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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

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Anonymous:
Hi Cathy:

My name is Char. I was in the Lauderdale Seed in 72-74? (exact dates fuzzy). As I read your post and have read everyone elses' and think of my own story I am impressed and amazed that any one of us functions. It seems that all of us before we went into The Seed were kids that either never did drugs or just partied a little like kids do and we ended up in hell due to someone elses' decision.
I went through a lot of what you went through, the sexual and physical abuse. I know from what I have read on this site a lot of the women that post here have. Getting beaten down has that affect on some people. You get used to it, I did. You think you deserve it, I did. But we don't, not any of us. Every person on this site deserves the exact same thing that people from happy "Disney" families get (though I don't know how many of those really exists). I think we all meet people that can change our lives for the better. People that help us see that we are all in the same boat. Living in an incredibly screwed up world with some incredibly mean and manipulative people. But we don't have to take what we were forced to go through when we were kids. Just reading everyones postings here has helped me feel a little bit more like a whole person, that I am not alone.
Every day I go through (and I know every person on this board must go through) not living like the scared and abused child, teen and young adult I was but living like an adult that knows right from wrong. Living depressed and scared is just wrong due to Mr. A. Barker and his minions.
I can see you have been through the mill and back more than once but there actually exists in this world people that are aware and believe in treating others with respect. And that is some statement coming from me because I see the world much of the time as nothing but one ugly mess, in other words, I am not a Pollyanna. But they do exist and it was only recently I started seeing that and I am 45. So please don't give up. If someone in your life does not understand then lean towards the people that do and I know the people here do. We are all trying to function and get over the abuse and it is a winning battle even if it takes time.

BTW, to anyone that is reading, my memory is bad (probably due to blocking things out, do ya blame me :smile:) but if anyone was in the Lauderdale Seed during 72-74 I was the girl in the talent show that sang Beautiful People by Melanie. Susie roped me into that one. (I was always a people pleaser but I'm working on it, that's why I listen to hip hop now, working on my assertiveness techniques :smile:) It's nice after 30 years to meet some of the Beautiful People that survived. And if any Seed staff are out there lurking, F*** you. Sorry folks, had to get that one out.

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem"

DKM84:
I'm very sorry this all happened to you, I wish there was something I could do to help

Somejoker:
there is and you are doing it. Participate in this forum and help us figure some things out. I seems that you may be positioned to tell us some things we need to know. First things first (Yech) I am posting a question for you at the top of the list. Please answer to the best of your recollection.

sunflower:
Hi Marnie,I remember you from straight.My sister Lisa and I were there in 77/78.I'm sorry about your brother-I remember Ken, and Jennie also.
you've been through alot with staight and the Seed and I hope that the time and pain will be redeemed.Memories are flooding back as I read the posts and its weird .My family does not talk about staight but the older I get the more I recognize the effect it had on me socially ie-dating,friendships etc,in the years immediately following.I think that you and I went on a"permission"once to the movies.You seemed kind and genuine.I remember John R. who was also good to me {indirectly of course}and the few tenderhearted souls around who were a saving grace.Take care,Laura M

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