Laura, I completely agreed with you on this, until I gave it some thought. She was using her claim of being in a Ph.D. program as a part of her exploration of CEDU. Now that I give it more consideration, I'm thinking that it is important - not for purpose of academics - you've made great points here that school doesn't mean you're brilliant or anything. I always say that. It only proves that you decided to go to school and finished it. But, the possibility that she used this claim as a part of her persona - trying to "learn" more about eveyone's experience here - that possibility is disturbing to me. Why would she do this? Am I feeling defensive about my profession? Absolutely! I'm sure that's in there and I have no objectivity about her. None whatsoever. But I think there is an element of reason to what I'm saying. She misrepresented her credentials (I believe), claimed she wanted to learn from us, and then engaged in a long, drawn-out battle of baiting! We responded to her baits and we baited her back. I was looking at a post by Investigator, who suggested that we might consider ignoring baiting.
I'm thinking it would be good to consider Detective Wyatt's (sp?) advice. Ignore her baiting. She is infuriating, no doubt. But there is no point in arguing with someone like her. She enjoys taunting us and trying to "catch" us at - I don't know what. Clearly, there is something wrong. I wouldn't argue with a toddler. Why have I argued with her? I'll tell you why - she frustrates and angers me!
I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm sick and tired of her, but I still get hooked by her bait! I need to stop that! She has never responded to my one query and comes off as superior. That really gets to me. It's about credibility - she's making claims and attacking people here who I care about - every damn one of you! So, that pisses me off - if she were to come here and just say she's an individual and not make those claims, maybe I wouldn't be so mad. I don't know... maybe I'd still feel exactly the same. At any rate...
We have learned on this website that O5 has posted as AARCgrad. I looked AARC up - it's a recovery center. Here's the url:
http://www.aarc.ab.ca/In her posts here as AARCgrad, I noticed something interesting - she puts that stupid, smart-ass smiley-waving green guy in her first post - the same one O2 uses. Interesting...
Anyway, Laura - you're awfully smart and a voice of rationality here and I do appreciate every work you say!
There are three AARCgrad posts. Here they are:
Posted: 2002-12-02 15:07:00 I just came across this website by mistake and this will be my first AND last time writing here. I have no idea what Kids (or any of those other rehabs) are like but I graduated from AARC about 6 years ago. I could go on and on about how AARC abused me and feel angry every day about the fact that I spent almost a year and a half there when I'm not even an alcoholic (I've been drinking socially for years). But I have chosen to go on with my life and make the best of my experiences. I agree that AARC is like a cult, but all of you have formed your own cult with this website. GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES! How are you ever going to feel freedom from this experience if you check this website everyday and think about it all the time? I have no idea what my life would be like if I never went through AARC- all I know is that my life is fantastic now, and that's all that matters to me. I went through a really hard time when I first "relapsed" but now I'm living with my family, doing great in university, travelling across the world- and having a drink every now and then. Because I don't let AARC influence my thinking anymore, I have no reason to hate them- they can only affect you as much as you let them. If there was just one thing you should have learned in AARC, it's the serenity prayer- we cannot change what we've been through, but we can choose how we feel/think about it. I always used to think that "what doesn't kill you makes you insane", but I really do believe now that it can make you stronger- if you STOP DWELLING IN IT! I don't know if what I did will work for anyone else or whether or not you're alcoholics but I'm pretty sure that if you want to feel stronger (instead of insane), make this the last message on this website you read and figure out for yourselves what you need to do to finally feel that serenity that we were promised (in step 7?) but never felt.
Good luck
:wave:
Posted: 2002-12-03 00:04:00 I know that I said I wouldn't write again, but I was curious to see the reactions to what I wrote-and I have to say, I really love it when people prove my point. This website might help people. To be honest with you, it reminds me of AA meetings- just a bunch of bitter people making eachother feel justified in being bitter. Maybe you all think I'm rude and egocentrical for criticizing something that has improved a few peoples' lives- but do you really think that AARC hasn't improved a single person's life? I feel the need to clarify my statement that "AARC abused me". We always say "AARC", but it's not like the building abused us. When I say I felt abused, I am mainly talking about a couple of oldcomers I had and two staff members who (to my knowledge) no longer work at AARC- Mr.G and Mr.Haag. If I found out that they still worked at AARC, then I would have different feelings about it. I believe that Dr.Vause started AARC with good intentions but he has made mistakes. 5 years ago, I was so angry and confused that I would have NEVER believed that I would even slightly defend Dr.Vause, but I know for a fact that he cared about me, as I'm sure he feels about all of the kids who have gone through AARC. I respect what you are trying to do Velvet, but like you, Dr.Vause did what he thought would help us when we had very few alternatives. Maybe Dr.Vause did get a bit cocky over the years and can't see his mistakes because his head is so far up his ass, but from what I've heard about KIDS and STRAIT, AARC is not as bad as some people are making it sound.
My point is, if AARC is still bothering some of you this much after 10 or so years, then you have deeper issues. Although AARC might not be great, it's all some (very unfortunate) people have. A few people I know personally have greatly benefited from AARC, so even though I haven't- I don't think that it's right to try to stop something that for some people, is their only hope. Coming on this website and bitching about AARC and how Dr.Vause is responsible for someone's suicide is just pathetic and harsh and does not help anyone. You can focus on the good things that you learned in AARC, or you can focus on all the bad. Some of you even claim to still be sober- do you honestly think that AARC had no part in that? In your reply Velvet, you can replace your feelings about this website with Dr.Vause's feelings about AARC. You might not think that that is a fair comparison because this website doesn't abuse people, but I think that it does- I think that it contributes to bitterness and gives people an excuse to not take respnsibility for their lives. I CANNOT REST UNTIL YOU ARE ALL STOPPED! (that was a joke)
I sincerely sympathize with some of you and wish you all the best, but move on or seek professional help- this website is not the way.
[ This Message was edited by: AARCgrad on 2002-12-03 00:08 ]
24.71.223.143 ( px4so.cg.shawcable.net )
Posted: 2002-12-03 18:50:00 Velvet, I seriously have NO idea what you're talking about. There wasn't a single thing in your reply that made any sense to me whatsoever. I'm guessing someone with the same username as me wrote a few months ago- do you really think that AARCgrad is such an original username that it could only be me?
I can tell that my presence on this site is not wanted, and to be honest with you, I wish I never found it. I really don't feel like dealing with this anymore because like I said, I have found peace and happiness. Ever since I found this site 2 DAYS AGO, I have felt so sad knowing that there are so many people feeling as I did 4-5 years ago. It's a terrible way to feel and I believe that you are just the blind leading the blind. You can write whatever you want in reply to this, but I assure you, I won't be reading it. If I kept coming to this site, I would be a hypocrite. I was hoping to try and help people achieve what I have, but the only thing I've accomplished in writing on this site is frustrating myself because none of you seem to want to understand. I have nothing else to say here.
Goodbye
On 2004-09-22 15:11:00, mikehunt wrote:
"whether she's in an academic program or not really makes no difference to me... like i've said, skool can provide you with information and techniques; they can cram your brain full of information, but they can't teach you how to use it (your brain, that is... including all the information.) without self-discovered application skills, all the information in the world is absolutely useless.
by the way, thanks, i dig my mind as well. i appreciate your observance, both in regards to me and not.
_________________
laura solomon[ This Message was edited by: mikehunt on 2004-09-22 15:14 ]"
