Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

Do you remember when?

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DKM84:
Just reading greg's I remembered something I hadn't thought of in years. With our more risky newcomers someone in the house would take turns sleeping infront of the door, this I always thought was such a buch of crap, we love you so much, were going to hold you captive til we convince you your so screwed up, you become one of us , and then you sleep infront of the door.
anyway, I had this newcomer from gorgia, valdusta if I remember right, well he got by me one night in the middle of the night, I didn't know when, I had never lost one before,
(thats how we thought) mostly I wasn't going to answer to John or libby, so I took off loking for him, got outside, looked around, and seen a consruction site across the street, it was the wee morning, light barley coming out, I walked up to this porto-potty,
knocked on the door, asked, is any one in there, out comes the little voice, NO! go away.
I felt so bad, for the kid, he went on, graduated his program, record time. And RAN
back to gorgia, never looking back, good luck,
I can't remember his name, wish I did.

GregFL:
I had two necomers and I don't remember much about either one of them. Truth be told, I didn't give a shit about them. They were status symbols and stepping stones to get out of there.
One time my friends,  kevin Mcvey , was dropped off with his newcomer at my house. Him and I walked out the front door of my house and this guy, who was bigger than me, started running.  Kevin and I grabbed him and thru him down in my front yard, then loaded him in my dad's car and off to the seed we went.
We never even stopped to pause but did what we had to do. I knew if we let him escape we would be in big trouble.
Self preservation ruled the day as always. These are my most shamefull seed memories. That is, other than submitting my mind to the cult.

 one of my newcomers graduated actually graduated before me. He kept calling me and wanting to spend time with me and I just blew him off. I really didn't want much to do with connecting back to the seed. I went to several oldtimer meetings, then a friend of mine and I that were forced to go would just go to the mall and then hang around the restraunt where everyone congregated so we would be seen. This lasted a short while then I absolutey refused to go back. When my sister graduated, My dad decided we no longer had to go.

DKM84:
here's one, I just thought of.
I was just barley 12, the first 3 days of my 14 day program they let me stay at home, til I said I ain't going in no more, not for me,
my brother(not yet in the program) draged me down, lib's threw me back in group, and that night, I they had me stand up, and they said your going home with so and so, what the F..
as I was being usherd out that night, I saw my dad, who brought my cloths and stuff, I tried to speak to him and he ignored me, that was thirty one years ago, I remember it like yesterday, it hurt like hell, like he abandoned me, they told him to do it.
any way, I'm taken to this house in miami lakes, where they still want to continue play seed half they night, I'm so freakin tired, I go the the bathroom, half way into taking a crap, I fell sound asleep, (they had doors w/ locks @ the oldcomers) the next thing I rememmber, someone is breaking down the door, draging me out w/ my pants around my ankles, thinking I was comiting suicide,
can u belive that SH..- I just wanted a moment to myself and mother nature.
about 9 months later, the screw up oldcomer comes back on the program, front row and center. Guess who gets to be his Oldcomer,
I had a great time w/ him - no locked bathroom doors, i would say. that was sweet..
sick, huh.

GregFL:
not really sick, just common for the thought process we had.
The whole sleep deprivation thing was/is an essential part of cultic behavior modification. 10 to 10 was no accident either.
the kept you up, kept you hungry, tired and scared. Refused to allow you to think (get in your head). Refused you to relax either your mind or your body ( remember being poked in the back HARD if you even leaned back in your chair?)Held up a reward system based on affection and acceptance, compliance and shame. Coerced your family to join in your torture. Witheld family affection from small children.
The Seed was 20 times more intense than being a moonie,hari krisna or scientologist. Those guys have no idea what it is like to be in a real coersive non- voluntary cult. Those cults are Childs play compared to what we went thru at mostly pre and pubescent periods of our life.
Did we need in patient drug rehab? Hardly. So what then was it about?
Control, manipulation and fear from our parents.
Power, money, praise and worship for Art.
for the other staff members, I think most of them were duped into believing they were really saving the world.
Except a few. Libby and John come to mind. I think they were closer to Art in thought than the rest of us.
I would so like to speak to either one of them..
If you guys are lurking, E mail me for a friendly chat!!!!!
rocky93@tampabay.rr.com

MommaDebi:
Greg you said:"Did we need in patient drug rehab? Hardly. So what then was it about?"

I agree that it is all about control.

My perception of a valid in-patient treatment program would be that there would be liscensed therapists doing valid therapy.

I imagine that I would have been better served to have had a bit of real therapy because the dysfunction so prevailent in my own home. Of course my parents did not seek this type of therapy out because their own faults would have been out in the open.

This is not just me being an angry person saying mean and vile things about my family.  Not only did I survive the Seed, but also physical abuse, emotional abuse and incest prepetrated by my brother (who of course never had to enter the Seed).

The Seed was just a way for my family to place the blame for anything wrong in my family squarely on my shoulders. I was and am the "Black Sheep" (even though I have been truly sober now for 20+ years, with my own healthy family unit, and a strong circle of supportive friends) because I refuse to play the game with my bio-family any longer.

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