Caught In The Middle

[85 Day Jerk]

I saw Malcolm in the Middle tonight and it triggered the memories for the following post.


Coming home from school would entail walking through Kenneth City and then cutting through Memorial Park Cemetary with my step brother Scott and making fun of headstones with funny names.  They had alot, like Rusty Pipes and Peter Whacker, etc.  When we got to the house, I would pick the trash cans up and spin around discus style and let them smash against the side of the house a good 20 feet away.  I would then head for the laundry room to the object of my affection.  A beat to shit Montgomery Ward Signature Series Vacuum Cleaner.  I believe I destroyed 3 of them while living there.  Starting in the living room, I would vacuum the floor while throwing everything in sight into a grocery bag.  Full bags went on top of the washing machine.  Any paper trash not reclaimed was then thrown into the garbage along with whatever clutter left in the bag.
When the vacuum ran out of cord, I would curse, unplug it and throw the damn thing into the next room, usually where my brother was sitting on his ass watching tv, scaring the shit out of him and getting him to at least clean the clutter off of the coffee table.  I would whip the vacuum around like Starsky & Hutch were driving it and vacuum up the bits of plaster and dust left behind every time it hit a section of the wall.  Occasionally one of the wheels would come off
and I would have to put it back on.  When I got to the dining room I would suddenly change gears and vacuum like an English butler.  The china cabinet was way to fragile for any Starsky & Hutch action, but once I hit the hallway, it was action show time again.  Gracefully arcing through the air, it would crash into my older brothers dresser sending shit flying in all directions
which I would then vacumm up never to be seen again.  Following dinner, I would bust at least one settings worth of china while doing the dishes, or at least scratch the hell out of something.  I was nothing more than an indentured servant the whole time I stayed there.  My father and stepmother never showed the slightest interest in my schoolwork, plans for the future or anything.  I never once saw a dentist since coming home on second phase.  What the hell WAS I to them?  I am 39 years old and I still don't understand why my dad even bothered getting me to come live with him.  I just thank the Lord that my grandfather lived close by and I was able to establish a relationship with him that helped bring about
closure to the program, as I moved into my mid twenties and what waited beyond.   -Bob

[MommaDebi]

"My father and stepmother never showed the slightest interest in my schoolwork, plans for the future or anything. I never once saw a dentist since coming home on second phase. What the hell WAS I to them? I am 39 years old and I still don't understand why my dad even bothered getting me to come live with him."

I am 43 years old and have often felt the same way.
I came home evey day after school, vacumed, set table, started dinner in oven, went to work came home, did the dinner's dishes, did homework and went to bed. Even though I had 2 younger siblings in home. My sterpsister was only 2 years younger, and my brother only 1 year younger.But they had NO Chores!!

I had just moved in with my father right before I turned 13, in the Seed before I turned 14 and at work as soon as program "allowed" me to have the "priviledge". I also got to pay rent $25/week (in '74 it was a lot of my paycheck)
:smile:

[85 Day Jerk]

Wow!  We both wore the same pair of shoes!  I started paying rent of $25 a week in '81.
I stopped doing chores as well, then resumed only so the step mom would shut the hell up.
My dad put in for a home improvement loan and we said goodbye to newcomers, since me and the older brother were on 5th phase anyway.  We had a brand new kitchen with all the latest appliances.  Even had a special faucet that shot out near boiling hot water for instant coffee and stuff.  The dishwasher became the most truly wonderful toy my father ever bought me.  At least once a week, I would find new ways to make another
"mistake"  adding to the wholesale destruction of dinnerware.  I think my most brilliant move was jamming the the open handle of some hotdog tongs over the top sprayer jet thingy, where it spun around at high speed smashing every damn glass it touched!!!!!  Wow, this feels so good to be typing this!  Thank you for letting me know that I was not alone in this sort of situation.  I think the blind obediance the program instilled in us allowed these sick family relationships to fester for so long.
Now the only question remaining is, was I the only Straightling guilty of the mass-destruction of countless household appliances
in an effort to vent the rage of having been robbed of normal adolescense?  -Bob in St. Pete

[Anonymous]

I have enjoyed your tale as well!
I myself did not have the courage to actively destroy items within the home. I probally would have been charged the replacement cost!
As it was my father was a physically violent man, and every time I had to go to the Doc/Hospital as a result of my beating (to tape ribs, get stitches etc) I was in more trouble and had to repay the cost of treatment.
That is not to say that I accepted this very nicely. But rather passively/aggressively was more my MO.I quickly learned to make up friends names, and sleep over at these imaginary people's homes.
I lived my own life as much as I could but learned to generally "play the obedience game" at home.I happily left soon after I turned 16, the broken ribs, black eye and split lip were a very small and happily paid price for the priviledge of packing up and leaving my "Cinderella" life behind!
 I always believed that other people had different(loving and close) family lives behind those closed doors.I thought that I was somehow the cause of these attacks on my body and my soul. somehow is it reassuring (although saddening) to hear of others like myself.
 As a parent I find it mind boggling trying to understand what my parents thought they were doing to me.
debi

[MommaDebi]

OPPS~~ forgot to log in.LOL
I wrote the last post!
debi

[ This Message was edited by: MommaDebi on 2002-08-05 10:12 ]

[Tampa survivor]

I think my most brilliant move was jamming the the open handle of some hotdog tongs over the top sprayer jet thingy, where it spun around at high speed smashing every damn glass it touched!!!!!


OHMIGOD.  I fell out of my chair laughing...you do know how to write. Well, my parents seemed to chill way the fuck out after I came home, so destruction of an intentional nature was not needed. When I started partying in college we had some fun nights in battle, then I moved out.I LOVED that crap about "call if your drinking " and not get in trouble with us shit.  Every time I called from somewhere to say " I AM DUI..camping out tonite" (@ 19), I caught royal shit.  For not driving.  Go figure.


  Peace.  Measured doses of family are best.  




[ This Message was edited by: tampa survivor on 2002-08-05 21:23 ]

[ This Message was edited by: tampa survivor on 2002-08-05 21:25 ]

[85 Day Jerk]

I posted this in August of 2002, but did not get much response, so here it goes a second time around.