Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004 14:57:55 -0400
From someone who has been a Travel Agent for thirty Years:
....
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat
so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
window.
....
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go
to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight
and the passport information, then she interrupted me with,
"I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I
calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is in Africa."
Her response ...(click).
....
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to
explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle
of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map, and
Florida is a very thin state."
....
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it
possible to see England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."
....
An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
"I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to
drive between the gates to save time."
(Not a bad idea, if you are changing between carriers...GH)
....
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left
at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to
explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I
told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
....
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage
belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
put a tag on my luggage that said 'FAT' and I'm overweight.
I think that is very rude."
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it'
(I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city
code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
....
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the
train to Hawaii?"
....
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes
have numbers on them."
....
A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
....
A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents
he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
....
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said,
"Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am,
I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find
a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where
it is. Check your map."
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! knew it was a big animal," she said.
....
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in. This year, don't waste your vote on either Bush OR Kerry. Send a message by voting Libertarian
------MICHAEL BADNARIK, 2004.
Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
