I have good and bad memories of the seed and my time there but my life today is determined by the choices I make now, not by what happened 30 years ago.
I was put into the seed at 15 yrs old after my older siblings were already on the program.. both court ordered. I had smoked pot only 2 times (both times with the same person), and drank alcohol many times. When I was in my intake interview, staff had gone out to the group and asked if anyone had ever done drugs with me and people said they smoked pot many times and had done speed with me....complete lies (the one person I smoked pot with was not in the seed at the time, but came on the program after me). Anyway, that sealed my fate and I was put on the front row that day. I remember telling my oldcomer that they lied but of course, no one believed me.
So, here I am 30 years later. Do I have a great life...absolutely. Is it because of the seed? By all means, not completely. The time I spent there and the tools they taught me definitely gave me a leg up on life. Did I miss out on the last years of my high school, Yes. Those years were full of turmoil and lonliness. I threw out all my old pictures, yearbooks and memories of my life back then that I can never replace. I look back and wish I hadn't done that but what the heck, it's over and it's water under the bridge.
This forum is a great way to finally talk about all those years with people that understand. I have tried over the years to explain but I just get blank stares looking back at me. I even meet up with my old highschool clique once a year as sort of a reunion (boy, did I break the rules.. no old druggie friends). Did they all end up in jail or dead...obviously not. I wouldn't trade places with them though and I would not change my past if it meant not having the life I do now.
So, my point is that it's good to talk about, understand it, grieve a little for lost years, be grateful for the good parts, and vow to be an involved, attentive, loving, parent who would not put my child in a program like the seed or any other program.
Enough for now.
Scout