comprehension difficulties would be my guess, but I am not trained in this area, and am not qualified to diagnose.


"You are only powerless if you believe you are"
 
(Try that theory next time you feel diarrhea coming on?mind over fecal matter! :eek:)

Now, here is my quote for the day:

?If God had intended for me to continually kick myself in the ass, it seems reasonable He would have installed at least one of my feet backwards so that my efforts would have more effect?

And an oldie but goodie from ?the raps?: ?Talk about yourself?

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