Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
to Anon with Law Degree
GregFL:
I am so glad you found us. Welcome to the Seed discussion forum.
I ask two things of new people. One, try to refrain from personal attacks in this forum, and two..you gotta dig deep and tell us a seed story.
Welcome once again.
Somejoker:
--- Quote ---On 2004-11-09 09:48:00, Anonymous wrote:
I was absolutely terrified every single time I had to go there. Every single time without exception.
--- End quote ---
Me too. I was just sure they were gonna stand me up and humiliate me, berate me and embarrass me. My 14 year old physc just wasn't up to it and truth be told it scarred me up pretty good. I spent years trying to understand what happened to me.
This was the real damaging part of the program in my opinion, not the rare instance of a kid getting slapped around or tackled to the ground, but the very real threat of being personally rippped apart at any unsuspecting minute for nothing. It truly was scary.
To our new poster, If you want to talk, email me at rocky93@tampabay.rr.com with your number and I will call you. I would love to speak to you.
My user name here is GregFL and/or Somejoker. Somejoker is my moderator handle.
[ This Message was edited by: Somejoker on 2004-11-09 14:11 ]
Anonymous:
This just came together for me this past weekend. What prompted me was a question posed to me by the psychiatrist (new dr/pt relationship) What he asked me was whether I thought I deserved, for brevity's sake, "to be happy." The intial, logical/cogniative repsonse is yes, but I also added that my life choices paint a very different picture. After much reflection it occurred to me how horrible that Seed experice was. I was a young adolescent when I got put there. the end result is that my self-image was shaken and stirred so much I have had no idea what I really wanted - I just knew that deep down inside, I was never really never good enough, never ever measured up to those people who always stood in judgment on the sidelines - SAFE from attack.
Whew. All these years I thought I was crazy. Turns out I was just a brainwashed kid.
Anonymous:
remember the raps about "never being able to leave the seed", about how the songs would forever play thru your mind and you would know what a failure you were?
To those that accepted this dogma and kept the seed close to their heart, perhaps they didn't feel damaged.
To those of us, especially those of us that were young and fairly innocent, the seed was a terrifying bully that not only imprisoned our bodies but also our minds and turned all our friends..and most insidiously..our families..either against us or into allies of the program. We could not even vocalize our true self or dare to even think about our situation for fear of someone's "awareness" catching us and being started over and forced back into public confessionals, strange locked bedrooms and humiliation and degredation.
It was a trap with no escape and the casualty was often our identity and self worth.
Someone recently asked me in a condenscending way if it was so bad why didn't I run. This is the epitomy of arrogance to blame a forteen year old child on his abuse because he didn't run from it.
gregfl
Stripe:
How is it that people I know, who sat right there with me, got "come down on" suffered that same rejection, etc., can't see the effects of this place in their lives today?
For lack of a better term, I was "outted" as a Seedling by one of my business associates - and I never ever told anyone I was in that place. Ever. I mean, after 30 years, if someone who was on the outside can look at you, listen to what you are describing as a general experience, and ask, "Did you go to the Seed?" then there must have been some stronger programming or hold on me that I ever realized.
If it's that obvious even after all this time, how is it that my other seed friends, whom I truly count as friends, just don't get it? Lives have been so screwed up by that place and its passing on to yet another generation of children being programmed. Maybe its a different program name , but the end result is still the same...and yet they still continue to deny what happened to them.
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