Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

Conversion: the "Three Day Miracle"

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cleveland:
I was 19 when I entered the Seed. I was home for the summer from my freshman year at college, and my younger brother, who I vaguely realized was away at a drug rehab, came home for a visit. He was SO alert, bright, sober - relentlessly positive. I couldn't get over it. We stayed up all night talking, and he was begging me to come into the Seed. I would be so happy! My life would change. Just come to an Open Meeting!

So I did. Row after row of kids, girls on one side, guys on the other. Singing. Laughter. Tears. Moving testimonials. Shouts of, We Love You!

Then an interview with Scott, the senior staff in Cleveland. What do you have to lose, he says. You're a smart guy - you can see there's something going on here. I guarantee you'll be a happier person. I guarantee it!

So - I'm thinking. Why not? Look at my brother! Those kids all look so happy. Meanwhile, at this point in my life, I'm really unhappy. About everything - my life, my family, my girlfriend - and also something more. I am really depressed. I was having panic attacks and I was afraid I was losing my mind. Or maybe it was the drugs? I smoked weed and drank. Maybe that was it.

So, here I am, two weeks from going back to college, and the day after I go to an open meeting, I say, what the hell, and I say yes, I will enter the seed. Yeah!

Except. Now the fun is over. I closely questioned about my drug use by an unfriendly staff member (Bob W.) who treats my every statement as if it is a big lie. I am strip searched - full body cavity - and given some really uncool, dorky clothes to wear, courtesy of my brother, I think.

I am brought into the Rap room - all eyes on me. This is Walter - "WE LOVE YOU, WALTER!" Oh god. I'm embarrased, ashamed, confused. Sat down on the infamous Front Row during the Rules rap. A jab on my back - 'eyes forward!'

Oh my god. What have I done. I am now in deep Seed Shit. I want to run, but from now on, every move is watched, every thought exposed, every private moment obliterated.

Before too long, I am enlisted to me my own jailor. That's when you graduate.

Always a part of me knew that this was wrong. But the Seed said, hey, either you're a part of the solution, or you're a part of the problem. The seed promised me a new world, transformed by the Seed into one of love and honesty. Who doesn't want to be part of the solution?

And then, you really do love the people you're with. After all, you spend day upon day in isolated, intensly interpersonal contact. You bond. So, finally, you warp your own thoughts to conform, to be a part of the solution. And I had the Senior staff to look up to, and of course, our hero, Art.

But now I wonder, what about the Senior staff? They are still there. What were they thinking? They had to have doubts, and some did leave or were started over on the front row. How did they justify this to themselves, voluntary slavery.

At the seed, they called this the Three Day Miracle - voluntary self-slavery.

GregFL:
great post. Ihave in my possession a letter written by one of the inner core people to their sibling begging them to come to the seed.

In this letter he says..."The seed isn't a drug rehab, it is..I am not sure but it is much more than that".

I am paraphrasing because I don't have the letter in front of me, but pretty creepy, eh?

cleveland:
Seven years, Greg. Each year it got harder to believe the lie, but I still thought I was 'doing the right thing' by being a part of it.

By the way, does this forum get threats, attempts to shut it down? I imagine there are some pretty connected individuals who don't want these stories told.

GregFL:
Not anything of substance Cleveland. I think free speech is a powerfull right we have in this country, and we all have the right to tell our story, and with your brothers help maybe it will be told properly one day.

Antigen:
The threats do come in fairly regularly, though. Most often, it's not powerful connected people, though. It's Program entheusiasts on the order of the Wendy's unofficial spokesman, only really pathetic. And usually not relating to programs that have already changed names, but ones that are active now. Though Calvina Fay did threaten to sue me over some material at http://fornits.com/anonanon/ and the same lawyer sent a letter of demand over someone else's website on Mel Sembler that the author had advertised here.

I'm still under suite by PURE ( http://helpyourteen.com ) and I guess I and my hosting provider have about a dozen letters from various schools and programs threatening action, but not naming any specific content.

Life may have no meaning.  Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.
Ashleigh Brilliant
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