Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Thayer Learning Center
Why I Post Anomalously
Deborah:
I'm not sure what causes you to imagine I'm a 'program parent'. Possibly a desire to confuse others and distract from the topic? I can't take credit for that one, but think it was an intellegent response.
Anonymous:
Note For Devlin Graves
Mr. Graves, you could not have made a better case for posting anomalously than your most recent submission.
I assume from the demeanor of your posts, you are a teen-ager or young adult. What you may not fully appreciate is the impression your posts have on adults. Far from having us think badly of teen recovery programs, we tend to think that someone like you cut his stay too short.
If your goal is to vent with your fellow psychologically damaged adolescents, then your postings -- and those of your compatriots -- admirably serve that objective. However, you might want to private-password your site so we adults don't read what you have to say to one another. Comments such as you have made only self-marginalize your criticism of teen recovery programs. Actually, I believe that many such programs may well be badly run and that many parents send their teens to inappropriate programs.
However, your comments will never convince an adult -- the actual parties who send the teens off to these schools -- that they are not worthy of serious consideration as alternatives to dealing with self-destructive teens.
The other problem with your and many other's posts, assuming you are trying to reach adults with troubled teens, is your failure to propose any alternatives. The standard rejoinder to a parent with a troubled teen is something along the lines of you-parent-must-have-been-bad-to-the-teen, or the like. Such comments simply are written off, serving as reinforcement by adults for the need to have their teen sent to boot camp.
So, Mr. Graves, the long and the short of it all is this: The hostile and vituperative posts of you and your fellow forum members serve to feed more teens into the boot camp programs you so loath. Adults see what you and others like you have to say (and the sad English in which you try to express yourselves) and form the conclusion that if they only send their son or daughter off to boot camp they can save them from turning out like you. In fact, I have referred two business associates with troubled teens to this website. One, after reading the various posts has sent his daughter off to a boot camp program. The other is still thinking about whether or not to send his son. Tonight I e-mailed him to read your most recent posting.
Thank about it Mr. Graves; how many of your posts have convinced parents like myself that their teens' need more marching and push-ups than therapy? You just may well be the Bundy's best friends.
Mr. Graves, I like you after all. You do serve an admirable purpose on this earth.
Your Friend, Nemo
Devlin:
Just cover you ass. Thayer may be next on the target list, i will be monitering the place and passing along info to the right people in the state about Thayer. Hopefully the state will do somthing about them, if not we will come to close them down.
Just rember we already closed down on place in Missouri (Mountain Park Academy) they had money and lots of lawyers to fight. We still won and closed them. By the way it was a painfull shut down, when we first started with Mountain Park the had close to 200 kids! When we finally forced them to close the only had 41 kids!
If i was Willa or John Bundy i would worry. They may think they are safe for now, but Thayer could become a target at any time.
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2004-09-09 21:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
Note For Devlin Graves
Mr. Graves, you could not have made a better case for posting anomalously than your most recent submission.
I assume from the demeanor of your posts, you are a teen-ager or young adult. What you may not fully appreciate is the impression your posts have on adults. Far from having us think badly of teen recovery programs, we tend to think that someone like you cut his stay too short.
If your goal is to vent with your fellow psychologically damaged adolescents, then your postings -- and those of your compatriots -- admirably serve that objective. However, you might want to private-password your site so we adults don't read what you have to say to one another. Comments such as you have made only self-marginalize your criticism of teen recovery programs. Actually, I believe that many such programs may well be badly run and that many parents send their teens to inappropriate programs.
However, your comments will never convince an adult -- the actual parties who send the teens off to these schools -- that they are not worthy of serious consideration as alternatives to dealing with self-destructive teens.
The other problem with your and many other's posts, assuming you are trying to reach adults with troubled teens, is your failure to propose any alternatives. The standard rejoinder to a parent with a troubled teen is something along the lines of you-parent-must-have-been-bad-to-the-teen, or the like. Such comments simply are written off, serving as reinforcement by adults for the need to have their teen sent to boot camp.
So, Mr. Graves, the long and the short of it all is this: The hostile and vituperative posts of you and your fellow forum members serve to feed more teens into the boot camp programs you so loath. Adults see what you and others like you have to say (and the sad English in which you try to express yourselves) and form the conclusion that if they only send their son or daughter off to boot camp they can save them from turning out like you. In fact, I have referred two business associates with troubled teens to this website. One, after reading the various posts has sent his daughter off to a boot camp program. The other is still thinking about whether or not to send his son. Tonight I e-mailed him to read your most recent posting.
Thank about it Mr. Graves; how many of your posts have convinced parents like myself that their teens' need more marching and push-ups than therapy? You just may well be the Bundy's best friends.
Mr. Graves, I like you after all. You do serve an admirable purpose on this earth.
Your Friend, Nemo
"
--- End quote ---
I would tend to agree with you Nemo, except that every coin is two-sided. First remember that not all these posters are teens or young adults. Some of them have have not been involved with these programs for upward of 3 decades. You are quick to point out their lack of education as if this is a justification for a treatment progam. What you fail to take into your view is often these programs don't allow these young people to attend school. So do you think this helps or compounds this particular problem? Would you bring this up to your adult friends considering treatment for a child? I think not. If you all need alternatives to long term treatment do some independent research. At least take this much responsibility. There is actually a psychological model that speaks of the effects of institutionalization in the adolescent years. This people are actually fulfilling this prophecy. Take more time with your children, don't be so quick to send them away. Accept that your role as parent should not be up for grabs at the first sign of strife. Does the old addadge "When the going gets tough the tough get going" ring any bells? If your thinking held true the tough should hire an expensive babysitter no matter the cost to the child. What does the parent stand to gain? More free time at the country club, or is it drinks with the Jones down the street, or maybe a long get away to Europe. I guess whatever it takes to free up your life. Remember nobody forced you to have these children. The truth is you had the children now take responsibility for raising them. How dare you come here and put these people down for harboring the problems your ideas acknowledge, yet sweep aside because that would inconvience your lifestyle.
Anonymous:
nemo be a "programed" parent with a child at TB. just trying to justify sending their child away to the island of jamaica.
nemo, did your parents raise you or did they send you off to an island to grow up?
if not; why then would you treat your child in this manner?
if so; i can understand your logic. then again, i'd be trying to modify your family's tradition of mailing the children off to be raised and educated by the lower income class of jamaicans.
not that there is anything wrong with jamaicans nor the lower class.
that's just the life they have been dealt via their government and time. if you really want to help them, take the WHOLE family over to the island for a vacation. spend a ton of money and YOU can personally spur the jamaican economy.
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